Stop the world, I want to go lie down for a bit

Hiya, hon.

Just popping in to say that I'm not so much suffering from writer's block as I am from incessant, low-grade illness coupled with incessant, low-grade depression. I'm not sure which came first -- it's a classic chicken-or-egg situation -- but regardless, here we are. Snotty and sad, despite struggling mightily to be neither. Oh whattawuld, whattawurld.

I should also add that my house is a rickety, teetering pile of stinking mess, that I've worn essentially the same clothing for three days straight, and that I owe a bunch of people stuff I promised them days and days ago -- paperwork, and other important-seeming things -- which taken altogether makes me want to retreat to the safe, cradling embrace of my couch all the more.

And yes, I do realize that I could've used the energy it just took me to write all of that down to actually DO SOMETHING. Thanks for pointing that out. Now please go to hell.

I know, I know. It's a cycle. I'm in a low period, I will, like the South, rise again. Nothing to do but ride it out, and try not to break too much important shit in the process. Still, every time it sneaks up on me I wish I knew some secret -- had some kind of magic wand I could wave -- to break this dark spell.

(I kept her home from school today, selfishly. Just having her here means I kind of almost HAVE TO be a little better, a little less wretched and glum.)

Comments

[slouching mom]

You are SCARILY in my head.

As I lie here on the couch. Mess around me. Things to do, but no will to do them.

I understand. Even the part about keeping her home. I do that sometimes, too. Well, not her. But him. Or him.

I hope this passes quickly for you.

[Elizabeth]

That is exactly how I was last Tuesday chatting on MamaPopTalk. Sick, unshowered, realizing I hadn't taken my antidepressant in like a week because I had just kept forgetting, house a mess, product review posts way past due. Hang in there babe, it will pass.

And while I was sick, I let Nathan stay home one day so he could entertain Kaitlyn for me. No guilt at all about that.

[Dana]

I too am snotty, achy, and tired. This time of year, right before spring, SUCKS. We're almost there! Hope you get to feeling better.

[Heather B.]

Ha. You're talking to a girl who is currently in bed on a Tuesday afternoon. And last I checked, I don't work from home. So, yeah.

February sucks.

[ozma]

Sorry, but I was going to tell you to just go lie down and take a nap. DON'T DO ANYTHING!

Maybe this low grade thing is just your body telling you to rest. So rest!

I'm even weirder because sometimes I get her to stay with me in both our pajamas in bed for hours! How bad is that? She kind of enjoys it and I kind of enjoy knowing this might be the last year her idea of fun is lying around in bed reading stories with mommy all day with the blinds down.

[sweetney]

i blame the illness, frankly. i mean, how can i be expected to hold my chronic depression at bay when i haven't been able to breathe out of either nostril properly for well over a week?

i'm with heather. february SUCKS.

[Karen (miscmum)]

Sitting here, nodding. Yah, yah, I get you. Especially the mess.

May I say, though, and I mean this in the BEST possible sense, anytime I see Leopard skin-pattern lately I can't help but think of Diablo Cody!

[Jo]

Feel better, Sweetney! We're all rooting for you (with pom poms and everything! har!)!

[Poppy]

Commiseration 'R Us. February has totally kicked my ass.

We've had a ton of snow, the whole house sick with colds, a bad back, a strained ligament, snow, a flat tire from driving into the world's biggest pothole, major car repair expenses, and more snow.

Worst. February. Ever.

Wouldn't you know it's a leap year?

[Mrs. Davis]

I know you've heard this from me before, but I FEEL YOU.

[Jon Stewart]

My dear sweet Tracy. Now, see? If you had only let me come over and shower you with praise and TLC (and there's lots of T-ness and much L in my C), this would all be over by now.

BTW, although I'm not big on duty-shirking, I'm glad you expended your efforts on writing this entry instead of whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. Your words are therapeutic for many of us, and I suspect they are for you, too.

Feel better soon.

[Liana]

Feel better!!! Lots better!! There are so many causes for stuff like this, all jumbled up...
I've been having a harder time getting out of bed ever since 2008 began! I blame winter, mostly. But still--I know this will pass, too.
Do what you need to do to care for your body AND soul, okay? ****BIG HUG****

[sweetney]

Jon Stewart faker = teh awesomes.

[Laura]

Late February and early March are always such a downslide (and I live where it's oppressively sunny). I hope you feel more like yourself soon.

[Sarah]

When I was little, kindergarden/1st gradeish, every once in a while my mom would tell me that I didn't have to go to school and could hang out with her instead and she would take me to burger king and stuff. I always think about why she would have done that but have never asked her. It never occured to me that lonliness and depression were probably the culprits.

thanks.

[sweetney]

thanks to everyone for your commiseration and kindness. i'm doing okay, forging ahead, doing the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing. sometimes it seems like that's the only thing to do, you know?

but i just wanted to say thank you. your comments mean more than you can know. for reals.