Childbirth Ate My Remote Control

03/07/2011

*You’ll have to excuse my brevity, I type with one hand these days (I‘m handicapped. I don’t write with one hand just for fun. I didn’t give up my right hand for Lent or anything).*

So. Its happened. I admit it. I’m not ashamed. (OK. I totally am, but I’m trusting you not to laugh.) (Which proves I trust the wrong douche-biscuits.) (Post for another day.)

Anyway. It DID happen. And it happens quite often, actually. “It”?

Well, the “It” that is SO TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL is that I often realize I’m watching a kids’ show.

The “It” that is SO TOTALLY A BIG FREAKIN’ DEAL is that oftentimes there are no kids around.

And the “It” that is SO TOTALLY SUCH A BIG FREAKIN’ DEAL THAT IT EATS YOUR BRAIN?  I. LIKE. THEM. A lot.

brainMelt 350x274 Childbirth Ate My Remote Control

photo courtesy of diarynecromancer.blogspot.com

I’ve found myself torn between Zack and Cody more often than I care to admit. And I couldn’t even tell you how many times Spongebob has toyed with my emotions. SIGH. Oh, Carly – I wish I could quit you!

This is my fatal flaw, I suppose. My Achilles Heel. (And sadly, not a totally hot and sweaty Brad Pitt Achilles.  More like a Gordan Mitchell Achilles.)
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image courtesy of ioffer.com

Hi, my name is Anissa, and I am a watcher of children’s television programs.

And not just because I’m too lazy to dig up the remote and change the channel. I sometimes actually enjoy the simple humor, the uncomplicated plot lines. The L-I-T-E-N-E-S-S of it all. It’s… soothing.

Yes. Go right ahead and judge me. I will stand proudly and say to all who can hear: “I AM A FAN OF PHINEAS AND FERB!”

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image courtesy of Disney Channel

…And then I will duck, and blame it on my kids.

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  • http://ballstothewallyall.com Robin Plemmons

    Phineas & Ferb? Really? I’ve never seen that but I thoroughly enjoy a good Spongebob episode when I’m not watching the shittiest reality TV I can find.

    P.S. I laughed super hard at your Lent joke.

    • http://Www.freeAnissa.com Anissa

      If you can ever answer “Where’s Perry?”. You’re doomed.

  • http://www.traceygaughranperez.com Tracey

    Phineas and Ferb = DA BOMB. I also would totally watch Adventure Time even if my kid wasn’t into it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    • http://Www.freeAnissa.com Anissa

      Hold me.

      Let’s watch “the Last Avitar” together.

  • http://surprisedmama.com Charma

    I love this post! I was thinking that the other day when I caught myself watching one of my son’s favorite shows…while he was knocked out asleep on the floor. These things will definitely suck you in with their simplicity. If only everything could be as simple and care free as those shows! And wouldn’t it be awesome to solve all of your issues within 30 minutes! Lol!

    • http://Www.freeAnissa.com Anissa

      Exactly!

      You have to love that no matter when you walk into a show you understand it right away. You don’t have to invest 4 weeks to enjoy it.

  • http://atomicmom.typepad.com Ashley

    At our house it is constantly on Discovery or History channel. Such intense and stressful programs ALL DAY LONG. I often force him to change to Cartoon Network because it is much easier on my brain.

    You are not weird. In that way, anyway. ;)

    • http://Www.freeAnissa.com Anissa

      HISTORY CHANNEL! Time suck defined.

      Sometimes you have to decompress from something that’s supposed to relax you.

  • http://thepsychobabble.net thepsychobabble

    iCarly and Wizards of Waverly place are my secret shame.
    They often come on right after bedtime around here. And it started out as my forgetting to turn off the tv in the background.
    And now I’ve kind of gotten sucked in. A little.

    • http://Www.freeAnissa.com Anissa

      OMG! I won’t even lie.

      I do like the WWP! I think the humor in that show is actually really good.

  • http://ontheroadlesstaken.blogspot.com AdrienneMay

    I am not ashamed to admit I have watched all those shows. I got sad when Miley grew up, or when the girls grew up and they no longer wanted to watch it. I LOVE phineas and ferb, more than any of the kids do. I know, its sad, but I don’t care.

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      Wonderful-commenter-on-a-guest-post says “what”?

  • http://www.themothertongue.blog.com Heather @ The Mother Tongue

    Girl, I watch Spongebob and Phineas & Ferb all the time with my kids. Ain’t no thing.

    However, I am well and truly sick of Dora the Explorer.

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      I have a firm belief that when your kids are old enough to comment on the absurdly LARGE size of Dora’s head its time for The Closer.

  • http://adventuresinjuggling.wordpress.com Laura Scarborough

    Love the goodness that is Phineas and Ferb and I do have my 9 y/o to thank for it….just add that to the super long list of things I must thank him for.

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      I have a 9yo and add it to the song “Freak The Freak Out”.

      Stuck in my head for two weeks!

      • http://jibberblog.blogspot.com Melissa

        OMG. Freak the Freak Out! I hate that I love that song! Can I get that on iTunes, can I listen to it when other people are around? what should my level of embarrassment be? Damn you Victorious!

        • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

          Come! Let’s share our shame together!

  • Jess

    I’ll watch Spongebob, have caught a few Carly’s, never seen the others.

    Is this what having children does for you? Not only takes away sleep, but good tv too?

    I’m scared.

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      Be Afraid.

      Be very A-F-R-A-I-D

  • BlueMomma

    Damn. I told my friends it wasn’t just me. I knew I was right. :-)

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      No, we’re getting name badges and a support group soon.

  • http://www.mamakaren.posterous.com MamaKaren

    I have a bunch of Phineas and Ferb music on my iPod. One could claim that it’s because I have a playlist for Hoss to put on his Shuffle. And any accounts of me being jealous because the P&F hightops only came in children’s sizes are greatly (that is to say “not at all”) exaggerated.

    The kids caught Hubby watching iCarly over Christmas break (“Mom, we weren’t even upstairs with him! He was just watching it on his own!”) and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t surprised.

  • Amanda Benjamin

    I am so glad that you are in the “Mom’s high on Disney or trippen on Nickelodeon Club”. Dude Sponge Bob is funny! There is some funny shit in there. Remember when he and Patrick got drunk of ice cream?!
    “I’m a goofy goober YA!!!! You’re a goofy goober YAY!!!”
    Don’t act like you don’t know the words!!! And holy crap DID YOU KNOW that Sam and Freddie KISSED!!!!!! Dude…that is serious. No shame in my game!

    • http://www.FreeAnissa.com Anissa

      “WE’RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS YEAH!”

      I know ‘em.

      Bitch.

  • Helenel

    I LOVE Phineas and Ferb! I can’t decide which song is my fave, tho I think it’s “Backyard Beach”. And I know it’s not really very good for my kids, but I really love ‘Fanboy and Chum Chum’.