links for 2005-11-30
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righteous!
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the web is 15 years old this month.
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GYWO, i [heart] you.
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November 2005
November 30, 2005
the day the sea came.
a powerful piece from sunday's NYT mag that has been haunting me, and is therefore deserving of its own post (as opposed to being shuffled in amongst delicious links).
go. read.
ps: also, the rockheals has been updated, with a fabulous bit on war rugs.
pps: in other reading material news: my current bedtime book RULZ.
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gettin' hitched retrospective.
i very randomly stumbled across a CD of wedding pictures today while rummaging in the attic. thus, behold 2001: a matrimonial odyssey (warp speed remix)...
whaaa...you mean that counted?
apparently something was funny. something other than rich's suit, that is.
hey rich! love ya', man!
here again i'm gaping like a fish -- this time during our first dance.
darling, have i mentioned the zombification to you? braaaaains....
drinkin' and smokin' post-game. the end.
no reason. just, you know, sharing.
ps: kind of sad to realize i'll never be that, well, young again -- you dig? squandered, dammit! squandered!
November 29, 2005
links for 2005-11-29
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welcome to my life.
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mmm-hmmm.
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must. buy. nabaztag.
a wee sip of getting-on-my-bad-side.
seriously, why do people have to constantly suck so hard?
sigh.
blackprinterinkbeard.
jamie taught M_ how to operate our printer (via her G4 CUBE, dogg. because that's how she rolls.). i know what you're thinking: uh-oh, BIG mistake. and in thinking that you'd be close, but in fact the reality of this acquisition of knowledge is more aligned with: AARRRGHHH! WHY GOD, WHY?!?!? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?!? AAAARRRGGEEEHHHAAAAGAH!!! [insert sound of choking on own vomit]
not only is there the constant pleading to print every goddamn Blue's Clues Preschool screen or screen variation she encounters, but then she goes ahead and turns the machine on and prints out things clandestinely regardless of what i say, so i'm constantly stumbling across multiple prints of the same black-and-white Blue's Clues coloring book pages -- which of course she never actually colors. yesterday i heard the faint hum of the printer coming from its location upstairs, and upon investigation discovered M_ had a full 16 pages cued up on the printer. she only got through printing page 3 before i stopped her, though. thank christ.
the people who make child-protective lock doo-hickies and those little plastic nubby electric socket insert thingies need to get down to the fucking lab and start working on some sort of device -- one that addresses the very real and serious issue of toddler printer pirates.
November 27, 2005
November 26, 2005
links for 2005-11-26
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run away!!!
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umm, DUH.
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again with the DUH.
November 24, 2005
November 23, 2005
happy thanksforimperialism day!
no, seriously, ya'll be well and happy and chow down until you have to loosen your belt, like grandpa.
and then nap like you have never napped before.
love and gobble-gobbles,
xo sweetney
dr. seuss: the gateway drug.
i just read M_ The Cat in the Hat for the first time ever (wipes sweat from brow), and in the wake of that feel as though i just mainlined some amphetamines or something. weird.
though now that i think about it, the cat really is something of a pusher -- coming to these kids when their mom is gone with his ahem 'fun funny games'. and thing one and thing two? clearly complete stoners (c'mon, kites in the house? and did you check out the dreads? i mean, really...). oh and the fish? a total square.
its like a tableau of players in the drug war. but, you know, for the kids.
November 22, 2005
sweetney's holiday shopping extravaganza 2005
last updated: 12/13 : 8pm
simply because i love, and because i'm here to help: offered below is a compendium of nifty stuff of which i approve for your holiday shopping pleasure and ease (by the by, i'm not a store, just a fellow product consumer). i'll be adding to this continually until late december, so bookmark the permalink now if you like what you see, as more of it is forthcoming as i get the time. enjoy!
NOTE: NEW(ish) ITEMS
HIGHLIGHTED
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SEASONAL:
holiday lights cookies
delicious and attractive.
neighborhoodies personalized stockings
this week only! jump on it, yo.
unusual cards
i wish i'd remembered this before i'd bought xmas cards for this year... someone PLEASE get these and send me one!
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CLOTHING:
threadless t-shirts
stylin threads, now on sale for $10!
andy warhol banana hoodie (kids)
M_ *so* needs this.
not an elf and ate my dreidel rompers (babies)
adorable and comfy.
tattoo t-shirt
says i love you - without the permanently seared flesh.
