tussin.

here's my deliciously masochistic recipe for how to make your experience of a shitty spring cold even more painful:

1. don't eat a single real meal during the day (note: half a cereal bar does not constitute a meal).
2. liberally dose yourself with echinacea and green tea extract. do not bother to read dosage directions and warnings.
3. drink a ton of fruit juice and -- hell, why not! -- several gallons of green tea. you can't overdose on green tea....right? REMEMBER NOT TO EAT!
4. take ibuprophen every 4 hours, because its just THAT GOOD FOR YOU... and quite gentle on the stomach, might i add.
5. I SAID NO EATING!!!
6. finally, add to the mix the maximum suggested dose of expectorant cough syrup (i bought the safeway brand precisely because it is labeled simply “Tussin.” as a result, i had some HILARIOUS hallucinations involving Chris Rock and excerpts from his “Never Scared” concert film). repeat X-TREME dosage every 4 hours, or until loss of consciousness occurs. dude.

now lie down and try not to tear your skin off because it feels as though a thousand tiny insects are crawling all over your body. who needs sleep when you're having THIS much fun?!?!

[i'm feeling better now, thanks.]

Comments

[Neckbone]

dude- I do OJ and bed rest.

[sweetney]

neckbone: coward.