Sweetney

TV: Good For Kids... Or GREAT For Kids?

[snort]

Well this seems to be The Hot Topic of the day, having first read and commented on this thread over at BlogHer this morning, and then Heather's post this afternoon.

Though my comment on the BlogHer post sort of summarizes my general thoughts on the matter, let me just add (in my patented sweeping generalizationish manner) that I HEREBY RENOUNCE THE OBSESSING-ABOUT-MY-PARENTING-AND-STRIVING- TOWARD-SOME-IMAGINED-MATERNAL-PERFECTION-THAT-
WILL-PRODUCE-SUPEROFFSPRING THING. Though I've never been thoroughly consumed by it, I think there's much about the general climate of present parentdom and what is commonly thought of as “good parenting” right now that is right well fucked up. Listen, everyone just needs to calm the fuck down, okay? A little TV, a little artificial flavoring and coloring, a little stern-talking-to, or a lack of thoroughly enriching edumacational* activities to do every freaking day IS NOT, I repeat, NOT going to make a whit of difference in the development of your child in the long run. The people who've been filling our heads with this nonsense are hysterics, and most are, you might notice, making a pretty penny off spreading said nonsense. In any case, they are off their meds as far as I'm concerned, and we need to stop listening to that shit and start listening to our guts and our instincts and our fucking common sense.

Who's with me? And of those of you who're with me, which of you is bringing the pitcher of martinis for the playgroup?

....................
*Okay, I'm officially not allowed to use this word again for at least a month.

Roses Love The Global Warming.

More carbon dioxide? LOVE. IT.

This year the rosebush in our front garden dang near lost its mind. Any day now I'm anticipating that it will sprout leg and arm-like appendages, and begin skulking about our yard in search of my hidden stash of Miracle Grow.

At a distance it looks somewhat unassuming...

Pretty, right? Sure, but...

IT IS FRICKIN' GINORMOUS. FRIGHTENINGLY SO.

And it certainly wasn't like this last year. Which makes me think that perhaps it is sliding up the evolutionary scale somehow, preparing the stage for some sort of plant revolution. BEWARE, HUMANOID EARTHLINGS.

Beautiful? Yes. But DEADLY.

Regrets? I've Had A Few.

What about yourself, hmmm?

[courtesy of our dinosaur-wielding friends at qwantz]

PS: If you haven't been keeping up with Jinkies!, you're missin' out, dude.

Hot Hot Heat.

So what's with this all-of-a-sudden-being-summer shit? Wasn't it just, like, a week ago that I was wearing long-sleeved garb and propping open the oven door after Jamie did some of that cooking-type stuff (clearly I am not skilled in the culinary arts), just to bask in waves of residual frozen-pizza-scented heat? Internet, I ask you (as I could only ask you the following), WTF?!

Its 90 degrees here in Charm City today (but, as the weather channel so unhelpfully points out, it “feels like 93!”), sticky-muggy, and our family was OF COURSE caught ill-prepared for this sudden temperature shift. You see, because our house is a gazillion years old* we have but a few measly window air conditioning units to shore against our sweltering ruin, all of which are still piled up in some far corner of the attic, which is itself about a quadrillion degrees** right now. Its a virtual inferno up there, man. And where is my goddamn husband -- he of moving heavy things fame -- when I need him to, uhh, move some heavy things? Oh that's right, he's chilling his ass in an air conditioned office. Its probably so nice and crisp and cool there that he and his coworkers have adorable little knit cardigans and such draped over their chairs, easily accessible to them just in case it gets a might bit too nippy.

Stupid cardigan-wearing bastards.

One summer when I was in graduate school, my then boyfriend and I became so fed up with that year's seemingly endless heat-wave that we actually went to see the movie Twister in the theater, just to escape our sweltering living spaces for a time. It was, in a word, unbearable. I mean the film, of course. And as I walked from the theater $5 lighter but heavily burdened with unspeakable knowledge of Bill Paxton's hair (if you can call it that), I realized a hard lesson in the repercussions of poor judgment: sometimes the lesser of two evils, well, isn't.

Which is basically just a long way of saying: I'm going to sit right here in a rapidly expanding pool of my own sweat and whine pitifully until Jamie gets home and bestows upon our household life-giving climate control. Wah.

