its the end of the world as we know it, and i feel not-so-great.

my dear friend angela came over last night for some beer and sympathy, and we waxed unpoetic for many hours on the human condition and all of its manifestations (the internet, the economy -slash- capitalism, the political landscape, the environment, and so forth); needless to say, this was not a gleeful conversation. so humor me for a few minutes and let me get all chicken little on your ass, because in all honesty i'm not merely discouraged about the present state of things, but borderline terrified.

some of what i talked about here yesterday regarding people and their behavior on the internet seems to me a small symptom of a larger societal sickness, namely a magnification of the importance of the self, the individual, to the exclusion of all else, including but not limited to basic civility born of an intrinsic sense of the interconnectedness between all people. it appears that, in an elemental way, empathy is waning, being extinguished through the alienation inherent in late capitalism; unlike in past ages, we no longer have a direct connection to so many of the people who make our lives possible on a basic level -- those who produce our food, our clothing, the homes we live in and the cars we now drive -- which ultimately leads to a pervasive, overriding sense that its every man for himself. that we're not all in this together, working in an interdependent way to survive and prosper and raise families and such, but that we're each islands competing with one another for resources to do those things -- a perspective that necessitates an inflated sense of self-importance, an egocentrism that is corrosive to that sense of kindredness and compassion that has long been essential to the health and advancement of individual communities and thus society generally. but, under the present system, having a strong sense of empathy and feeling of fellowship for others could in fact be considered counterproductive to individual prosperity and health: if i truly see YOU as myself, and recognize the full value of your humanity as equal to mine, then how can i proceed in participating in a system that requires your subjugation? for example, how do i continue to function knowing that the clerk at the market who bags my groceries is making $5.15 an hour, living in squalor and selling plasma to supplement her income to merely survive? how do i buy those groceries, knowing that so many of those who participated in the harvesting and processing of most of the foodstuffs i buy and consume are in some way or other being horribly exploited in the process? and, in a broader sense, how do i continue to live not being constantly plagued by the inescapable knowledge of others suffering terribly all around me -- living in wage slavery, in sub-standard housing, in the addiction and abuse that is so pervasive among an underclass that has resigned itself to these things because truly there is no way out of them. in this light, do we wonder at the fact that a full 50% of the american population can be categorized as mentally ill under DSM-V criteria? i have felt this attendant depression and anxiety, this all-too-pressing knowledge of the wrongness of the world and the suffering in it closing in, and i'm sure many of you have as well. but those of us who think and feel these things are in the minority, and we are most certainly not the fittest among those in this prescribed “survival of the fittest.” because of the very structure of the system we all live in (loosely, late capitalism), we -- the empathetic, the humanistic, pick your term -- are the vestiges of a dead age, antique humans ill-equipped to thrive in this contemporary environment. those who can unflinchingly raise themselves above others, who value the accumulation of capital over the accumulation of (heh) karma, and who are willing and able to participate fully and self-servingly in all that the system demands are now and will continue to be in the future those in power and those who lead. knowing this, i struggle with the awareness that i am trying to raise M_ as thoughtful, empathetic, and with a strong sense of social justice. in other words -- in light of what i've said above -- i'm raising her to be a good, wise, but probably not terribly happy person (just like her mom! ha!). as the cliche goes, most parents -- myself included -- would agree that we want, above all else, for our children to be happy. but increasingly i feel sure i am raising M_ in a way that is probably detrimental to her in terms of her overall success in this life (again, as determined under the present system... and no, i don't believe the revolution is gonna come in our lifetime, so that's really all we have to work with), and most certainly to her future contentment and sense of security.

as if this weren't depressing enough, i feel fairly certain that there is a great deal of additional badness coming down the track, and more and more i fail to see how disaster can be averted. so much of the way things are now seems truly untenable, unsustainable in the long run, including the above described societal dysfunction (which i don't think will culM_te in the revolution coming, sadly, but rather in something akin to institutionalized and internalized libertarianism -- the ultimate dysfunction!). clearly, our economic system is on the verge of calamity. strap yourselves in folks, for this horseman of the apocalypse is rapidly beating a path to your door; in the next 6 months to a year i'd anticipate a catastrophic collapse of some kind, possibly resulting in a depression. we live presently in a country (i'd say “world”, but i know that's slightly overstating....but only slightly) led by persons (bush being merely a figurehead) lawless and destructive, willing to do whatever necessary to restrict social liberty and obtain resources. our global environment is quite literally on the verge of complete destruction -- in terms of global warming it seems increasingly likely that we've reached that point-of-no-return where even if we were to drastically limit CO2 emissions (which -- c'mon let's be honest here -- we're clearly NOT going to do, especially under this administration), we'd merely be delaying what is now inevitable. please note: i am not saying anything that isn't explicitly spelled out in innumerable well-respected scientific, economic and political reports. this is not news to any of you all, i'm sure. but we refuse (collectively) to really hear this, to truly listen and absorb the dire reality of our situation. why? because it isn't profitable? because it does not relate to our individual prosperity, at least in an immediate sense? because we have on some level just given up?

as i said, i am genuinely terrified by all of this. and though i feel less and less hope, i also want so very badly for someone articulate, sane and insightful to explain to me how in all of these things there *is* hope. i want to be convinced otherwise, yet it seems like an almost impossible task in the face of the real. i want not a best-case-scenario, because the best case never comes to fruition; i want a realistic, likely scenario under which we can collectively weather all of this and emerge intact. but i got nuthin'.

anyone?

