Spring (spirit) Break(ing)
This week is M's Spring Break from preschool, which means she's here at home with me -- bound tightly to my right leg like an enormous, fleshy barnacle coated in Disney Princess patterned cloth -- every day until April freakin' 1st. HELLO, THAT'S NEXT MONTH, PEOPLE.
Okay, so it's really only one week away... but boy oh boy does that whole flipping-of-the-calendar thing somehow make the time seem all the more daunting and epic. A DIFFERENT MONTH! APRIL, NOT MARCH! WOE!
Yes, I'm a total pussy. What of it?
So we're basically riding a slow-ass train to nowheresville this week, as I try (ineptly, as is my way) to balance all my various interweb work-type duties, my home/life duties, and the unrelenting spastic and needy insanity that is preschoolerdom.
Needless to say, there will be a whole lot of drinking.
But in the name of curbing my burgeoning alcoholism, let me also ask you, the all-knowing internets, for advice: what would you do to keep a 5-year-old entertained for one full week?
Any and all suggestions welcome, with bonus points and shiny gold stars for ideas that might also allow me to continue doing things like my work (dollah dollah bills, y'all!), household chores, and urinating and defecating alone.
I await futher directives from you, o mighty internet overlords.
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Not only that but your GB album (previous post) dropped three weeks early, ya know. You can get it right now. So time is totally fubar.
One hing that keeps my 4 yr old occupied is this: Get a spiral notebook and do lists, like Dora. Doodle three things your kid can find (ex: cat, lamp, noodles). Send the kid on a scavenger hunt. In a few minutes when you're regaled with the fact that everything's checked off the list, flip the page and have the kid start a new list. I found it works best if I have the notebook already full of doodles instead of making new lists every five minutes.
If you don't mind mess, a new can of PlayDoh is a cheap way to get enough free time to shower.
Posted by: Eden | March 25, 2008 at 12:01 PM
J of Oh the Joys commanded me to check out your site because we are, I am told, kindred spirits. J has never steered me wrong.
I consider myself a fairly non-mainstream type who happens to have offspring. Well, one anyway. An offsprung...
Anyway, I caved - caved I tell you - and bought a Reader's Digest-sized magazine in my grocery store checkout line: Martha Stewart's Good Things for Kids - Get Crafty (send over an exorcist, please).
There are a lot of ideas to keep clingy little hands otherwise occupied. I'm amazed at how much traction I've gotten out of a bowl full of buttons. Be warned, however, you may have to go to JoAnn Fabrics for supplies. Oh, the humanity.
Posted by: foop | March 25, 2008 at 01:25 PM
I can only tell you what my mom used to do.
"Go find something to do," she would say.
"I'm bored," I would answer.
"Oh, great, then you can do housework," mom would reply, and rattle off a list of horrors that she had in her head.
I learned to quit saying I was bored.
Posted by: Suebob | March 25, 2008 at 01:34 PM
No specific suggestions, but my mom would say that you should have some sort of outing planned for every day so she has something to look forward to. Even if it's just an errand, it gives the day a little structure.
Posted by: Ruth | March 25, 2008 at 01:34 PM
You could tie her up with giant twizzler lassos and tell her to eat her way free.
And set in her front of the TV while she's doing it, so it takes longer!
Posted by: Michelle | March 25, 2008 at 01:47 PM
foop: and you have a dog named Wallace. AND I HAVE A CAT NAMED WALLACE. NO. WAY. snort.
michelle: i'm so trying that. not even kidding.
Posted by: sweetney | March 25, 2008 at 02:21 PM
sign her up for swimming lessons - as long as you can safely balance the laptop near the pool you'll achieve so many things at once : M will learn something, have fun, and get really tired - giving you some more time to work after all the excitement. or that twizzler tie-up thing. talk about brilliant!
Posted by: gala | March 25, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Ummm...you could just let the TV babysit LOL
ya...because that's wonderful.
Posted by: B | March 25, 2008 at 03:55 PM
I love Michelle's idea - can someone do that to me?
I agree with Suebob - but on a related note, they do make cutesy little kid sized brooms. I can keep Maddy entertained for at least 15 minutes with Windex and paper towels.
Or let M guest blog for you. Let's hear how she's going to keep you entertained for a whole week.
Posted by: Kim | March 25, 2008 at 04:22 PM
I have resorted to hiding dollar bills (his current favorite thing), telling him the floor on the way to my office is lava and he has to stay in the livingroom, turning him loose on the bay window with glass markers, setting up a pretend desk beside mine, and giving him robitussin so he'll sleep all day. (I kid, sort of) and it's only tuesday. Please send help.
Posted by: Shania | March 25, 2008 at 04:31 PM
I am of no help in this arena. Mine are nine and fourteen, and I have (mercifully) forgotten Spring Breaks past.
But! I am all about Super Music Dance Party Breakdowns when they are about to snap my last fragile nerve - turn on the radio and boogie-oogie-oogie all around the apartment for about ten minutes. Then I can love them again, rather than daydream of duct taping them to walls.
Posted by: Melanie | March 25, 2008 at 05:56 PM
I pay pennies for every item that is picked up off the floor after all the toys have been played with. This gives my five year old something to do and when she's done she's "RICH!" I let them all play outside. Something about fresh air makes them tired! Good Luck! Tracey
Posted by: Traceytreasure | March 25, 2008 at 06:12 PM
How about a giant pad of construction paper, new crayons and a few stickers accompanied by requests for certain drawings? "M. can you draw a bird flying in the sky with the sun shining, some flowers and..." insert ridiculous things to get creative juices flowing. That keeps my (almost) 4 year old busy for about 2 hours usually.