Seacrest OUT!

PS: Completely unrelated link to funny bit about Lost's 3rd season, supposedly penned by the show's head writer.

..............................
*estimate only.
**ditto that.

A Good Time Was Had By All.

For your viewing pleasure, new photos over on yonder flickr from this weekend's first Rock-n-Romp of the season.

[The Materials]

A Dude With So Many Opinions Should Have His Own Website, Just For Them!

It will REVOLUTIONIZE the internet!

Yeah, I pretty much hate my guts.

Because You Need More Crap To Buy.

Specifically this crap.

Its A Jungle Out There. No, Seriously.

So I'm freaking out a little bit, because tomorrow is the first RnR show of the season, and I have such a massive amount of stuff to do that its sort of paralyzing. Take the backyard, for instance:

Its like the Amazon Rainforest out there, and I have to somehow whip it into serviceable shape today. I went back there briefly this morning to scope things out, and -- interspersed among actual flowers, plants and ornamental grasses -- there are weeds growing that are taller than M_. All told, the weeds may actually outnumber the intentionally planted foliage.

You're royally screwed, lady.

Today should be, uhh interesting [shoots self in face].

links for 2006-05-25

• Rules of the Internet - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  hilarious!
  (tags: humor internet)
• Quotations about the Internet
  Oh, WOW.
  (tags: internet quotes)
• Crooks and Liars: Tom Delay uses Colbert to try and raise money
  file under: D'oh!
  (tags: politics colbert humor)

You Have To Read This.

If you are a mother, or if you care about mothers, or if you think you may some day be a mother (or a father!), you NEED to read this.

But that's just a taste. I'm currently reading Perfect Madness, and I've dogeared so many pages the book may well reconfigure itself into a pentagon-shape. I'm only through the second section of the book, and am having so many “EUREKA!” moments of self-recogniton and epiphanies and such that I only wish I could scan the entire book and post it here for you. Seriously. This is big, big stuff. I HIGHLY recommend getting the whole book. HIGHLY.

Now I know what I'll be talking about at BlogHer.

Happy Towel Day, Now With Extra Brain Melt.

Today I carry a towel only in my mind.

I forgot to mention earlier that today, the day I jump ship on Effexor and head to what I hope are greener pharmacological pastures, is essentially also a rapid forced detox day: I did not take a dose yesterday, which means that as of tonight (when I start the new medication) I'll be going on 48 hours sans psych meds. I'm doing this under doctors orders -- apparently I need to clean the old drug out of my system before starting the new one (thankfully Effexor has an extremely short half-life, so simply waiting until this evening before ingesting new meds should do it). A few detox effects I've noticed:

Make A Joyful Noise Here.

Does anyone know anything about this Danielson Familie movie?! Anyone that was at SXSW see it?!

?! And, furthermore, ?!

I saw them back in the late 90s at some point. They were bizarre and amazing. I still have that CD around here, somewhere...

?!?!

For Your Addiction.

Get a cool tshirt, and in the process donate $5 to the American Red Cross. Its a win-win, man!

ps: I am SO getting this one, too (zoom to read text).

Lost Geekery.

Lost action figures coming, Fall 2006!

“McFarlane Toys' Lost Series 1 captures six fan-favorite characters from the series' first season: Jack, Kate, Locke, Hurley, Charlie and Shannon.”

Umm... Shannon? Dude, what about Sawyer?! DUH!

Anyway, I know you're all going to be watching the American Idol finale tonight instead of Lost. But if you're anything like me, you'll be TiVoing Lost for viewing RIGHT FUCKING AFTER Taylor's win. Because its just that important. [cough]

links for 2006-05-24

• rock heals: Write Zombie Haiku and Win!
  Oh c'mon, you HAVE to do this!
  (tags: rockheals zombies poetry)
• Ugly Underwear
  Proving there is an audience for EVERYTHING.
  (tags: clothing humor blog)
• White Shark Trust
  [insert JAWS theme here]
  (tags: animals nature scary)
• They Might Be Giants Ringtones
  I got both "Phone Phone Phone" and "Call Connected Through The NSA" -- HOTT! (via boingboing)
  (tags: TMBG ringtone humor music)
• Tree House Home
  I would like to live in one of these babies.
  (tags: art children design cool)
• Bird Flu Case May Be First Double Jump - New York Times
  batten down the hatches, fothermuckers!
  (tags: health birdflu pandemic)

Ham Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It.

