"Because there's no bumper sticker to celebrate mediocrity"

04/28/2008 By

As a confirmed child pimp, I SO NEED THIS BOOK:

Howtocover_2

Tips, man. Can’t get enough of em’.

A brief excerpt:

Slide_50100_3_interior_2

ALSO: "Learn How To:

  • Determine your traumatizing “type”
  • Cultivate your children’s resentment
  • Give your children enough material to write a memoir someday
  • Defend your choices against others who’ve opted to traumatize differently"

Orderable (it’s a word, I just made it up) here (and while you’re at it, you may want to also pick this book up, because I can’t tell you the number of times the wisdom of poo has helped me get through tough parenting decisions). Two thumbs up, five gold stars, it’s the feel-good book of the summer, THE END.

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Filed Under: Amusements, Random Bits Tagged With: ,
  • http://jonathonmorgan.net Jonathon

    That is amazing/my parenting technique in a nutshell.

  • http://www.yougrowgirl.com Gayla

    My parents wrote this book AND the follow-up instructional DVD series.

  • http://www.sweetney.com sweetney

    Gayla: And I'm working on an interactive CD-ROM as we speak!

  • http://kiawestwood.blogspot.com Kia

    I'm glad to know someone has written a book to justify how my husband and I are raising our son!

  • http://redpens-diapers.blogspot.com Cheryl

    I think Mister Rogers just became a little bit more dead. You know what, though? It's so freaking true. Our kids need less coddling and more calculus. Do you think those super-smart kids in India were told every day that they were special and loved? Hell no. I'm going to turn off cartoons and show my 2yo how to design rocket ships.

  • http://magnetoboldtoo.com Kelley

    Damn it! Now I have to re-name my book and the follow up 'Teenagers: How to get them to pay for their own freaking therapy AND your wine'

  • http://irishkat.blogspot.com Kat

    Damn! You created a mad rush and now they are sold out. Guess i will have to keep traumatizing my kid on my own.