He sees you when you’re doubting, He knows when you vacillate.

12/05/2011 By 17 Comments

Scene: this morning, breakfast.

Me, to the kid: So Amy mentioned that me she overheard you telling Noah that you don’t believe in Santa now?

Her, looking shocked that I’m actually calling her out on this: Uhh… what?

Him, mimicking the kid’s voice: I plead the fifth! I ain’t saying anythin’ either way! You don’t got nuthin’ on me, copper!

Her, to him: As soon as I’m done eating, I’m coming over there to jump on you and make you pay.

Me: But seriously, did you say that?

Her, with conviction: No.

Him, mimicking her: I don’t want to talk about it! I’m hedging my bets! WHAT IF HE *CAN* HEAR AND SEE YOU, JUST LIKE IN THAT SONG?

Her: [dramatically gives C the stink eye]

Me: So do you not believe in Santa now?

Her: No, I believe. I mean, who doesn’t believe?

Me: Dogs. Isolated pygmy tribes. Satan.

Him: Wise move, kid. Sit on that fence. Never risk a presentless Christmas.

Me: [banging head slowly on table]

Oh yes, that’s right. Despite voluminous signs pointing to the contrary, it’s apparently STILL ON. Reports of Santa’s demise were greatly exaggerated!

Does the fact that a small part of me wishes we didn’t have to go through this ruse again make me a terrible, horrible person? I mean, don’t get me wrong – I realize this is probably the last Christmas in which Santa will play a role, and so I aim to savor every minute of it for sure. But I’m not going to lie: part of me looks forward to a end to the merry tomfoolery and jolly lies. SIGH.

Does your kid(s) still believe? Do you EVER plan on telling them THE AWFUL, SANTALESS TRUTH, or will you just keep on truckin’ with the half-eaten cookies and wrapped-with-differently-patterened-wrapping-paper shtick until they cry uncle?

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Relatedly: don’t forget to download my Holiday Mix if you haven’t already! It’s free! And AWESOME!

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Filed Under: Family, Motherhood, Personal Tagged With: , ,
  • http://twitter.com/Wordydiva Lisa B-K

    Lilly told us a few years ago that she figured it out when she was about 4 years old, but played along until she was 8 or 9 so it wouldn’t ruin the holidays for Jim. Yes, for Jim. I get all holiday-spiritual about the Solstice, not so much for Xmess.

    Enjoy the season!

    • http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney

      Aww, so thoughtful of her to not ruin it for the adults!

      A piece of work, that one. Which is to say, LOVE HER.

  • Lis Bokt

    Santa was never part of my household growing up and honestly- as an adult I’m fairly happy about it.

  • http://twitter.com/WickedStepmom C a t e

    Wait… Santa is not REAL??????

    • http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney

      I AM BREAKING THIS STORY ALL OVER THE INTERNETZ!

  • Anonymous

    I have one no, one pretty sure she still believes and one who will believe anything I tell him. Because he’s three and three is awesome like that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Laura-Stallard-Petza/1366223526 Laura Stallard Petza

    Elyse told me 18 months ago that she didn’t believe in Santa anymore. She listed all of the reasons she’d come to this conclusion — some kids, in spite of believing in Santa, hardly get any toys; a reindeer-driven sleigh is, at best, an impractical mode of worldwide transportation — and she even agreed to keep the horrible truth from her little brother for the time being. But then, bizarrely, when last Christmas rolled around, she acted — convincingly — as if she believed in Santa with all her heart. And this year, just like every year before, she made a list for Santa. I can certainly understand why she wouldn’t want to let go of the myth — shit, I remember learning the truth from a kid who was YOUNGER than I was, and I was both devastated and mortified — so, until she says something to the contrary, I just play along. But it feels weird. And vaguely dysfunctional.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624222472 Jackie Regales

      Laura, this exact scenario is happening to us–we had this big processing conversation where the girls were all pragmatic but disillusioned and we felt horrible–and now there are Santa letters already on the fridge door. WTF?

  • Anonymous

    Tracey, could you maybe help me out? I have to get a gift for a 9-year-old girl and I have NO IDEA what to get her. She’s somewhat related (my brother-in-law’s sister’s kid) and she’s also kind of an undisciplined brat. But still, a gift must be bought. Any ideas?

    Also, I have signed up at work to buy gifts for two 11-year-old girls for charity, which I am happy to do. But again, I have no insight into 11-year-old brains. These girls are unrelated to each other, as far as I know, and their names are Ruby and Maya.

    Halp?

    PS: Sweetney readers are most welcome to chime in!

  • maggie wilkin

    My ten year old knows the truth, which makes me kind of sad, actually. My 6 year old is still clueless which is awesome because I can say “Santa, did you see her just hit her sister?” and she still gets a little nervous ;) For me, Santa makes the holiday magical, my mom went to great lengths to get us to believe when I was little and Christmas lost some of its luster when we all finally knew the truth, so I am going to milk it as long as I can.

  • maggie wilkin

    My ten year old knows the truth, which makes me kind of sad, actually. My 6 year old is still clueless which is awesome because I can say “Santa, did you see her just hit her sister?” and she still gets a little nervous ;) For me, Santa makes the holiday magical, my mom went to great lengths to get us to believe when I was little and Christmas lost some of its luster when we all finally knew the truth, so I am going to milk it as long as I can.

  • Anonymous

    A friend of mine just posted a video of her kids getting their notes from Santa in the mail. Apparently, after they send in their wish lists they get a certificate from Santa declaring whether they are on the Naughty or Nice list. The five year old boy started whooping and running in circles in the driveway. The three year old girl, with a slightly worried look, asked for someone to read hers. When dad declared that she was on the nice list, she replied with an even more concerned look, “no but I was in time out a couple times”. He had to explain that she was good more than she was naughty. It was freaking adorable.