How many facial expressions can one child make in less than 60 seconds? M_ aims to find out.

Each time I snapped a photo, she'd alter her position/expression, as though posing for a photospread in Preschooler Vogue.

Is there a career in modeling ahead for our M_? Perhaps. She certainly has the mercurial temperament and eating habits for it (I have to practically chain her down to get her to eat anything these days), and has been known to throw the occasional toy phone. Plus, I mean, she IS easily distracted by shiny things...

What Is The Best Work Of American Fiction Of The Last 25 Years?

[From The NYT:] Early this year, the Book Review's editor, Sam Tanenhaus, sent out a short letter to a couple of hundred prominent writers, critics, editors and other literary sages, asking them to please identify “the single best work of American fiction published in the last 25 years.”

The results? Toni Morrison's Beloved. Which I never was terribly fond of, I'm sorry.

My answer? Jonathan Franzen'sThe Corrections (which, if you haven't read, you should get up from your chair and go purchase now. No, seriously. Go.). Though with a little nudging I might concede the worthiness of Don DeLillo's Underworld.

Your pick(s)? Thoughts on theirs?

Meanwhile, Over At That Place Where The Club Meets The Mom (Ouch).

Hither and thither.

Psst!

Got a little time on your hands today? Put aside some of it to view this Lewis Black concert on YouTube, before its gone! (His riff -- about halfway through the concert -- on the subject of Milk is, in and of itself, totally worth your time.)

[via]

Madonna: Crazy For You.

Sacriliciousness aside, isn't this behavior just sort of, well, sad at this point?

Yes, yes, Madonna, oooooh you're so controversial, and not at all pathetic... Zzzzzzzz...

What's she going to do next for attention? Light herself on fire and hurl her body into a model of the World Trade Center onstage?

Pah-leese.

Psychological Emergency & I.

So I've been feeling better, thanks for asking. I mean, not BETTER, but you know, better. Its a start.

I'm now down to about 1/2 the minimum dose of Effexor (I've been breaking open the capsules and pouring about half of the granulated contents down the drain for the past 3 or 4 days), and things seem mostly well. I will say that I've been noticing some weirdness with my eyes -- like an occasional spontaneous and random unfocusing-type of thing (FUN!) -- but nothing near the realm of psychological/emotional withdrawal torment I've heard others describe (but wait -- there's time yet for the terror!).

Get Out Your Handkerchiefs.

Oh man, Mr. Rogers RIP.

[via sixfoot6]

I Was Really Just Looking For An Excuse To Use This Video.

How much of a geek does it make me that I'm beside myself with excitement over having today purchased this?

At minimum, this means never again having to deal with these people.

(Chappelle's White Black Man impersonation never ceases being funny to me.)

Meanwhile, Over At Club Mom.

Ninjas attack!

Mmm... Delicious (Cheap) Booooze...

Dreams DO come true, friends. WOOT!

Your Two Cents Wanted.

Hey, so Elisa put up this post over at BlogHer to get a discussion going about the (gulp) panel I'm on... I'd be interested to hear your thoughts (here, or over at BlogHer) about what you'd like to talk about in July. Any particulars you'd like to have addressed? Questions you'd like answered? Thoughts you'd like to float? I don't wanna bore ya'll, so feel free to also note things that you DON'T want to hear about.

Help a sista out, yo.

The Frenz Experiment.

We celebrated my 36th birthday. We watched The Aristocrats.

It was ecstatic.

Meanwhile, Over At BlogHer & Club Mom.

I gush and I chortle.

And now I'm exhausted.

Baltimore, For Shame!

Couple Arrested For Asking For Directions.

That's how we handle people who can't use a map round these parts, pardner. Now ya'll don't come back now, ya hear?

Supahstah!

M_'s preschool had their annual Spring Music Show on Wednesday. At one point in the proceedings, I turned to Jamie and said: “THIS is what I became a parent for!”, because who can resist the awkward adorableness of performing three-year-olds? M_'s class sang Its A Small World, the haunting (see: borderline spooky) strains of which are still lodged firmly in my brain from a trip to Disneyland when I was five.

