From The Desk Of... MY ARSE
Dear Ruffled Lite Potato Chips (50% fewer calories! Zero fat! SHAZAM!) that I scarfed last night with reckless abandon before noticing your bag's MADE WITH OLESTRA warning logo,
I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU EVIL BASTARDS.
Cordially,
The artist formerly known as Tracey's lower intestine
PS: Would it be too much to ask that you just name them “ASS CHIPS” or something? For the sake of clarity and stuff? Think about it, m'kay?
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Yeah, the warnings on that stuff scare the crap out of me. (Rim shot. Bad pun. Sorry.) Something about anal leakage. Ewwww.
Posted by: kaleigh | June 22, 2007 at 05:49 PM
Oh, man. Olestra is some scary substance.
Posted by: slouching mom | June 22, 2007 at 05:53 PM
Olestra. Ouch. Or rather, ewww. So sorry, Tracey!
Posted by: Kyla | June 22, 2007 at 07:07 PM
They originally used the term "oily anal leakage" in the product information. Oily?! WTF?
Posted by: whoorl | June 22, 2007 at 08:05 PM
Olestra. I love the concept. It's a snack food! It's a laxative!
Pure genius.
Also anything with sugar alcohol (maltiol?) has the same side benefit. Have some bowel loosening snacks today!
Posted by: ozma | June 23, 2007 at 01:57 AM
A friend used Olestra chips to jumpstart labor when she went past term.
Not only did it work, it worked FAST.
Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Lisa B-K | June 23, 2007 at 02:45 PM
Yikes. Thanks for the warning. I'll make sure I steer clear of them or ensure I'm safely atop the throne if I eat them.
Posted by: Patois | June 23, 2007 at 05:55 PM
You poor thing.
Posted by: Maria | June 25, 2007 at 11:34 AM
yeah, isn;t there a warning about "anal seepage" or somesuch.
ANAL SEEPAGE, TRACE! ANAL SEEPAGE.
(i just wanted you to take that in, and i enjoyed typing it so much i had to repeat it...)
Posted by: joy | June 25, 2007 at 11:32 PM