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ART:
steve keene paintings
fabulous paintings by the well-known NYC artist DIRT CHEAP. we have about 20 hanging in our household.
kozyndan shop
amazing (and inexpensive) prints.
stendig wall calendar
okay, so not technically art, but tis a design classic.
black and white warbler print
i have a thing for birds, you know.
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DVD:
naked
possibly my favorite film of all time. smart, funny, disturbing, thought-provoking, offensive and utterly enthralling. a mike leigh film.
the wire: season one
you think LOST is complex and smart? HA! behold the best season of the best show on tv, EVER. i jest not. indoctrinate everyone you know (but its a good kind of indoctrination... an indoctrination of LUV). you'll wonder why no one ever turned you on to this before.
heavy metal parking lot
i may weep from the awesomeness. you must know someone you have to give this to, right?
kung fu hustle
for your neice/nephew/friend into japanimation and bruce lee.
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BOOKS:
1. kids books:
polar bear night
an utterly gorgeous book of sleepy wintertime, suitable for snuggily bedtime reading.
kitten's first full moon
another beautiful bedtime book... with KITTIES!
mr. lunch takes a plane ride
as previously discussed here ad nauseum. best.kids.book.evah.
don't let the pigeon drive the bus!
seriously, that pigeon is out of control.
victorian doll house
its a book.. that pops up into a dollhouse. with, like, doors that open, and mirrors and furniture and shit. totally rad.
2. big people books:
the big rumpus
THE book for the cool mom (or mom-to-be) on your list. ayun halliday is the embodiment of the new millenium mama. word to yours.
the corner
nonfiction. an unflinching yet moving look at baltimore inner city life and those in the drug trade therein.
the corrections
hands-down my favorite novel of the past 10 years. utterly addictive, brilliant, hilarious and mind-blowing. buy it for you, if for no one else.
fraud
david rakoff is a funny mofo. think david sedaris on crack.
the throne of the third heaven of the nation's millennium general assembly
the collected poetry of denis johnson. i know, i know. you're all: poetry?!?! and i'm all: dude, this shit ROCKS! seriously, you'll laugh, you'll weep, you'll think poetry is rad.
the new yorker
what can i say about the best weekly mag in the whole wide world? every week i get something substantial and lasting from it... well worth investing in a subscription for yourself as well.
mcsweeney's
for your money, you can't beat a subscription to mcsweeney's. when the hype is finally over i'll still be thanking my lucky stars that we got in on that lifetime subscription back in the day.
get your war on
should be in everyone's library. david rees is my hero.
a short history of nearly everything
there's a reason why this has been a bestseller. in this case, its because its actually good. and by the way, did you know that Yellowstone park is a supervolcano set to blow and extinguish humanity? no, really.
how to survive a robot uprising
prepare yourself and those you love!
the government manual for new superheroes
so they can be more effective superheroes. because you love.
3. both:
cave-in
brian is a family friend, but i'd be recommending this regardless. beautiful, funny-yet-sad, its a classic for that friend of yours who wears dickies and is deeply into zines.
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CDs:
the shins - chutes too narrow
you cannot go wrong with this one. very close to a perfect album, if there is such a thing.
neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea
another top 5 of all-time favorite. think: the beatles circa sgt. pepper + palace brothers + elliott smith. in other words, think: RAD.
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OTHER STUFF:
shawnimals
yes, there's the pocket ninja.... but check out the splug, dude!
select seeds
i covet these... if you have a gardener to buy for, this is the place to go.
the carrotbox
fantastic plastic rings -- beautiful stuff (and easy on the wallet, yo).
demeter fragrances
why give stupid designer perfumes when you can get them Gin & Tonic, Leather or Angel Food?
timex retro flip clock
pimped here earlier... i want to smooch it, such is its beauty and fabulousness.
subversive cross stitch
i'm not one of you crafty types, but for those that are...
netflix
give a subscription to someone you really, really like. like, really, really.
HOLGA 120N
there's a small cult surrounding these HOLGA cameras... and i aim to get me one and find out what the fuss is about.
(apologies to mrs. kennedy).
tocca feu de touch candle
if you want to know what the best smell on earth is, this should provide you with the answer.
penguin humidifier
a penguin humidifier needs no tagline... its A PENGUIN HUMIDIFIER!!!
licorice piglets
pork without the accompanying unpleasant dead animal taste!
swallows bedding
on 300 thread-count sheets. YUM.
classic flashcards
whether you have a kid or not.
do not forget doorhanger
a simple idea whose time has come (at least for my husband it has).
pet tree - cactus
water once-a-month, enjoy daily.
demotivators 2006 wall calendar
give the gift of despair!
links for 2005-11-22
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no wonder i have difficulty managing my time.