There was a lot of mumbling of lyrics and shuffling of tiny feet throughout their performance, but I nearly wept as M_ ascended the stage, all the while pointing to me and Jamie in the audience and bellowing “Its Mommy and Papa! LOOK!” to everyone. In her eyes, I guess, we were the the real stars present. In a few years, of course, she won't want to be seen in public with us, so I'm holding onto that moment -- it'll serve as emotional sustenance when we inevitably become embarrassments to her.

A kiss from Papa after the show.

Its Alive!! Alive!!!!

Introducing... Jinkies!

That's right! Jinkies! Mooohoohahahahaha!

Oh man, that's never gonna stop being funny to me...

Morning Has Broken.

I woke up to find some peonies had bloomed.

Big pink balls (heh-heh) of the peonies yet to come.

What Condition My Condition Is In.

It will probably surprise no one reading this to hear that I have AGAIN come to the brilliant conclusion that:

1. The drugs aren't working. THEY AREN'T WORKING, DAMMIT.
And
2. That in addition to better, more worky-type drugs, perhaps a little tiny eencie-weencie smidgen of therapy might do me some good.

Okay, you can all stop rolling your eyes now.

You see, the thing is (or, rather, the things are), I've been up and down this supposed road to supposed psychiatric health so many times, you'd think I'd have it all figured out by now. Or something. SOME. THING. A single, solitary thing figured out, at the very least. But no, it seems there's always some new road construction popping up, creating detours and traffic blockages... and I'm tired of this metaphor already. Sorry. BUT the point is, I've been on just about every antidepressant known to humankind, and all of them have been fair-to-middling in terms of the relief I've experienced. So perhaps I'm just naturally depressed, and should lie down in some nice, quiet, dewy field somewhere and calmly accept my fate. It sure would be the easier path to take, and believe me, I've thought about it. A lot.

Big Brother Says The Darndest Things!

This insanity made my day.

If I had to summarize for you my present state of being at this moment, I think I'd go with Pre-Moving Out Of This Crazy-Ass Country, actually. Or perhaps Pre-Killing Spree... Followed Rapidly By Moving Out Of This Crazy-Ass Country, if that's an option.

And now I must go, because my uterus is requesting I get it a cappuccino.

These Are Subwords / These Are Air.

Is there such a thing as Weather Affective Disorder (ala the Seasonal variety)? I mean, I know rainy days and Mondays get lots of people down [cough], but a few days of unremitting overcast and I'm pretty much ready to take to my bed, dog-eared copy of Being And Nothingness in hand. Its a tad, well, disconcerting.

But it looks as though the remainder of this week will be warm and at least partly sunny, so I guess I'm due for a slight reprieve, rising up from utterly despondent to merely ennui-laden. Yippee.

I've been thinking about a lot of Big Picture-type issues lately, though I'm not sure I'm ready to deal in any kind of practical sense with any of them. Things about sustainability and the environment, about mental health and our rapid-cut culture... I've also been thinking about mortality quite a bit, because about a week or so back I got an email from a high school-era friend of mine, informing me in the nicest, gentlest way possible that a woman who was once my best friend in the world is now likely dying of cancer.

Belated Happy Mother's Day, Part Deux.

A wonderful essay by Anna Quindlen called On Being A Mom after the jump.

[Thanks to Shannon for sending this along.]

Belated Happy Mother's Day.

These are my favorite Irises in our garden.

How did it know to start blooming this weekend?

Hope all of you hot mamas had an awesome day!

Yes, This Is What I've Been Doing All Day.

Have you ever scanned through the iTunes Essentials > Genres & History area in the iTunes Music Store?

That's some heavy, heavy shit, man. And deep.

PS: Thanks for all the birthday well-wishing, everybody. Ya'll are good peoples.

Happy Birthday To Me.

I live in a zoo. I look like a monkey, and I smell like one too (especially this early in the morning. I mean, GAH.).

Which is fine by me, because I woke up this morning to gifts of an iPod Nano and a $50 gift certificate to iTunes from Jamie. ALL HAIL JAMIE.

Today's agenda: Paint Toenails. Play with nano. Download music (suggestions welcome -- I am OLD, after all). Read crappy celebrity magazines. Woo-Hoo!!

