miscellany (or: ghosts, transvestite prostitutes and arterial spray, oh my!).

my daughter is begging me to let her drink my coffee. nothing but evil can come of this.

the doldrums continue. one tries to roll with the punches, not get clobbered.

last night i went over to claire's and got a detailed report on her apparent haunting, which i find fascinating. her townhome was built in the 1970s, so unless there was some sort of horrible avocado-colored home appliance incident early in its lifetime that resulted in the death of one or several inhabitants (the heft of one of those 70s-era fridges could easily take out two people...and a medium-sized pet of some kind), i can't account for her bizarre experiences. perhaps an indian burial ground, ala poltergeist, is somehow involved? You son of a bitch -- you left the bodies and you only moved the head stones. and because i can sincerely vouch for claire's sanity and integrity, i will never, ever be spending the night over at her accursed rental lair of demonic spirits. that one goes out with love from me to you, claire. yessiree.

i've been reading Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs, and have learned, among other things, that you can make a CRAPLOAD of money as a transvestite prostitute. so, you know, i'm considering my future job options. also -- not surprisingly -- the job of stay-at-home mom is perhaps the most unappealingly described of all the gigs (with the possible exception of the first-hand account by the guy who owned a crime-scene clean-up business... but then the atrocious sums of money people are willing to pay to have other people's innards removed from their homes and places of business seemed to temper any angst the dude felt about his profession). and let me say i identified with the woman in the SAHM piece more than i'd like to admit. does ANYONE feel competent in this job? is anyone out there doing this not just continually exhausted, filled with self-doubt and anxiety, and hanging by a thread of sanity? who are these “supermoms” who LOVE LOVE LOVE (insert girlish squealing) being at home with the kids? who think its so invigorating and fun-filled? do any of you personally KNOW these women? and what medication are they on, so i can get me some of that?

no, seriously. drugs are our friends, peoples.

so, in keeping with my historical series this week, i bring you a photo i like to call my super swingin' 60s parents (left) and Aunt (in red) with some dude who looks like he may hurt small animals and obsessively clean firearms in his spare time.

somebody get that dude some antipsychotic meds, stat. oh, and a new jacket. please.

Comments

[Sarah]

Duh, the "Supermoms" are liars.

[erika]

Is your mom giving the "thumb's up"? ;) I would avoid staying in a haunted house as well. My imagination is already too vivid.

[Dixie]

I'm diggin' on your mom's dress.

[Amanda]

i am reading gig too. it's amazing how much everyone's job sucks as much as mine! and really....who would have thought a transvestite hooker would earn enough to buy a house and RETIRE?? seriously...ive been prostituting myself out to the man for years and all i have to show for it is a thrift store couch and some old navy flip flops.

[kelly]

Hardest job I've ever had. Feels like my skill set shrinks by the day. My parachute? The color of *somebody please just strangle me with it already.*

[TitanKT]

I know a lady who LOVE, LOVE, LOVES being a SAHM. She has two boys and she is the most insanely happy person... she never, ever complains that she's bored or needs adult conversation or that her kids are acting like savages or she's frustrated with her husband. Without being uncharitable or assuming the worst, I guess she does have perfect children and a perfect husband. I mean, the depth of her enjoyment staying home with her two boys is simply incomprehensible to me and I AM the sort of person who would rather be home with my own babies. But she is a piece of work and sometimes, as much as I admire her ability to see EVERYTHING positively, I cannot relate to her even the tiniest bit. I find myself thinking, "What planet is she from anyway?"