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that's it, i'm going to a 100% lunchables diet.
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fun timewaster.
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praise hayzeus.
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good stuff there.
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also.
you must love me.
let me help you out with that holiday shopping, friend:
timex flip clock. $25ish. perhaps my best purchase this year.
[bows]
November 21, 2005
links for 2005-11-21
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dude cracks me up.
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people+toomuchtime-lives=catster.
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we're number 6! we're number 6!!!
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that would be, uhh, me.
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great article from yesterday's times mag
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whatta maroon.
“When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles.”
you're all just the sweetiest. thanks for the encouragement, understanding, and fellow feeling. it means more to me than you know.
this weekend i commenced with digging myself out of the cyberhole of my own creation (does anyone even use the term 'cyber' anymore? dude, that's like SO 1997!). my plan of attack thus far has included unsubscribing from, like, ten different email lists i'm on (which, now that i've reached the point of being desperate enough to be honest with myself, i haven't been reading or participating in for well over a year. SAYONARA, SUCKAS!), upping the spam filtering on ze blog (which may lead to the occasional unfortunate instance of valid comments being held back in comment purgatory until i approve them, but these are the sacrifices one must make in the name of sweet, sweet sanity), and designing an email filtering/filing system to help better organize and structure my e-crap. basically, i've made my online life into something resembling a nightmare of franklin covey-like efficiency... soon i'll be investing in those successories motivational posters, and talking about the power of a positive attitude (in truth, i'm much more aligned in both attitude and action with these, and in particular this, this, and this).
i've also decided to limit my online time to those moments existing wholly outside the M_verse, when she's at preschool or unconcious --- err, i mean asleep. all of these changes may seem ridiculously simple, but i've always been a little slow on the uptake, so it all feels somewhat revelatory.
okay, you can all stop laughing at me now.
November 18, 2005
“life is elsewhere.”*
after laying awake for an hour writing this post in my head, i've realized i might as well get up and type it all out. i've probably been needing to write this for a couple months now, but honestly haven't had the guts to put it all down, concrete-like. bear with me.
of late, some of my betters, who -- need i say it? -- i greatly admire and adore, have decided to take this whole blogging thing to another level, dedicating themselves to a greater extent to both their writing and audience. yet in the wake of the manifest commitment of others to this blogging thing, i feel more and more that i'm presently not up to the task of even maintaining sweetney, at least not in the fashion i have thus far. simply put, what was once an enjoyable pastime, then a downright obsession, more recently has felt like a burden. i have, frankly, felt a lot of anxiety about posting here lately (or, as the case may be, about not posting here lately), and -- most disturbingly -- i've become slowly conscious of living my actual, 3-D life through some sort of internet-related filter. meaning: 1) i find myself compulsively adhered to my computer, frequently to the detriment of all else (checking email and comments and blogs when i should be engaging with M_, for example), and 2) i've become aware that i am, more often then not, processing my experience -- both in the moment and in retrospect -- for consumption on the internet. thus i am never fully present in my life in a sense; constantly viewing the ins and outs of daily life through the lens of my blog, unable to simply live and enjoy living without hearing the constant drone of how will i present this on the internet? in my head. its become exhausting and unmanageable. and you deserve better. and i deserve better. and god knows my daughter deserves better.
i came to blogging -- first on livejournal, then here -- in search of real human connection. in that sense, the internet has been so very good to me: probably a good 90% of the people in my life who i consider true friends have been gleaned from my experience on the internet in one form or another. but lately i feel my e-life has become unwieldy, and that i'm connecting with no one as a result. the sheer amount of email i receive in a day fills me with dread, but even more dreadful is the fact that over the course of the past year i've gotten some genuinely heart-rending and humbling emails from people who've been moved in some way by something i've written here, or felt a real connection with me or my experience, and i've been unable to find the time to respond to them. and honestly, that kills me, and i'm forever feeling guilty about not being able to manage my time in such a way that i'm available to people (i should add here: available to both people in my “real” life as well as those existing strictly in my online one), and that fact alone has sucked a great deal of pleasure out of doing this. perhaps this is old fashioned of me, but i feel like i need to be a real person to anyone who feels compelled to contact me, and at present i just can't be that, and yet i just can't stop being bothered by it. and so we are at an impasse.
