I'm in yr Thanksgiving eatin' yr stuffins

For Thanksgiving this year we made a pilgrimage North by car to the land of my birth: New Jersey. “Joy-zee,” as it's pronounced by the natives, with little to no irony. My Aunt Elaine -- who is my Father's sister -- still lives in the great Garden State, holding it down and keeping it real for Gaughrans everywhere.

And so we must return to pay homage.

My Aunt is something of a human powerhouse, let there be no doubt. She's a shining example of 1960s & 70s Feminism, a woman who rose to greatness, power, and self-sufficiency in the professional sphere, amassed something resembling a fortune, and has now retired to travel the world and work at her pleasure “for fun.” Growing up, she was ever-present in my life, perfectly coifed and well-put-together, forever business-casual and smelling of expensive perfumes with names I couldn't pronounce. And though as an adult her sophistication and gentility have often left me feeling oafish and decidedly uncouth, I've learned much from my Aunt over the years, and benefitted greatly from her seemingly boundless generosity (the reason I've never bought a car in my life? SHE KEEPS GIVING HERS TO ME. okthxbai!).

But, having said all that, there's something else you should know. My Aunt is a crazy cat lady.

No, she isn't living in filth with 50 of them... Though I'm fairly convinced if she could find a way to deploy a tireless army of cleaning robots to keep her home in it's typically furniture-showroom-pristine condition despite such a ginormous feline hoard, she indeed would. That woman loves her some fuckin' cats, man. Here, perhaps this visual aid will give you some sense of what I'm talking about:

I'm in yr Living Room, cloggin' your walls.

Yes, that's right. My Aunt is HARDCORE, people, and definitely NOT messin'. Caturday is indeed serious bidness in her household. All over her household. ON EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE, IN EVERY ROOM, THE SERIOUSNESS IS EXPRESSED. Oy.

And because I love my Aunt -- crazy cat ladyness and all -- I've taken it upon myself to compile a short LOLset-piece in honor of our Thanksgiving together, with her beloved cat Duncan as the star. Please to enjoy teh festive holiday lolz.

. . . . . . . . . .

FIN
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Oh yes, and there is something other than cats that my Aunt Elaine loves intensely.

Comments

[Kelly]

christ, that cat is huge. The pictures remind me of that woman that takes over Hogwart's in one of the Harry Potter movies (I can no longer distinguish them). She has plates with painted (moving) cats all over her office walls.

[sweetney]

the cat also tried to bite M at one point. apparently not fond of preschoolers. which, you know, i can understand. i mean, they ARE sort of terrifying. snort.

[Lynn B]

ROTFL! Too funny. I think everyone has at least one crazy cat lady in their family, right?

[cursingmama]

I'm not so worried about the size of my cats now ;)

[Kristabella]

Hahaha! Globular is shape!

[Ree]

Okay, Kristabella so totally beat me, word for word, to my comment.

harumph.

Now, could you tell me how to get my own car-gifting Aunt?

[Christine]

Your aunt, she wants to adopt me and maybe my cat and fiance too? We're only right across the river in Philadelphia! Plus, I still consider myself a New Jersey girl at heart. You let her know.

[sweetney]

Ree: ask the car-gifting aunt fairy for one?

you all hate me now, don't you?

[Fraulein N]

Yeah, tell her to throw one o' them cars 'cross the river my way.

Well she has extra, doesn't she?

[All Adither]

I'm a crazy cat lady. Except that I own almost no cat paraphernalia, have just one cat and my house smells only a little.

I'm a crazy cat lady at heart.

[Maria]

I want to carry your Aunt around in my pocket :-)

[magpie]

Globular indeed.

Her wall o' cats is very artfully arranged.