Comments

[Kelly]

I would discuss this with you but I'm too busy crying...both from the sadness and beauty of this piece of writing. I'm tempted to print it out and post it behind my desk.

[Sally]

Wow. Zoloft does wonders for me, and Effexor. I'm half-serious, but honestly, I'm not trying to be trite, Tracey. I realize that I'm in this big machine of life in which I have little control. So I try to enjoy the company of others, and help where I can. My next-door neighbor is a huge negative nellie. When I was laid-off, I tried to improve her life; I took her out as much as possible, bought her things, and generally tried to be a good friend. Now I realize I can't change her pessimistic outlook, but I know I brighten her day because I'm her friend, I care about her, and I'll listen to her griping. That's all I can really do to help her. I don't know what to tell you...I don't have kids, so I can understand your burden of raising a strong child that still has your morals.

[Angela]

Negative Nellie here. You've already heard my take this morning, but here it is again, my official response to your final question: we keep lifting each other up and doing what we can to make sure that the people most - and most negatively - affected by the power imbalance don't completely slip through. If we can anticipate that life is going to get harder in the second Bush regime for prisoners, or workers, or teenage mamas, we figure out *how* and what we can do. We build strong communities and have backyard shows and help raise each other's daughters to be women who know their worth and know they are safe. We check in on each other and make sure we all feel loved and that nobody gets lonely.

It means we take on extra work, right? Because this "system" (that word makes me feel 17) tries to force us into loneliness. This is all very "all we need is love" of me, to be sure, but we just keep loving each other and finding our way together. I can't answer the question about raising kids in all of this, but I did fall asleep last night very secure in the knowledge that we'll all figure it out together, and that makes me feel a lot better about the journey.

[Sally]

Angela, you put it into words much better than I. I feel the same. :)

[andrea]

yeah.

And that is all I can say right now.

Just...yeah.

[mike]

Say please and thank you, apologize when you're wrong, and try not to judge others. And remember the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated. It's golden for a reason, you know. It's not going to stop global warming or the offshoring of American jobs or prevent the real estate bubble from bursting. It is, however, going to demonstrate to each and everyone you interact with, that you respect them as a person and value humanity. You're not likely to change the world, but you can influence it. Imagine if, during a typical day of yours, everyone you met cared enough to make you feel like an individual and not just one of the teeming horde. I'd imagine your outlook on the world would improve considerably. If your outlook on the world is good, chances are you'll be more likely to spread a little of that goodness around, yourself.

I know this all sounds like an e-mail someone would FWD to you with instructions to send it to 10 of your closest friends within 3 days and maybe with an ascii rose --,--`{@ or two, but I believe it. I'm not saying smile and take it. If something upsets you and you feel you need to speak or act on it, go for it. But I also believe that it's okay that you are not standing on the checkout conveyer protesting minimum wage policies. We are not islands, but we do have different priorities in life and must choose our battles. I think recommendations like those of Angela are powerfully effective at making a difference in life. Again, it's a bit overwhelming to try and change the world yourself, but it's very easy to influence it.

Without a kid of my own I daren't speak to the child-rearing concerns you had, but I will say that I tend to compliment parents of polite children.

[Angela]

Mike, YES to everything you said.

[carlo]

it is a Malthusian despair you describe. Malthus was this 18th century proto-economist who figured out that if the population kept growing at the current rate, all we could hope for in the future is famine and vicious war over dwindling resources...(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malthus)

i think it's ironic that those of us who feel the most despair about the world are also those who think the most about ways to change it...if my beliefs matched my conception of the world, which is highly critical and pessimistic, then i would be a total out-for-myself type of person. instead, i'm trying to develop faith in those ideas that have always appealed to me...intentional community, distributive justice, human rights, adherence to the principle of non-violence. a lot of days my depression falls like a cloud over me and i feel like just another self-deluded cog in the machine, but when i'm feeling good again i go back to embracing those beliefs...
carl

[michellene]

Yes yes yes

The only difference in my thinking is that I'm not really afraid of the crash. I'm looking forward to everything falling apart. It won't be easy, but shit...it's not like life is a basket of puppies and rainbows right now. This is why we live communally. This is why we are converting a truck to run on vegetable oil. This is why we are learning to everything from scratch. This is why I am so hardcore about creating a supportive and strong community.

You aren't alone.

[zenchick]

I find the best salve for when I feel this way is to go out and help other people. Seriously, not trying to be Pollyanna or anything...but actually DOING something about it, no matter how small, I find really helps my own energy, and in turn, the energy I put out there.
I would also recommend finding a community of like-minded people (synergy!), perhaps a spiritual community? It really gives meaning to everything, even things over which we have no control.
peace _/\_

[marie]

wow.. I'm just getting used to the parenting thing and all these issues are super-relevant.. I tend to agree with michellene, I'm kind of looking forward to things getting worse, because then they can only get better.