so you see, all of this has kind of conspired to make me reconsider what i'm doing here. and -- before people freak the fuck out -- NO, this is not a letter of farewell. i have no intention of ending what has, in the past, been a great source of entertainment, amusement and downright joy for me, and led to so many good things in my life. sweetney is important to me, let there be no doubt. but i do feel that i need to step back for a while and come to terms with the behemoth i've created and find a way to manage it so that i again feel the joy in it that i once felt. i need to achieve some sort of balance and appropriate proportion i have yet to grasp between my online life and my dimensional one -- suggestions and advice welcomed regarding that, by the way. in the short-term, however, i will likely be posting less as i try to get some perspective and find a way back to enjoying the internet as i once did. i hope to return full-force sooner rather than later, with my head back on straight and the kinks worked out. i hope ya'll will stick with me through this.
thanks in advance for your patience and understanding as i work through my shit here, peoples. and, as always -- and i probably don't say this enough -- thanks for reading.
November 17, 2005
links for 2005-11-17
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one step closer to google world doM_tion.
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MY EYES!!!
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Based on the poem "A Song on the End of the World" by Czeslaw Milosz.
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he has a fountain! and a rocketship!
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Flavors include: Broccoli Casserole, Smoked Salmon Paté , Turkey & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, and Pecan Pie. AND VOMIT.
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a little something for M_'s stocking this year...
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mmm...delicious brain...
LOST: its like falling in love all over again.
that ana lucia sure is one tough cookie.
[squee!!]
November 16, 2005
links for 2005-11-16
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thanks to amanda for hooking me up (again).
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i'm just posting this to make angela smile.
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priceless.
futurecast: 9 weeks from now.
tickets have been purchased to fly here.
during this month.
to visit these of our peoples.
and to catch some of this.
and maybe some of this and this, but please god not this.
but i'd bet on lots of this, and the resultant this.
woot!
wholly unrelated ps: regarding a certain toddler's epic naughtiness of yesterday: yet another ear infection. of course. how could i have been so stupid?
November 15, 2005
wherein i become a caricature of my parents, much to my horror.
today is not a good day to be M_'s mother.
this morning we went to the maryland science center, which has a preschool “storytime” (yes, quote-unquote; it mostly consisted of a pimply teenager who vaguely resembled anne hathaway pre-makeover in the princess diaries dispensing a rather harrowing account of the insidious and pervasive nature of germs and disease while proffering goofy flashcards of cartoon microbes fashioned to resemble a hammer (for the poundy “headache germ”) or an enormous mutant ear (for the “earache germ”)... i can't decide if i was more disturbed by the undercurrent of germ hysteria and its being inflicted on defenseless toddlers or by the horrible charade that this was science). after surviving this we wandered around the exhibits for a good hour -- or rather I wandered; M_ bounced wildly, sprinted, and/or careened through the place like a meth-addled squirrel. yet -- and here's where the badness begins to creep in -- all good thing must end, if only because mommy only had $2 in quarters to put in a meter that doled out a paltry 15 minutes per (and so, if you think about it, the blame for our premature leavetaking really rests with the parking authority. those heartless motherfuckers.). my hand thusly forced, i began the slow process of easing M_ toward the exit, all the while trying to warm her to the idea (at home you can have pizza for lunch! and play with your viewmaster! and snort a few lines of fun dip! (okay so that last bit might be a tad excessive)).... that is until she hurled herself to the floor and began shrieking “I CAN'T GO HOME!” over and over and over again.
at first i tried to talk her down, uttering in my calm, friendly mommy voice reassurances that we'd be coming back next week... that this was a temporary parting with our beloved science center... that the science center would always be with us, in our hearts, forever... but my words only seemed to generate an increase in shriek volume and intensity, as she tried to drown out calm friendly mommy with MEGA-XTREME pissed off M_. people turned from their interactive scientific explorations and silently stared. it was all very distinctly not good.
and this is about when things began to spiral out, and when i started to become The Parent No One Wants To Be. you know what i'm talking about -- the one you see very nearly dragging his or her screaming, flailing child from a public settting, breathlessly muttering cliched threats to the offending child a la “you stop this now, or we're never going anywhere ever again!” -- the one you feel a complex mixture of pity and contempt for, imagining yourself somehow above such public spectacle-making (and i say that to the childless reading this; any of you with kids know the sad truth). yes, that was me today. i was the bad parent. the bad parent with the brat. in fact, i came *this close* to allowing that time-worn old school ultimatum -- “you want something to cry about? i'll give you something to cry about!” -- to pass through my lips. but alas, my heart just wasn't in it.
instead i simply shamed her relentlessly during the whole car ride home: “we do not act this way! that was very bad! if you behave this way we're never going back! you were a very bad girl!” etc., though in my defense i'm 95% positive she heard nary a word, what with her incessant hysterical whining, wailing, groaning and screeching sort of blotting my voice out within the car's echo chamber-like configuration. when we reached home and the tantrum continued unabated, i then pulled out the famous “straight to bed without a meal” maneuver, as seen in the classic film mommy dearest (or was that the “you're never going to bed again until you eat that meal” maneuver? i always get those confused...). dear god, its like i'm standing on the shoulders of giants!
and so in conclusion, to sum up: i feel horrible and exhausted and like an enormous flaming failure. AND i have a headache.
somebody fix me up one of melissa's momtinis, i'm going DOWN.
