Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

Cause sunbeams are not made like me: out of 80 proof alcohol.

But let me begin by saying that all of this is Amy's fault.

Well, okay. The contents of these guys might
have had a little something to do with it.

You see, last night Amy and I had something of a girls night out in DC because I'm a scheming social climber. It started off innocently enough. I mean, children were involved:

Even my mammoth cuteness cannot protect
you from your coming descent into madness.

And small woodland creatures domesticated animals fashion accessories yippy things:

After I crap on the floor, I will be sure to spend some
quality time praying for your mortal soul, you poor sap.

We had delicious Ethiopian food for dinner. And split a bottle of wine. And then went to a bar. Because half a bottle of wine each merely served to whet our appetites for LIQUIFIED PURE EVIL. I added to the mix a couple shots of espresso -- mixed in with the alcohol, mind you, because I wanted to make sure I was really, REALLY awake when the spins and vomiting took hold. Whee!

I'm not drunk. I'm just blurry.

I stopped drinking when I felt a little something like this:

Yeah, and now to DRIVE HOME. Good job, asshat.

This morning I woke up feeling as though someone had taken a large metal stake and pounded it mercilessly through the top of my skull, all the way down into my intestinal tract. I struggled to my feet, took M_ to daycare, and then returned home to flop on the couch, bemoaning the existence of all alcohol everywhere (with particular emphasis on its residence in my digestive and circulatory systems). When I later awoke, after perhaps an hour of fitful napage, I decided some food might be in order. And this, of all things, is what called to me:

Its has 'assorted fruit flavors'. That has the word
FRUIT in it, so its gotta be good for me, right?

I KNOW. But since my body is basically holding me hostage at this point, I had no choice but to consume some, since that was part of its List Of Demands. That and Advil, refreshing juice-based beverages, and the whole NOT MOVING APPENDAGES thing. Gah.

But other than that: man, GOOD TIMES.

Comments

[Sonia (DDM)]

It was totally worth it though, right? Feel better!

[Heather B.]

Glad you all had fun! And of course, great to see you again, albeit rather briefly.

[sweetney]

heather, next time we're taking you with us. moohoohahaha!

[MeL]

You guys didn't go to Meskerem did you? Because if you did, I will officially begin to weep that #1 I missed out on sharing a platter of Yassir Watt with you and Amy. Even though I know you have no idea who the hell I am. And #2 because.. umm... let's just reference #1 again. Because it is THAT level of travesty, people.

[tracy]

I'll be over here, seething at fun people having fun times. Pfft, whatever.

[Dad Gone Mad]

I must be drunk too because I think I just saw a picture of a dog that looks like a kiwi fruit.

[sweetney]

mel: ummm... yes, meskerem. [ducks]

[mothergoosemouse]

I'm now busy praying that my daughter never spots those princess-themed fruit snacks at the grocery store.

I do see a mortar and pestle next to the fruit snacks. Now, pulverized princess-themed fruit snacks might be more appealing.

[Katie Kat]

Next time, keep hydrated while you are drinkin! It's the bestest trick ever. Drink a glass of water at least once an hour and then before you go to bed down 2 HUGE glasses of water with a cocktail of 2 aspirin/2 tylenol/2 advil. You WILL feel better the next day.

Oh, and the next day, DRINK LOTS OF WATER! It's the dehydration that is making you so accursedly hungover!

And one more thing... I'M SO JEALOUS YOU WENT OUT WITH AMY! I loves me some Amalah! :)

[marie]

man, that's the worst part of this "being a parent" thing, the 6am wake up time + hangover. We basically stopped all drinking until very recently. And we never get to stay out past midnight cause I JUST CAN'T HACK IT.. I feel old and lame...

[SJ]

Oh no! Man, I still do this too sometimes, and part of me is like, that was so fun, and the other part is going, I was so high, obviously.