i'm not earth-friendly.

for some reason or other we keep getting these swanky-ass mail-order catalogs -- apparently we're on somebody's list of suckers -- and today's mail brought one i hadn't seen before called harmony, hawking "unique and eco-conscious gifts." as i lamely flipped through this i began to realize how woefully ill-equipped i am to participate in their version of "eco-consciousness." i simply cannot afford the $70 organic cotton cable knit sweater or the $80 organic cotton fireside throw, the $9.25 seventh generation "eco-smart" laundry detergent, or the $98 peaceful awakenings harmonious chime clock. i won't even get into the "eco-chic" natural fiber hand-woven baskets and certified organic cotton feminine protection. suffice it to say that after giving it the once over, this catalog spoke to me -- as it were -- and what it said to me was YOU SUCK. okay, granted, if i was a fucking raging nutjob i'd be shelling out $70 for a fucking bland as shit cotton sweater, but though i strive to be good to the environment, i was raised to be the biggest cheapskate in the universe. that is my primary, ur-level nature, and it is diametrically opposed to every fiber of my being to 1) spend $70 on *anything* that isn't of the durable goods ilk, 2) to buy clothing that is not on sale or some sort of clearance. no.can.do.it. and $9.25 for LAUNDRY DETERGENT?!? are the people who buy this shit doing some sort of penance? have they, in the past, started forest fires and dumped toxic chemicals or something and thus are plagued with deep guilt-driven feelings that they must pay (literally and figuratively) for their trespasses?

listen, i recycle -- paper, plastic, aluminum, the whole shebang. when possible, i eat organic, buy items made of recycled paper, and i try as much as i can to support independent, local stores and buy things that are produced by companies that participate in fair trade and ecologically-friendly business practices. but i am no saint, and i can't live my life constantly worrying that i am not organic enough, or earth-conscious enough, or just plain enough. particularly not when at a certain point it just isn't financially viable. i guess this is like saying: sure, i wanna do my part to save the earth -- so long as its cheap...and though i'm not particularly proud of it, that's probably close to my reality.

anyway, enough. being a mama and all, i'm all stocked up on guilt, thanks very much. and yes, mama-guilt trumps environmental guilt any day of the week, believe me.

Comments

[MB]

Think of it this way -- you're doing a lot more for your part than some people are. And I'm of the opinion that consumption is still consumption, even if what you're buying *is* hand-made from Nepalese regurgitated hemp, or whatever.

Which is to say, I'm just as cheap as you are, and as long as I don't think about it, I'm fine. Plus, sometimes recycling saves you money! Like reusing sandwich bags! Go, Planet Earth!

[sweetney]

yeah, agreed. the guy who lives across the street from me off-handedly mentioned the other day -- when i brought up the neighborhood recycling schedule -- that "oh, we don't do that" ("we" referring to himself and his partner). he wasn't ashamed or apprehensive about it when he said it; it was as though this was just another choice among many, like whether you have corn pops or rice crispies in the morning. no biggie.

and i was just kind of taken aback. i mean, i'd be totally ashamed to admit to someone that, when given the chance to easily recycle, i actually *chose* not to. it just seems kinda...i dunno, self-centered? short-sighted? umm LAZY? yeah, all that shit.