November 14, 2005
links for 2005-11-14
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aye, matey.
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a must-read.
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wait, so does this mean i DON'T rule?
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interwesting.
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re: (sniff) the cancellation...
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children's christmas letters to christopher walken
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yep, pitchfork is jumping on the bandwagon too.
i hope it stays dark forever, i hope the worst isn't over.
so i went to the doctor YET AGAIN this morning, and we all know how much i love going to the doctors. its a like a mini vacation or something... A VACATION IN THE DARK, FIERY PIT OF HELL. anyhow, the reason for this visit relates to my recent ear infection -- namely that while on antibiotics for that, a myriad other unrelated gastrointestinal issues i've had for a long time completely abated. backstory: for the past couple of years i've had what i now recognize as symptoms of an ulcer -- burning, gnawing stomach pain relieved only by eating or taking antacids -- which previous doctors misdiagnosed or ignored. because doctors are ASSY, my friends. but while on antibiotics last week, i felt better to an almost ridiculous degree. i felt not only that these stomach problems were miraculously gone, but also that a fog of lethargy and fatigue lifted... its that whole you-don't-know-how-sick-you-really-are-until-you're-well thing. so yes, i again braved a most dreaded and foul doctor's visit, emerging from the trial with... well, not much, honestly: a few weeks worth of prescription antacid and a form directing me to get some blood work done to test for ulcer-causing bacteria. better still, i actually cried when the doctor told me he wasn't just going to whip out his prescription tablet and load me up on the antibiotics (embarrassing as it was, at least it was that silent, tear-trickling sort of crying, not the sniffling, sobbing and heaving sort of crying), and you know that there's nothing better than the awkward physician pat of condolence -- i live for that shit, man. so yeah, i'm fairly bummed. all of this means i have to not only live with my roiling, painful gut a little bit longer, but that i also have to go to a stupid lab and get stupid blood drawn -- an excursion positioned just one tier lower than going to the doctor's on tracey's most hated things to do list. sigh.
i did manage to score a flu shot out of this whole ordeal, though. so while you're all feverish and bedridden this winter with the flu, i'll be all impervious and shit over here... though of course clutching my stomach and vomiting blood. but still.
November 12, 2005
get away from him, you bitch!
christ, when will you people realize that he's MY imaginary boyfriend and back the hell off?!?!
ps: oh my god there's fan fiction!!!
November 11, 2005
links for 2005-11-11
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hereafter i'll be washing my hands obsessively and sneezing and coughing into my armpit.
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ummm...okay...
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because i love.
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yummy.
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i'm a cheap mofo.
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i think i'm gonna hurl.
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noooooooo!!!!!!!!
November 10, 2005
its like i live in some kind of alternate reality or something.
today -- swear to Gandhi -- i saw a beat-up, rusted-out baby blue mid-80s ford escort with SPINNER RIMS.
what the hell is wrong with you people?!?
by the by, jamie just came home, sat down on the couch next to me, and handed me TWO of these:
(yes, its a POCKET NINJA.)
and yes, i did swoon a little.
links for 2005-11-10
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the new video. i feel, i dunno, sea sick...
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helping me to engage value-added web-readiness. cough.
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i wish i could find some way to implement this at home with M_, but alas, i can't threaten to fire her.
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today's kids evaluate the games of Gen X's youth. the little shits.
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i am *so* all over this.
help wanted.
from a friend working at this local publication:
Urbanite, a locally focused, full color magazine in Baltimore seeks an
Executive Editor. Responsibilities include managing editorial
departments, concepting and assigning stories, managing freelance
writers, editing, writing, and generally assisting the Editor in
Chief. Candidate must have experience in editing, preferably for a
magazine.
SO. clearly this is an opportunity for those of you not in my hood to move here, to the Greatest CIty in America, and become my BFF. what more could you possibly ask for?
more job details and info after the jump for those interested...