The Joy of Gardening In One's Underwear.

This M_ knows.

Stickin' It To The Preschool Man.

So M_ has been doing well overall at her new Jesus-y preschool despite, you know, the brainwashing. Since she started there, we've made a point to play lots of Slayer for her, supplemented with occasional readings from both The Satanic Bible and The O'Reilly Factor For Kids, to balance out the religiosity with some good ol' fashioned EVIL. With any luck, exposure to these polar extremes will push her toward the middle path, and she'll grow into being a snarky, agnostic cynic, just like her Mom.

Anyway, when I've gone to pick M_ up at preschool lately, I've heard tales from her teachers about M_'s refusal to rest during their scheduled nap time. Apparently when rest time arrives, M_ decides that it is the absolute perfect moment to sing loudly to herself, or just randomly run around the classroom squealing like a crazy person. She refuses to sit nicely on her little cot like all the other kids, and either sleep or simply rest, quietly read a book to herself or what have you. The teachers have had multiple little talks with her about why resting is important, and why she needs to be quiet, so as not to disturb the other children. M_ appears to understand the reasoning, yet continues to flagrantly disregard their logic and do what she wants to anyway. I've also discussed the matter with M_ on multiple occasions, and encouraged her to listen to her teachers. No dice.

links for 2006-05-09

• Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Announced
  I.CANNOT.WAIT.
  (tags: ATHF film)
• CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE | Press
  Needless to say, we're buying all of these for M_.
  (tags: CYOA books children)
• Dah Sing Hello Kitty Credit Cards
  Experience the "unprecidented cool and fun!" while driving yourself deeper into debt! Cool! Fun!
  (tags: capitalism credit hellokitty)
• Online plagiarism strikes blog world - The Boston Globe
  Copy me and I'll cut you.
  (tags: blogging plagiarism)
• ABC.com: ABC's 'Lost,' -- Diary
  Who wrote it?!?!
  (tags: LOST tv)
• Bird flu panic. By Gregg Easterbrook
  Why you aren't going to catch the bird flu. SO CALM DOWN ALREADY.
  (tags: disease health avianflu)
• Dave Chappelle -- Grape Drink
  Sugar, Water, Purple.
  (tags: chappelle humor)
• sweetney - Google Search
  Just wanted to note that I continue to kick Mike Sweetney's butt *with his own name* (though he's got the wikipedia article, which counts for something).
  (tags: sweetney)

Down The LOST Rabbit Hole.

Jamie sent me an email with the following info and this note from him: “Bye-bye freetime and good parenting!”

Sadly accurate.

In what's being hailed as the largest interactive challenge based on a TV series, ABC and 19 other networks stretching across five continents are introducing “Lost Experience” — an Internet game that will feature a parallel story line that will give insight into the top-rated show. It is world-wide, and fans from different countries will have to reach out to each other and trade information if they want to start sleuthing. “The game reaches back into 'Lost' history and looks forward to future episodes,” said Mike Benson, senior vice president of marketing for ABC Entertainment. The game is specifically designed in a manner that is not dependent on information from season one or season two.

EDIT: Yet another email from Jamie: "Its hard to read as a huge link, yo." Sigh.

C'mon, Get Happy!

Happy Housewife vs. Mad Mommy

Yeah, you're going to want to read that.

Photos Without People.

The weekend in photos sans humans... because they're really just visual clutter, man.

Inspired.

From this, to this.

Now THAT'S a tribute!

David Blaine: Drowned Alive.

I know. I can't believe I'm watching this either.

PS: Thank christ he's underwater, because having to listen to his nasal drone for an hour might be enough to cause me to undergo some sort of catastrophic mental break.

PPS: Anybody know what the odds are in Vegas right now for Blaine actually drowning?

PPPS: Yes, indeed I am that ghoulish.

To Sum Up: I'm An Old Lady.

Its my birthday Friday, and I've been trying to figure out if I even want to celebrate it in any fashion whatsoever. This birthday marks my official crossing into the 'mid-to-late thirties', which to my mind is sort of like crossing over from youth to near decrepitude. So not much to celebrate there, really.

