Sweetney

dubya the movie.

an all-too-accurate depiction.

props to defective yeti.

today's moment of pop culture ADD.

hey, remember that show "queer eye for the straight guy"?

yeah, me neither.

about that scavenger hunt mixCD challenge thingy.

you may recall that i recently proposed a mixCD exchange betwixt me and you, my dear readers. well, i'd like to extend the date of the challenge to december 17th -- thus you still have ample time to get in on the fun! send an email to sweetney at sweetney dot com if you'd like to throw your hat into the ring.

oh yes, and the reason i'm making this generous offer? my ibook solidly and completely BIT IT this weekend, and i lost *everything*. all my email addresses, all my programs....the bookmarks i've been carefully compiling and hoarding since the late 90s...all gone. and of course, all my mp3s. so i have some serious reconstruction to do, and this extension will allow me to do that with minimal wailing and gnashing of teeth.

but oh yes, there will be weeping. sniff.

said in my most zombified voice: toys goooooood....

you gotta hand it to people who can make a roll of toilet paper and a tampon actually look, well, kinda cute.

thanksfornuthing.

though i realize i have much to be thankful for -- wait, let me try that again: though i realize i have MUCH to be thankful for, i'm feeling a little put-upon on this, our day of large fowl consumption.

M_ is, like, seriously ill today, and there's nothing like a snifflingsneezingcoughingaching toddler to bring any holiday to a grinding, screeching halt. so i'm stuck at home with her -- alone, cuz jamie kind of has to fulfill our familial obligations and go to his brother's house -- alone. all day. alone. with a pestilence-ridden two-year-old.

gulp.

so no thanksgiving meal for me (though in all honesty i'd pass on the tofurkey anyway, thanks very much). and to make things *even better*, its gloomy and raining...and oh yeah, like 60 degrees out, as if to merely up the level of torment: sure, its warm outside, but you can't go outside. fucking weather.

grumble grumble.

having said all that, i'm glad there's a real world philadelphia marathon on mtv right now. watching melodramatic 20-year-olds and the trainwrecks that they call lives tends to help me remember just how good and rich and relatively stable my life is, and for that i'm very, very thankful.

i think i'm actually going into shock.

while being someone who has been pretty much staunchly anti-death penalty, when i read things like this i actually think: screw the death penalty, tell me where she is and i'll take care of this personally.

relatedly, jamie and i have both admitted to each other that were anyone to seriously harm M_ in any way that we would track that person down and kill them, vigilante style.

those of you out there with kidlets doubtless understand this, regardless of your politics.

great, now i feel physically ill.

corporate fun.

spread anguish! create unease!

if only i had, you know, a job.

i'm not earth-friendly.

for some reason or other we keep getting these swanky-ass mail-order catalogs -- apparently we're on somebody's list of suckers -- and today's mail brought one i hadn't seen before called harmony, hawking "unique and eco-conscious gifts." as i lamely flipped through this i began to realize how woefully ill-equipped i am to participate in their version of "eco-consciousness." i simply cannot afford the $70 organic cotton cable knit sweater or the $80 organic cotton fireside throw, the $9.25 seventh generation "eco-smart" laundry detergent, or the $98 peaceful awakenings harmonious chime clock. i won't even get into the "eco-chic" natural fiber hand-woven baskets and certified organic cotton feminine protection. suffice it to say that after giving it the once over, this catalog spoke to me -- as it were -- and what it said to me was YOU SUCK. okay, granted, if i was a fucking raging nutjob i'd be shelling out $70 for a fucking bland as shit cotton sweater, but though i strive to be good to the environment, i was raised to be the biggest cheapskate in the universe. that is my primary, ur-level nature, and it is diametrically opposed to every fiber of my being to 1) spend $70 on *anything* that isn't of the durable goods ilk, 2) to buy clothing that is not on sale or some sort of clearance. no.can.do.it. and $9.25 for LAUNDRY DETERGENT?!? are the people who buy this shit doing some sort of penance? have they, in the past, started forest fires and dumped toxic chemicals or something and thus are plagued with deep guilt-driven feelings that they must pay (literally and figuratively) for their trespasses?