RE: tonight's LOST.
OH.SHIT.
November 09, 2005
getting my geek on.
a little birdie (a sparrow, in fact... amanda sparrow!) directed me to this fine New York Times product:
just so you can begin, as you should, getting all hyped up about tonight's new (and apparently deadly) episode.
huzzah, fellow nerd.
links for 2005-11-09
halloween costumes w/strongbad's commentary
mmm... southern crunk bbq....
the baltimore fire museum: an unqualified flop.
these preschool trips are going to kill me. or at the very least my will to live. a bounty of photos after the jump...
[oh yeah, and the flash-meets-reflective-garb effect gets real old real fast...]
Continue reading "the baltimore fire museum: an unqualified flop." »
the baby review.
“...your source for informed, insightful evaluations of recently disgorged humanity.” from 4-week-old baby Madison's review:
“To be blunt, spending a recent afternoon with Madison and her father, whom I used to call friend, was to watch a once vibrant (if flawed) man slowly decay and putrefy before my very eyes. Honestly, how he could be so enamored by this child’s tired, clichéd charms simply boggles the sophisticated mind!”
and i need to get me some of that 'pedia calm' advertised on the site... FOR ME, natch.
[via chickenhead.]
she's kind of like billy bob thornton's character in “sling blade”... meaning, you know, retarded.
so i just endured watched the season finale of My Fair Brady... because, yes, i like pain... and i have to say that as irritating as she so clearly is, that adrienne chick is so guilelessly simple-minded that i can't help but find her ever-so-slightly endearing.
which isn't so say i wouldn't punch her in the face if given the chance. or, say, let loose a pack of wild, rabid attack ferrets in her bedroom late at night. because i've seriously considered it, believe me. noM_l winsomeness only gets one so far here in sweetneyland.
November 08, 2005
Rorschach test.
a. what song lyrics are stuck in your head right now?
b. (optional:) what significance/meaning do you ascribe to them relative to your present life (if any)?
maybe she's color blind.
M_'s Camptoallosaurus (created during a trip to the very rad Maryland Science Center):
i love the little lady, but that thing is fucking HEINOUS.
November 07, 2005
from broken things.
i'm obsessed with mosaics -- the process, the product... i've been buying craploads of old dishes, antique tile and stained glass, for weeks. i've been trolling ebay daily, looking for materials. i spent a good hour yesterday, safety glasses on (because, you know, safety first), installed in the basement, hitting ceramics and glass with a hammer. i purchased tile nippers, for crissakes.
and i have yet to even begin to make a single thing.
paralysis, anyone?
links for 2005-11-07
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now THAT'S dedication, people
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hey, remember these? feel the love.
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a compendium of select internet moments in history. umm, so far.
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will someone please PUNCH HER IN THE FACE now?
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over at myspace... yipee!
November 05, 2005
November 04, 2005
doing my small part to help drive humanity toward the inevitable antibiotic-resistant bacterial apocalypse.
i've been running around all morning trying to get our house back into shape after a good week and a half without doing any sort of cleaning whatsoever because of my crippling bout with the pestilence. and, as anyone with a toddler, three cats, a demented pug, and a cleaning-disabled partner knows (anyone? helloooo?), under those circumstances a week and a half without cleaning is tantamount to sending out an all-points-bulletin to the world of disease and filth: please, come nest in our home and slather yourselves upon every surface! we never close! let the unbridled festering and putrescence begin! WOOO-HOOO!!!
so i've been walking around with a spray-bottle of bleach all morning, and as a result can no longer smell or taste anything... that doesn't smell or taste like bleach, that is. in any case, i finally feel like doing things again, things other than laying on the couch, laying on the bed, reclining in the easy chair, etcetera. and the reason for this rapid recovery is, well, that i conned my doctor into calling in a prescription for antibiotics for me yesterday, without actually having to go to the doctor. i eliM_ted the middle-man, in effect. and while i'm kind of perversely proud of my persuasive powers, and know that i was indeed nursing an ear infection and was therefore in need of said drugs (i'm not a doctor, but i play one in my mind), i also know that this transaction was, in the grander scope of things, PURE UNMITIGATED EVIL. i've heard in about 15 years all the known antibiotics in our arsenal will be useless against the mutant superbacteria we're aiding and abetting through our overuse of them, but with delicate flowers like myself gulping antibiotics down with abandon because we essentially weren't meant to survive and reproduce, i'd say we can safely cut that figure in half. i know, i know: I SO RULE.
all of this of course means that in less than a decade i'm shit out of luck (as my father would say), and will be forced to add those attractive white paper air filter masks and surgical gloves to my daily wardrobe. but like the good american that i am, in the meantime i'm gonna throw caution to the wind and live in The Now, man. load me up with more antibacterial soaps and purell, motherfuckers! I'M INVINCIBLE!!!
okay, well, maybe a little vincible. sniff.
links for 2005-11-04
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because i'm a total geek: ""This special edition of The Transmission brings you the LOST Panel from the Hawaii International Film Festival, featuring select cast and crew from the ABC series."