And I'm particularly angry at my aging, sagging body right now, too. I've been exercising consistently for a couple months now, and feel as though I'm making little to no progress. It wasn't that long ago (was it?) that I could practically transform my body with little effort over a few week's time... Now, despite great effort, it seems unwilling or unable to let go of its pregnancy-induced plague of flabbiness. And as a result, I'm getting mighty, mighty discouraged. Back around the turn of the new year, I thought I'd be well on my way to retrieving my old body from the dustbin of history by now. Instead, I'm wondering why I'm tormenting myself with this, when nothing seems to be changing except that I'm now more tormented. Wouldn't I in fact be better off if, instead of making myself miserable with all of this fruitless effort, I just had a goddamn muffin?

Deliciousness.

The Soundtrack Playing In My Mind.

the imitation picks you up like a habit
riding in the glow of the tv static
taking out the trash to the man
give the people something they understand

mistake a nervous flash for a fine line smile
junk bond trader trying to sell a sucker a stock
rich man in a poor man's clothes
the permanent installment of the daily dose

and you tell me, fool, you tell it like it is
your word's gone wider than your headtrip is
checking into a small reality
void as a drug you take too regularly

the athlete's laugh, the broken crutch
the first true love folded at the slightest touch
brought down like an old hotel
people digging through the rubble for things they can resell

“happy holidays,” said Sid the Saviour
believe in love I still favour
i won't take your medicine, i don't need a remedy
to be everything i'm supposed to be
i don't want nobody else
i can do it by myself
we're meant to be together

now i'm a policeman directing traffic
keeping everything moving, everything static
i'm the hitchhiker you'll recognize passing
on your way to some everlasting...

better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can
better sell it while you can

-- Elliott Smith, “Junk Bond Trader”

links for 2006-05-05

• I'm The Decider
  thanks to kelsi for this little humorous nugget.
  (tags: humor mp3 music politics)

Meanwhile, Over At Blogher.

Stirring the pot, stirring the pot...

PS: For your totally random, unrelated amusement: 50 Animals Driving.

Moms Rising.

Check it.

MomsRising is working to build a massive grassroots online resource to move motherhood and family issues to the forefront of the country's awareness, and to provide grassroots support for leaders, as well as organizations, addressing key motherhood issues.

Affiliated with MoveOn.org, seems fairly awesome.

This Post Contains No References To Race or Death.

Just pretty pitchers of uncontroversial flowers!

Though you know, I'm going to die someday.

“And Its A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall.”

A couple of weeks ago, M_ abruptly and inexplicably decided that the most important thing in the whole entire M_-known universe was for her to see the movie Bambi. Yes, the mother-getting-killed-dead-thus-leaving-poor-little-Bambi- wandering-about-the-woods-forlornly-calling-for-his-Mama movie Bambi. That one. Yep.

So you might understand my apprehension about voluntarily bringing into our collective life the grim specter of mortality, knowledge of the fleeting ephemerality of existence, and, of course, the attendant monsters of death that would immediately begin nesting beneath M_'s tiny toddler bed at night, tormenting her with their near-visibility. All that stuff... well that's Jamie's problem as far as I'm concerned. When the matter of death and dying has to be broached, I'll be scheduling a weekend of spa treatments at a resort located at least two states away. And please, hold all my calls.

But we watched the dreaded Bambi yesterday, and truth be told M_ didn't blink an eye. The, ahem, problematic scene came and went, the gravity of it all drifting right past her, apparently subsumed by the endless visual tidal wave of baby bunnies animated so as to achieve perfect fluffy smooshiness (perfect in 1942, of course; were Bambi made now in CGI, today's bunnies would obviously trounce the comparatively primitive 40's bunnies in terms of their realization of exceptional fluffiness and breathtaking rendering of smooshiness). It seems it just plain didn't register. And yes, I was almost embarrassingly thankful for that.

I'll Take That In Tens And Twenties, Thanks.

Today's top story, ladies.

And an unrelated, but vital aside: Yeah, what he said. [via 43Folders]

A Cornucopia Of Items From The Junk Drawer That Is My Brain.

