the baltimore fire museum: an unqualified flop.

these preschool trips are going to kill me. or at the very least my will to live. a bounty of photos after the jump...

[oh yeah, and the flash-meets-reflective-garb effect gets real old real fast...]

in the car on the way there this morning i realized i have no neck. and that i probably shouldn't be taking photos while commanding a ton of metal hurtling through space.

after we arrived they shoved us, like cattle, into a kid-centric room (lots of big shiny red trucks, toys, and a widescreen tv upon which we viewed an informational video on what children should do if their home suddenly bursts into flames, presented in song, by a hysterical cartoon fire engine (“NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER GO BACK INSIDE!!!”)). aroundabout this time, one by one, the children began speaking in tongues and gnawing on the soon-to-be-bloody-stumps that once were their hands.

then we forced them to wear heavy fireproof clothing and walk around in boots that were about 15 sizes too big. as you can tell from this picture, they were THRILLED.

hey fine lady, check out my sweeeet ride... okay, so this part was kind of cool.

until other kids started blowing the INCREDIBLY LOUD horn on the fire engine mercilessly. this (below) is pretty much how M_ looked the remainder of the time we were there -- which wasn't long, because she's a delicate flower and started whining and begging me to take her home once it was clear that the infernal noise would not stop. she's such an OLD LADY. sheesh.

what did i tell you?

IN MY PANTS!!!


“mommy, why does Spot the Firedog keep whispering to me that i should CRUSH THEM ALL?”

taken moments before we fled, heading to...

PIER ONE! which, while not educational in the strictest sense, does have many stylish and affordable home furnishing options.... upon which to jump up and down like a coked-out monkey.


then we went to trader joes, bought stuff, got a balloon, and went home. finis. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Comments

[joy]

"in my pants!" you rock sweetney! but not as much as M_ in those threads. remind me to send you the retarded pics of me taking jack to the wiggles. shocking.

[Neckbone]

"...upon which to jump up and down like a coked-out monkey."

Buahahahahaha!

[Amy]

You don't realize how important Trader Joe's is in your life until you move away from one. Ditto for good, fresh burritos.

And careful with the preschool pics. . .

[andrea]

hilarious... (you always make me laugh and I thank you for this)

though not sure it compares to my fifth grade field trip to a FUNERAL HOME.

[sweetney]

amy: EEK. i do remember melissa going through that whole thing... and while i know at least two parents from our preschool read this here blog thingy, at least on occasion, i don't think i have any pictures of them here.

and, well, what people don't know can't hurt em'. so says i.

and anyway, c'mon! people need to calm the fuck down about crap like that. so what if your kid (your *unnamed and unreferenced kid*, might i add) is vaguely in profile in the background of one of my pics? WHY DO YOU PEOPLE (AND YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHO YOU ARE) HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING???? you must chill! YOU MUST CHILL!

[Meghan]

I also like the coked up monkey speak. My child us a budding coked up primate. Your girl is so cute I can hardly stand it. I mean it. She is adorable.