In 2008. When we elect Hillary. Yeah.

[Tarot by Harish]

I don't think things are nearly as bad as you think. We have it real good in this country, compared to the rest of the world. My wife is from a "Third World" country where (some) people really are poor. I wonder if you've ever been to a "Third World" country?

I think if you were to sit down and do a comparison, you'd find that more people are living longer lives, getting more food, and having access to more stuff than ever before in history. Yes, there still are poor out there, but are things as bad as they were in the 1930's? I would say not even close.

Just the fact that so many people have access to the 'net (at least in this country) says a lot.

Are you willing to put your money where your pixels are? I would bet that there will be no major catastrophe in the coming year. If at this time next year no man-made catastrophe has happened (say, involving the death of at least 1,000,000 people), then I win. Keep in mind that with a global population of around 5,000,000,000, even the death of a million people is a small percent.

[Lisa B-K]

I relate to everything everyone's saying above, but I relate to Michelle's comment most - it's pretty hard to face the realities, and it's even harder to understand and deal with our own complicities. The fact is, the way we live, though we are used to it and know little else, is unsustainable. It can't go on like this. It just can't.

That said, community, having a healthy skepticism where "experts" are concerned, and being willing to learn, IMO, are everything. If we can teach our kids how to Do Stuff (as well as learn alongside them) and find conviviality with our friends and, yes, our neighbors (oh, god! My neighbors!), that's going to be a lot of the battle.

I understand the urge to check out, and you should if it's getting to be too much, but make it temporary; come back with your sleeves rolled up.

xo

[Tarot by Harish]

Me again. I think I'd have to limit any serious bets to this country, the US of A, as figures for the rest of the world would be hard to verify.

I was willing to bet on the Y2K "catastrophe"- at that time, a LOT of people really thought that the world would end. However, none of the doomsayers was willing to make a public bet with me. There was one radio personality that said that the shit would hit the fan, and I publicly asked him to place a bet, and he wouldn't. I would've won that one!

[Angela]

I think it bears noting here that Sweetney is both keenly aware of the problems facing people all over the world and aware of the privileges of living in the US. I didn't get the impression in the discussion leading up to this post, the years I've known her leading up to that conversation, or in reading the post itself, that she was saying anything to contradict that notion.

[sweetney]

harish -- i lived in cairo during the mid 90s, so yes, i know what a 3rd world country is like first- hand.

i find your offers regarding betting disturbing, and if you go back and read what i've written you'll find that i never said anything to the effect that the world was going to end in the next year. i do believe our economy is in grave danger of collapsing in the next year, but such an event certainly doesn't involve a body count. in any case, i'd ask that you please not post again here with references to betting on anything regarding these matters. as the tone of my post suggests, i take all of this quite seriously, and to wager on such things seems more than a little... well, unseemly and macabre. thanks.

[sweetney]

i really want to thank everyone for responding, and for humoring/putting up with what amounts to my own little personal online nervous breakdown (heh). hearing everyone's thoughts and suggestions makes things seems somehow less grim; at the very least there are handfuls of us out there who are thinking about these things and trying to make small changes and efforts toward betterment... or at least not participating in the status quo. (for some reason or other here i think of those ribbon magnets people put on their cars -- "i support our troops" -- indicative of a kind of lemming mentality in some way, the lockstep sleepwalkers in their SUVs...) i agree about community and kindness and becoming more self sufficient and being very conscious of waste and energy use. these are principles i hold close and put into action daily -- which is not to say there isn't more i could do, of course. the next several years will be interesting no doubt, and i think will really help determine much of what we can expect from the future (and that it matters who is in the white house should now be abundently clear, even to those who would claim "they're all the same"). your words here give me a little hope that things may not be as bleak as they seem, for there must be more of us out there thinking these things and trying as we try. that means a lot. thank you.

[Beth]

I love this post! I have been thinking about it and going back to it. I am trying to figure out a way to tie a post of mine into this one. I love your online nervous breakdown. You are so articulate when you are upset. My only question, Are you sure Dave wasn't there with you and Angela? Are you?

We miss you already, by the way!

[zenchick]

p.s. check out:
http://www.truemajority.com/
http://www.afsc.org/
http://www.one.org/
http://www.idealist.org
http://www.moveon.org/front/
(low-maintenance, streamlined ways to find out about issues and have your voice heard)
See, equinimity: good uses for the internet :-)

[geeekgirl]

It scares me too. And the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that when the shit hits the fan I can step back and know that I lived my life thoughtfully and tried my darndest to not be apart of the destruction.

Does knowing that make you feel any better?

[Cara]

I keep coming back to this post to leave a comment, but the more I hold off, the longer the reply I'm writing in my head gets. I may post it on my blog when I have the time. I know the feeling, though. I just don't know if I trust it.