Oh my god, my sinuses. The past 48 hours have been filled with bone-crushing, throbbing head pain, so much so that I literally went to bed last night at 9:30 -- lights out, eyes closed and everything -- which is frankly somewhat absurd. Yesterday I talked to jamie on the phone several times throughout the day, per usual, and the conversations went something like this:

Jamie: blah blah blah work stuff. blah blah blah? [imagine if you will the voice of the teacher from Peanuts' cartoons here]
Me: ...Huh? [sniff sniff] Oh yeah, great. Or whatever.
Jamie: blah blah blah stuff about poetry and crap, blah blah blah!
Me: My sinuses hurt! Why are you talking to me about things that don't matter WHEN MY SINUSES HURT?!?! WAAAAAAHHH!

I have the lowest threshold for pain ever recorded, incidentally. I've taken two Sudafed, two Benadryl, and four Excedrin this morning alone. Think that might be, uhh, overkill?

Rockheals Update.

Its a very special Rockheals, with my beloved friend Bob back to share with us more things he's learned in Hollywood, plus a superfly Hot House 5.

You know you wanna.

Its Perfect.

Well played, well played.

links for 2006-05-02

• ABC News: 'Lost' Game Lets Fans Hunt for Clues
  Oooh! Now that the show has stopped sucking so hard, I might be down for this.
  (tags: tv internet games)
• Travel Channel :: Casting Call
  Yo! If you don't have kids, I demand you do this. Oh and ps: I HATE YOU.
  (tags: travel contest tv)
• What Ails Us? -- In These Times
  I'm definitely feeling some outrage fatigue.
  (tags: society politics psychology)
• Home - Rock Mama Films
  This looks AWESOME! [via Parent Hacks]
  (tags: parenting rock film motherhood)
• Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls
  M_ is SO going to this (once she turns 8)!
  (tags: music kids children rock camp)
• Mule Design Feed Store | Colbert Has Stones
  oh yes indeedy.
  (tags: colbert humor news politics tv)
• Is Lost a Repeat?
  Your one-stop-shopping to find out the answer to every week's oft-asked question.
  (tags: tv web)
• The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
  Free to download from apple store! New Jack White project... song is great.
  (tags: music mp3)

Beauty & Blood.

Tender, Translucent, & Fuzzy.

Random Things I'm Liking These Days.

French Press Coffee. There's a reason why those French are so snooty.

Threadless T-Shirts. $10 sale until May 8th only! BUY BUY BUY! [EDIT: DUDES! Enter the code “SUPER TEES” at checkout and get an additional $3 off! That makes the Tees $7! WOOT!]

(My selection? “Rock How-To”:)

Copy, Right? Liza is awesome.

Cliff Bars. Have I mentioned that I pretty much live on these? Sad, I know.

New iPod batteries for Old Skool iPods. I replaced the battery in my first-generation iPod today for a mere $20, with the upshot being that I should now have approximately 70% more battery life on that sucka. Though I incurred a few injuries in the process (photos to come), if that figure is right it'll have been well worth it.

Bizarre Diet Plans So Crazy They Just Might Work. Anyone wanna be a guinea pig for this one? Or guinea pig along with me (I'm willing, for the sake of the progress of science, to give it a go for a few days)?

Wists. Warning: yet another intarweb black hole wherein time and space accelerate past you at warp speed.

From My Ongoing Series Entitled “Signs That The Endtime Cometh.”

Anna Nicole Smith Wins Supreme Court Case.

THE SKY IS FALLING, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Thank you for your attention. Have a nice day.

Sometimes Its Like She's The Simon Cowell To My Ryan Seacrest.

[While driving in the car listening to The Shins' So Says I * (at a volume that would be considered by some to be distinctly not family-friendly), a song that for some reason or other M_ has randomly taken to associating with the Disney movie Lady & The Tramp, calling it “The Tramp Song” and requesting I play it over and over again during our daily errand-running. I have no idea either.]

Me: [singing along]
M_: [shouting over music] Mommy! Mommy stop it!
Me: [lowering volume] What?
M_: Mommy, stop singing!
Me: M_, Mommy can sing whenever she wants. You can sing whenever you want.
M_: Mommy, don't sing.
Me: That's not very nice, M_.
M_: Mommy, it makes people worried.

Oh man, I think she just invented a whole new methodology of child-to-parent mortification. It makes people worried. I'm seriously filing that one away for future study and, perhaps, choice deployment.

As her mother, of course, I couldn't be prouder.