On Friday, out of nowhere, he said, “I’m thinking of doing that 4 Hour Body thing. Can you lend me the book?”
I looked at him, equal parts dubious and incredulous. This is not a man who needs to lose weight. “But WHY?” I asked.
“I’ve put on a few pounds this winter, ” he replied, tapping his completely non-existent anti-belly. “I want to give it a shot.”
“You realize there’s no bread on this diet, right? No bread, no pastries, no sugar. Nothing” I said, in ominous and foreboding tones. “And you’re, like, a baker. Did I mention no bread?”
“Just give me the goddamn book.”
“Fine.”
And this is how we came to be doing That 4 Hour Body Thing, aka the Slow Carb diet, together.
*
I weighed myself yesterday morning and found I’d lost a grand total of One Whole Pound last week during my first full week of dieting. Now, don’t get me wrong, a pound is a pound, and losing a pound is a good thing. Never look a, umm, gift pound in the mouth (?). I get it, I do. But understand, I’ve been working out 5 days a week for an hour each time. I’ve been counting every stinkin’ calorie, like a crazy obsessive-compulsive person, and WOE IS ME, SUFFERING HORRIBLY AND TERRIBLY (well, except for those French Martinis in Annapolis. BUT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN). And really, after all of that effort to come away with a loss of just one stinkin’ pound seems… Well, it seems downright unjust. Uncalled for and unfair. Especially when I have so freakin’ much to lose. In past diet times, when I’d get close to my goal weight I’d slow down to about a pound-a-week rate of loss, but I’d most certainly expect to be doing better than that when I’m – jesus – something like 40 pounds out from where I want to be. It seems I should be practically melting with all the effort I’m putting forth, you know? And so I’m starting to wonder if, indeed, something isn’t right. And if maybe that something-that-isn’t-right is that my diet has long been, and remains, relatively high in simple/white carbs and low in protein.
So we’re gonna find out, it seems. Because today is the first day of the rest of my breadstickless, white-carb-free life.
Umm, yay? I mean YAY!1!!!!
To kick things off, I’m also not going to exercise at all this first week. Well, unless getting up to change the channel when the remote buttons stick (stupid remote) could qualify as “aerobic.” Believe it or not I actually do *want* to exercise (well, to some extent I do, because as much as I hate it on one level on another I almost always feel better when I’m exercising regularly), but I’m going to use these first 7 days as an experiment, to see what kind of a difference going Slow Carb can make, all else aside. I’m going to follow the diet to the letter – no counting calories, no exercise, eating only the allowed foods – and weigh myself in one week. If I’ve done better than a pound loss, then I think it’s pretty clear what I need to be doing, right?
And let’s face it, it’ll be HUGELY helpful to have Charlie doing this with me. Before now, I’ve always been the one with the crazy, hair-brained (or not) diet schemes, trying to follow strict diet plans and control my caloric intake, while he would sit across the table from me, face buried in a mac & cheese calzone, wondering why I was so dang cranky. BUT NOW WE CAN BE CRANKY TOGETHER!1!!! WOOHOOO!!!
(Or, you know, something.)
Honestly though, I’m kind of weirdly excited about this because we’ll be doing it as a team. Having that support and reinforcement will be huge, I think. Have any of you gone the Slow Carb route with success? And if so, any tips, tricks or suggestions – particularly for someone who isn’t a big meat eater (me)?
