what was it i said about “the system” again?

last night i was catching up on mtv’s “meet the barkers”, and literally had to stop watching when they dropped everything (including a warhol they'd just bought) and left their (spacious, beauteous) estate -- without the kids of course, as they were being tended by a seemingly sweet and grandmotherly nanny -- to jet off to hawaii on a moments notice because the (perfectly coifed, rail-thin, stylin’) mother had off-handedly commented that she “needed a break from the kids.” i also heard one of them mention something about “90 minute massages.”

it was: turn off the television, or shoot myself in the face (multiple times, if that’s possible).

i fucking hate capitalism... but where can i get me some of that?

[insert sound of manic, high-pitched laughter mixed with sound of drowning-in-your-own-saliva gurgling]

gah.

Comments

[xlt]

You were asking for it! What are you doing watching MTV when you are over the age of 25?

[Beth]

Where was my nanny when Kyle completely lost his shit and WOULD NOT get out of the pool at swimming lessons tonight? Where was my nanny when Kyle continued to lose his shit after I dragged his strong little body out of the pool? Where? Oh wait, duh, I do not have a nanny. I do not get ninety minute massages. I do not jet off to exotic locales with Dave so that I can decompress.

Wait. Just a minute. I need to cool off. You can find me soaking my head in the toilet while simultaneously flushing it. I call that my deep-water massage. How's that for spa treatment?

[Malnurtured Snay]

My sister lives in Hawaii, and my cousin is moving out there shortly.

I keep myself calm by repeating to myself, "They live on a Volcano. They live on a Volcano..."