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a very cool idea; if i was teaching i'd be all over this.
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because anderson cooper is just THAT dreamy.
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awesome wallpaper & icons
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ahem. gift idea for sweetney. ahem. cough.
November 03, 2005
come in, pull up a chair, and share with me my blog fangirl moment, won't you?
i'm thinking about having 11.3.05 tattooed on my right upper arm... delicate script numbers, of course... perhaps encircled by a wreath of flowers, with tiny birds flitting around the numbers... or do you think that might look, you know, cheap?
anyway, just so we're clear about what a complete and utter dork i am. i know i should be cooler about this (or at least pretend to be cooler), but i'm just plain not all that cool, and i'm really really bad at pretending to be anything i'm not.
okay, i'm done. thanks for humoring me.
links for 2005-11-03
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so can we please all CALM THE FUCK DOWN NOW?
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perhaps its sick of me to say this, but considering the number at pole #69 vs. all others, think this may have been a final joke for some of these people? okay, i hate me too now. i'm sorry.
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oh my god, these are RAD.
sung to the tune “theme from jaws”
i was just over at styrofoamkitty reading C's post about blogging having jumped the shark (a term which makes me giggle each and every time i *think* it, let alone read it), and i gotta say i'm inclined to agree that, in its present form, The Blog is in a death spiral -- at least as far as its presence as a pop culture phenomenon is concerned. it seems to me that late last year/early this year there was a huge spike in interest in blogging; all manner of media were showering blogdom with attention, everyone and their brother was starting one up, and those of us who were already in the game were deeply (and in some cases, pathologically) engaged in the practice.
but lately i've noticed... well, a waning. some might even say a backlash. many folks i've been reading for a while have either quit blogging outright or dropped off in their posting frequency significantly in the past 6 months. some have gone through something akin to a blog identity crisis (why am i doing this? what is this for? why should anyone care what i think? etc.), some got bored, some became disenchanted once the form was popularized.
i guess all of this is to be expected. but as public opinion and fancy is a fickle and ever-shifting wench, so too is technology, and i'll be interested to see how all of this plays out and what comes next. soon, i'd wager, the number of blogs created daily will dwindle.. but then what? the form itself will likely make some sort of leap -- one we can't yet foresee, just as a few short years ago no one really anticipated the blogging boom.
anyway, just thinking out loud. i hope i'll be around to see what happens.
its not even 8am, and i'm already irritated and frothing.
is there really some sort of brouhaha going on around this here interweb regarding dooce's new design/layout? peoples need to get themselves some LIVES, man. and how can anyone be so mean-spirited as to begrudge her the opportunity to make a living off her site? when i read terms like “sell-out” in reference to what she's doing i just want to claw my way through my computer screen and slap some motherfuckers around. what are you, in 9th grade? seriously, grow the fuck up and stop just intentionally being an dumbass as though it somehow makes you superior. it doesn't. in fact, your droning on about “selling out” just reveals how simple-minded and unsophisticated your thinking is regarding economics and power and work. getting paid for labor -- creative or not -- is a cornerstone of how the society in which we all live functions. when you go to work, you're selling the fuck out. and to say that creative work is somehow different is to in fact demean and devalue it and those who create it within our society. news flash: we live in a capitalist system, and the revolution isn't coming any time soon, che. get over it and shut the hell up.
a local friend of ours, seth, makes an honest-to-god living as a painter. this summer he sold paintings for thousands of dollars, and we -- as friends, getting the friend discount -- spent several hundred dollars on a couple of his works. they are gorgeous and exciting and he deserves money for the time and energy he put into them. and, because he is talented, people are clamoring to throw money at him for his work. all things considered, i cannot for the life of me draw a firm and tenable distinction between seth's situation and heather's with dooce. and, unless you believe that no writer, artist or musician can accept payment for their work without being instantly transformed into a whore (which, by the by, means YOU'RE INSANE, and that you probably still live at home with your parents), splitting hairs about the matter seems more sour grapes than anything else. and so again i'm brought to: get over it and shut the hell up.
sigh. when will the world wake up and realize that *i* know what's right, and stop disagreeing with me? bastards.