listen, i recycle -- paper, plastic, aluminum, the whole shebang. when possible, i eat organic, buy items made of recycled paper, and i try as much as i can to support independent, local stores and buy things that are produced by companies that participate in fair trade and ecologically-friendly business practices. but i am no saint, and i can't live my life constantly worrying that i am not organic enough, or earth-conscious enough, or just plain enough. particularly not when at a certain point it just isn't financially viable. i guess this is like saying: sure, i wanna do my part to save the earth -- so long as its cheap...and though i'm not particularly proud of it, that's probably close to my reality.

anyway, enough. being a mama and all, i'm all stocked up on guilt, thanks very much. and yes, mama-guilt trumps environmental guilt any day of the week, believe me.

the Earth has left its orbit and is hurtling towards the sun.

is it just me, or is harper's magazine's findings oddly poetic?

CDmix challenge 2004.

here's the deal. let's trade mixCDs. i'll make a mixCD that follows the guidelines listed below, and if you send me one of your own that follows those guidelines, i'll send you a copy of mine. the deadline will be Dec. 6th, so it doesn't linger on too long. each track should be chosen as follows (up until your CD is full):

1. A favorite political track.
2. One of those tracks that will make you dance on the dancefloor no matter what.
3. The song you'd use to tell someone you love them.
4. A song you know would sell lots of VWs (or ipods, or whatever) if they paid for it. (One that hasn't already been used).
5. A song that forced you to sit down and analyze its lyrics.
6. A song you like that a 2 year old would like too.
7. A song that makes you drive too fast.
8. A song that makes you feel like kicking someone's ass.
9. A song that both you and your grandparents (would probably) like.
10. A song you really liked when you were 14-16 that you don't hate now.
11. The song you'd send to someone you hated.
12. A sad instrumental song that would be in the soundtrack to a movie about your life.
13. The peppy song that that would start the opening credits in the soundtrack to a movie about your life.
14. An a cappella song.
15. A good song from a genre of music that no one could guess that you liked.
16. A song you think should have been playing when you were born.
17. A favorite artist duo collaboration.
18. A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, commonsenically, religiously etc.)
19. The song that you love despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it.
20. Your smooth song, for relaxing.
21. A song that you like but would play loud to annoy the neighbors.
22. A favorite song that's about a sport or sports.
23. A favorite track from an outfit considered a "super-group."
24. The song that makes you want to drink more beer.

email me at sweetney at sweetney dot com if you'd like to participate and/or if you have any questions.

EDIT: those *not* participating can see my playlist by reading the extended version of this entry...

anal probing.

apparently M_'s preschool had an outbreak of pinworms this week. for those of you not in the know (which would've included me, until about 45 minutes ago), here's a little info-nugget from the CDC's handy pinworm infection fact sheet:

This infection is caused by a small, white intestinal worm called Enterobius vermicularis (EN-ter-O-be-us ver-MIK-u-lar-is). Pinworms are about the length of a staple and live in the rectum of humans. While an infected person sleeps, female pinworms leave the intestines through the anus and deposit eggs on the surrounding skin.

[shudder]

so the deal is that we are basically now on Code Red Anal Watch, and must monitor M_'s butt and its butt-products constantly, maintain OCD-level hand washing behavior, and try to repress our dry heaves.

as long as its after noon, its okay to break out the hard liquor, right?

eno's oblique strategies*

"These cards evolved from our separate observations of the principles underlying what we are doing. Sometimes they were recognized in retrospect (intellect catching up with intuition), sometimes they were identified as they were happening, sometimes they were formulated. They can be used as a pack (a set of posibilities being continuously reviewed in the mind) or by drawing a single card from a shuffled pack when a dilemma occurs in a working situation. In this case the card is trusted even if it appropriateness is quite unclear. They are not final, as new ideas will present themselves, and others will become self-evident." - Brian Eno

these are pretty rad. on the interweb here, downloadable for OSX here.

