A Month of Love: Should marriage be “work”?
You hear it all the time – on TV, in magazines and books, and of course on the internet. So much so, that it’s become assumed wisdom. Marriages take work. Hard work. Lots and lots of work. Every day, you have to work at your relationship. Work, work, work. To hear people discuss it, being in a marriage sounds like a second, unpaid job. But should it be like that? Does it have to be like that? And if your marriage is really so much hard work, might that not indicate that something is in fact wrong – that perhaps the fit just isn’t a good one, that you’re not compatible with your spouse and might never be?
On my post introducing this Month of Love series, Jim commented:
I may be in the minority opinion here, but over the years I have concluded that love is or love isn’t. You read and hear so many experts talk about working at relationships and things couples can do to strengthen their understanding of each other blah blah. My philosophy is if you have to work at it, it’s not gonna work. 99% of anyone reading this will disagree. Experts will disagree. But to me, you fall in love. Falling is an uncontrollable thing. So is love.
And indeed, many voiced their disagreement in comments, supporting the marriage-is-work idea. I, however, wasn’t one of them.
Required Reading for February 1st, 2012
- Paris Street Style – 2012 Haute Couture Parisian Street Style – I am a whore for street style shots.
- ‘Downton Abbey’: 10 facts about the show’s real castle – Yes, I am just this nerdy for this show.
- ABADIDABOU Sarah Esteje – Incredibly realistic pen drawings. Stunning.
- I Believe I can Fly ( flight of the frenchies). Trailer on Vimeo – WHAT. THE. EFFING. EFF.
- No More E-Books Vs. Print Books Arguments, OK? – Seriously, can we PLEASE get over this? Jonathan Franzen, I love you, but GAH, SHUT IT ALREADY.
- QT Luong’s Treasured Lands – Crater Lake National Park – If these images don’t make you say “WOW” outloud, you may have no soul.
- Six Until Me.: Paula Deen: Glass Houses. – A refreshing and completely different take on the Paula Deen Diabetes Debacle.
- Zombie Friendship Necklace Set – I just bought this for me & mah BFF amalah to share. Go ahead and keep laughing – we’ll have your brains regardless.
- the pothole gardener – Guerilla gardening. In potholes. Genius.
- Venn Diagram of Reality TV shows – See where Wars, Weddings, and Monsters meet!
My Dog on Stuff: Fruit Bats Love Fruit Edition
And you're surprised why, exactly?
Caught on tape! Hand in the till! Hand in the till!1!!
Honest to jebus though, he LOVES fruit. Bananas, mangos, apples, and ESPECIALLY Larabars. I’m a fruit bat, you do the math, lady.
Something is very… not normal with this “dog.”
A Month of Love: Making it Good, Making it Work, Making it Last
Over the past several months I’ve had a number of friends ask me about my relationship with Charlie, about how we do it.
Oh, get your mind out of the gutter – not THAT kind of “do it” (though, to an extent, that’s relevant)! No, they mean ”do” the relationship. They want to know how it is that after a few years together we’re still so absurdly, stupidly moon-y and in love. How does that work – in practical terms and otherwise? How do we navigate problems and issues and make our relationship healthy and happy on a daily basis? One dear single friend wrote:
TEACH ME. Please please please tell me how you guys make it work… what frictions you have, how you work through crapola, how your daughter gets on with him. In short, tell me that there is Someday Hope, or that it’s all an appalling ruse and you are horribly malcontent.
Snapshots: January Photo Challenge Edition (Part 4)
I finished up a day early, such is my over-exuberant enthusiasm for this photo challenge. I’ve decided to keep at it, and to do the February challenge, too. So, you know, I hope you like pictures and stuff.
The couple that goes on weird meal plans together stays together
On Friday, out of nowhere, he said, “I’m thinking of doing that 4 Hour Body thing. Can you lend me the book?”
I looked at him, equal parts dubious and incredulous. This is not a man who needs to lose weight. “But WHY?” I asked.
“I’ve put on a few pounds this winter, ” he replied, tapping his completely non-existent anti-belly. “I want to give it a shot.”
“You realize there’s no bread on this diet, right? No bread, no pastries, no sugar. Nothing” I said, in ominous and foreboding tones. “And you’re, like, a baker. Did I mention no bread?”
“Just give me the goddamn book.”
“Fine.”
And this is how we came to be doing That 4 Hour Body Thing, aka the Slow Carb diet, together.