November 02, 2005
minutiae of the day.
-- M_ has decided that i look like woodstock, the bird from peanuts cartoons. i have no idea what this is about, nor do i see any likeness, but she's very insistent about it [pointing to sticker of said cartoon bird that she got at preschool:] “look! its mommy! mommy, its you!! look!!!”
umm, weirdness.
-- jamie, the best husband ever, brought home a couple get-well-soon gifts for me this evening: truman capote's in cold blood (which i've of course been wanting to read forever, as it combines two of my favorite things in the universe: literate, smartass gay men and true crime), and two pastries from some fancyshmantzy bakery joint in dupont circle (some sort of pear-laden pastry and a chocolate cakey one. mmm.....forbidden pastries...). jamie so rulz.
-- i had my very first random instance of being recognized in public for le sweetney today. while in line at the grocery store, no less. and my immediate thought was: oh my god, i hope this person doesn't see the complete crap i'm buying (okay, i did put the box of gingerbreadman cookies back, but still, preprocessed convenience foodstuffs comprised the bulk of our spread on the little grocery store conveyor belt thingy. internet, i am lazy and probably somewhat vitamin deficient. do you still love me?).
-- if i have to listen to tyra banks say the increasingly cringeworthy word “fierce” one more time i'm going to have to fiercely throttle her boney supermodel ass. oh, and p.s., will someone please inform ms. banks that she is NOT oprah? having a talk show and ceaselessly professing yourself to be just one of the girls, yo, does not an oprah make. no, you also need a lifelong weight problem and a quadrillion fucking dollars. and a publishing empire. and a very real shot at the presidency (if you wanted it, of course. but why would you want to deal with all that bureaucracy when you could just BUY change?). so check yourself, skeletor.
-- if you're anything like me (meaning if you're, uhh, depressive and anxiety-ridden), you might wanna check this out.
links for 2005-11-02
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up next: the jenny holzer style guide (please?)
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the better part of me thinks this is more lame than funny, but my love for bob ross is such that i must shout out
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wink-wink to my old MSU peeps
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"If zombies were to arrive in the city tomorrow, we'd all be roaming the earth in search of human brains by Friday." [because i'd forgotten that The Onion is funny as shit.]
rockheals update.
imbued with minty freshness.
i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me.
i somehow managed to dismantle my alarm clock while still asleep this morning and so woke up at 9am in a panic, since M_'s preschool begins at 9am and holy fuck do i need M_ to go to preschool today. picture in your mind me then springing to life and frantically whirling around the house tasmanian devil style, whipping things into shapes necessary to our departure, destination: almighty, life-giving two-and-a-half-hour preschool. M_ hardly knew what had hit her, and she was out the door before she could ask.
this beginning doesn't bode well. and have i yet mentioned that my sinuses feel as though sinister elves visited me in the night, packing my head full of concrete?
on the brightside, this was one of the first things i read this morning. thanks, merlin.
some of us fire with our mouths open, amazed, firing.
its almost as if i woke up today hell-bent on self-immolation. ever wake up in the morning and find yourself from moment one just careening wildly down a path of self-destruction for no discernible reason? oh -- and you're not in your teens or early 20s? and so its kind of shocking, kind of sad, and yet oddly expected -- as with the inevitable visit from that distant fucked-up relative you haven't seen in a few years, the one you just knew would show up unannounced on your doorstep one of these days, chain-smoking unfiltered marlboro reds, rumpled and smelling of sea salt and vinegar, mumbling about just needing a couple bucks, just a couple, man. and the fuck-up bearing bad tidings is all about the laying low: today i am somehow inexplicably sick all over again; having thought i'd gotten past the worst of it, i now find myself digging into new dregs of physical exhaustion and replaying the chronological catalog of symptoms as they emerged last week. i have re-infested myself. clearly i hate my guts.
nothing to do but go to sleep, wishing for better luck tomorrow.
November 01, 2005
links for 2005-11-01
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Simple to use, yet extremely effective, these morphing images are designed to transform when you change your position. When your unsuspecting guests walk past them they will see these seemingly normal "relatives" change into hideously frightening creature
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pardon me while i go GOUGE MY EYES OUT
spam or coded edicts from our alien overlords: you decide.
jamie seems to think this rather ummm odd email i received is some sort of spam, but i'm unconvinced.
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Hi, I'm Tracey.
I'm an imperfect Gen-X Parental Unit from Baltimore.