*also please note "oblique strategies" fortune on my main page, with a special nod/wink/buttkiss to mrs. kennedy of fussy fame.

remember my earlier post about feeling a sense of foreboding and doom?

well i may have had something there.

[shoots self in face]

oh yeah, this just helped my mood.

Extinction Threatens 15,589 Animal, Plant Species, IUCN Reports

check please!

via low culture

chock full o' chuckles.

if i had a normal job (some would say "real job" -- and to those of you who say this, i counter with: BITE ME), today is a day i would've called in sick. you know those days when you wake up and feel an unbidden, inexplicable sense of dread and foreboding, a slight wiff of free-floating doom mixed with an odd feeling that you are somehow not entirely tethered to your body...those days when you feel that you are, in fact, an interloper in your own life, surveying the terrain of what needs to be done and finding it all distinctly *not good*? today is one of those days. unfortunately my unjob requires that i persist and attend to the unreal work allotted me -- one of the serious drawbacks of this fictitious profession.

on the silver lining side of things, i just checked the mail and lo, a bounty of netflix goodness was arrayed before me: supersize me, mean girls, and the 2nd disk of the 1st season of the wire. that's gotta be happiness-producing, right? i mean, what the fuck do i want?

and, finally, to shore more fragments against my ruin, i will listen to this over and over and over, until my eardrums bleed.

letting other people vent my rage for me.

checked in with the best of craigslist, and found some pretty sobering, pointed, and amusing posts regarding our recent "election."

honestly, i'm starting to wonder when exactly i'm going to stop being filled with anger and bile about all of that. isn't that, like, how people get bleeding ulcers and shit?

why i continue to subscribe.

1. the new yorker: a whole article devoted to the subject of plagiarism. how awesome is that? okay, call me a geek, but that shit's fascinating. to me. cough.

2. shut up.

3. entertainment weekly: at the last possible moment yesterday (aroundabout 6pm EST), they managed to remind me (via their weekly tv schedule with the dictatorial name what to watch) that the amazing race was starting last night. that's invaluable assistance, people. god knows what would've happened had i not been a subscriber. whew, that was a close one.

4. vanity fair: ooooh puuurty picturrrrres.....[drools uncontrollably all over self]

5. interview: actually, i don't know why i subscribe to this showboaty, vapid, pretentious, and like sooo over magazine. forget it. unsubscribed! next!

6. harpers: i'm a good, card-carrying liberal, folks. plus the harpers index is always useful for the mining of random (and, increasingly, depressing -slash- distressing) trivia.

7. consumer reports: like most of us living in the ol' US of A, i like to consume vast quantities of product. yet i also like to feel that in my consuming i am somehow being "smart," or am part of a minority who is (see:has paid to be) "in the know" w/r/t product quality, safety, etcetera. so while i in fact might be "pathologically self-deluded" and a "servant of capitalism," "a cog in the machine" who "blindly participates in her own programming by The Man," at least i'm proactive about it. and you can't take that away from me, dammit!

8. this old house: i live in an old house, and therefore must have a magazine about it. how else will i know how to live properly in my own home?

now if they could only create magazines for armchair quarterbacking reality tv shows and front-porch smoking i'd have pretty much all my bases covered...

question: what is choice?

answer: the new strongbad email.

oh and ps: i just ordered this. [insert squeals of consumptive glee]

communication skillz.

some good advice.

:)!

via zefrank

rats fleeing a sinking ship.

more resignations expected.

uhh yeah.

if pirates ruled the world.

new photoshop contest here, matey.

via boing boing

from the banal files: housebreaking fun.

how many different ways can one say "potty outside"?

you can't even begin to imagine.

soon she'll be saying "let them eat cake."

Madonna calls for US troops to leave Iraq

"I just don't want American troops to be in Iraq, period," she said on BBC Radio.

did the french vote her into office or something? minister of pomposity?

and the award for funniest blog comments this week goes to:

stereogum.com: "Courtney Pleads Guilty To Eye Rolling" -- 11/10/04

its the end of the world as we know it, and i feel fine.

ladies and gentlemen, our civilization at work:

pringles potato chips introduces pringles prints: each chip in the container has some sort of colored imprint laid on its surface.

or, quoth the commercial on the matter, "there's printed fun on every one!"

i'm guessing we put our best and brightest to work coming up with that one.

g'night everybody!

i [heart] the hairy shitmobile.

i know i've seen this before, but its STILL FUNNY. and we all need funny right now.

can i get a sedative with that coffee?

a coffee shop -slash- children's bookstore just opened in my hood, so M_ and i wandered on down there this morning, me dragging her behind me in her wagon. the place is awesome and cozy and kinda funky -- they sell scones that look like real scones, unlike the "scones" of starbucks, which are really just triangular muffins masquerading as scones -- and i cannot begin to express the joy i feel at having an actual, viable place to buy decent coffee within walking distance. all this goodness, of course, karmicly doomed our pilgrimage, as on the way home M_ insisted on leaving the safety of the wagon to walk beside me and fell face-first onto some jagged sidewalk concrete. *commence the siren-like wailing.* she had actual blood gushing from her mouth, so i scooped her up and ran home (which was luckily only a block away at that point). a few minor scrapes, the blood-gush subsided, and now all seems well.

drama #1 of the day successfully navigated.

and people wonder why stay at home mothers develop drug and/or alcohol problems.

fire up the vcr/tivo/whatever.

tonight on frontline (9pm EST): the persuaders.

A PBS documentary makes the case that Americans have tuned out marketers
pitching everything from cars to candidates. The result: even more crass
attempts to get through, and a fragmentation of American society.

read more about it here.

secret names.

i'm reading the new Best American Nonrequired Reading (edited by my friend and yours, mister dave eggers), and found therein a genius piece by david mamet that all of you should take the time to read. because uhhh i said so.

the subtle eloquence of the right.

a comment i received yesterday:

Name: These nuts
Email Address: xxxxxx@hotmail.com
URL:
Comments:

What a massive douchebag you people are, and unfortunatley your son is quickly becoming one too although he's just an innocent bystander in your ignorance. I'm sorry that your little Kerry didn't win...but I coulda told you that...GOP got this shit locked, there won't be another whiney liberal in the white house for another 20+ years. Enjoy.

was the vote hacked?

a couple interesting pieces summarizing the evidence here and here.

also, somewhat relatedly: i'm totally getting one of these.

sorry everybody.

Some of us — hopefully most of us — are trying to understand and appreciate the effect our recent election will have on you, the citizens of the rest of the world. As our so-called leaders redouble their efforts to screw you over, please remember that some of us — hopefully most of us — are truly, truly sorry. And we'll say we're sorry, even on the behalf of the ones who aren't.

my submission?

update: submission is live at http://72.3.131.10/gallery/52/

well that's interesting.

no more shall i be

no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
oh i've walked from coast to coast, and i've seen, yes i've seen.
no one's business but my own, where i've been, where i've been, and
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
in the days when we were young, we were free, we were free.
with each new day that's begun, we won't be, we can't be, so
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
though my name of bygone years is in the land, in the land,
i'll uproot it without tears, and i'll change it if i can, and
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.
no more shall i be loyal to my sorrowful country.

-"loyal to my sorrowful country," ted leo.

thanks cheryljill

will the rest of the world please come liberate us?

i have never felt more like a stranger in my own country.

i'd like to extend an apology to the other countries of the world for another four years of this horror show. i'm sorry. we tried.

and to those of you masochistic and moronic enough to have voted for the bastard, all i have to say is FUCK YOU. i hope those tax cuts are worth the blood on your hands.

if anyone needs me for revolt or riot, i'll be around.

only one thing matters today.

VOTE.

gives new meaning to "taking one for the team".

a friend's project.

[cackle]