I'll need to come back to review your other suggestions since after this Friday there is NO more daycare, no more employment...... I am 37 weeks pregnant And just started my year long mat. leave (way to go Ontario!).
Posted by: Karrie | March 25, 2008 at 06:13 PM
take her and the laptop to McDonalds. Let her run and be a wild child and you get wi-fi.
Take her to Gymboree or some other activity center.
Call and arrange a sleepover for her at a friend's house. Do the same for that parent on a different night...Provide pizza and Dora movies and late(ish) bedtimes.
Movie matinee (if she'll sit through it), kid's museum, day trip to the ocean...
If all else fails, send her out with the DH to do any/all of the above while you do your thang!
Bottom line...keep her busy!
Posted by: BamaLaura | March 25, 2008 at 06:20 PM
I heard nail polish can provide endless hours of fun...
:OMG:
Posted by: gretchen | March 25, 2008 at 06:34 PM
We could always schedule a giant get together of Jon-Stewart-loving, tired-of-spring-break people. And then we could expose our children to the joys of subtle humor that they're really too young to understand.
(At least the idea of it makes me giggle.)
Posted by: Dr. Leah - Transformation Revolution | March 25, 2008 at 07:53 PM
Lots of princess type videos?
Although I was a really bad mom. I made Mr. Hot retire and I went to the office.
Posted by: Ree | March 25, 2008 at 08:55 PM
make a giant fort out of boxes.
Posted by: kim | March 25, 2008 at 11:23 PM
i found these:
Spring theme crafts, printables, recipes, activities, games, parties and gardening ideas, all from Family Fun:
http://familyfun.go.com/parties/holiday-seasonal/minisite/spring-main-ms/
This site is not as pretty, but still has solid preschooler fun ideas like an "All About Me Frame" and "Homemade Bird Feeder" :
http://preschoolrock.com/
Sweet, simple (kinda granola) ideas like a nature journal:
http://childparenting.about.com/cs/spring/a/springlearning.htm
Also, the library always has hours and hours of fun with books, books on tape (with the little bell when it's time to turn the page) DVDs, and kid music that I refuse to buy, plus going there and stopping for a snack takes half the day.
Puzzles, painting, making lunch together, some TV - your week could be over in a flash and it just might be the best week you've spent together yet!
(Yeah, I'm not buying it either - but maybe some of this crap will help pass the endless hours.)
I'll pray for you.
Posted by: Erica (crummy cupcake) | March 25, 2008 at 11:30 PM
Go to the dollar store and stock up on containers, construction paper, pipe cleaners, felt, ribbon, markers, glue, etc. You can have her do arts & crafts. She can make herself a jewelry box with a container. If you giver her a white t-shirt, she can design a t-shirt for herself. You can write spring break 2008 on it when she is done.
Posted by: Maria | March 26, 2008 at 04:53 AM
My never fail: Get a few sheets, drape them between chairs or over the dining room table. Give her a flashlight, a bowl of gold fish, her favorite toys and let her "camp out". My kids would stay in their "fort" for hours and hours. Most days, they'd want their lunch there, and I'd have a fight on my hands to take it down for dinner.
Another favorite: spray bottle of water and a dish cloth. Let her "clean" anything she wants.
Good luck!
Posted by: mrsbbradley | March 26, 2008 at 07:08 AM
No assvice from me... I can hardly make it through the weekends with my two-year old! It's like "What? It's sunny? DAMN. Guess that means you sittin' in front of the boob tube all day and me using the excuse of it being COLD and SNOWY outside are history?"
Scary shit baby, scary shit...
Posted by: Katie Kat | March 26, 2008 at 12:24 PM
Oh, that's a simple one: BUILD A CAGE.
What?
We're not supposed to do that??
Oh.
Well.
I've gotta run and remove, I mean, um, check on something.
Good luck....
Posted by: Undomestic Diva | March 26, 2008 at 02:28 PM
Clear off the counter and give her a bowl of cornstarch and water to play with. (yeah, you'll have to clean up a big ol mess later, but she'll have a blast (try it - it's pretty cool).
Posted by: tunie | March 26, 2008 at 02:40 PM
I would do this:
http://www.photobasement.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/daycare.jpg
Posted by: hosie | March 26, 2008 at 02:43 PM
dudes, you are so all crafty and shit. please keep in mind that given a crafty assignment i am likely to accidentally glue body parts together and/or self-inflict puncture wounds.
hosie may have something there.
Posted by: sweetney | March 26, 2008 at 05:21 PM
I am sorry, no sympathy from me my lovely. Here in Oz the kids were back at school for EIGHT WEEKS after SIX WEEKS home over Christmas and now they are on holidays AGAIN for TWO WEEKS.
(sorry for the shouting, but man am I pissed) so my place is teen central and my youngest has attached himself to my hip and pantry.
And they keep finding me in my hidey places and asking for food and stuff...
My advice is keep up the alcohol intake and just ride through it in a drunken haze. I would do it but can't lest the teens decide to finally see me as a role model.
Posted by: Kelley | March 27, 2008 at 05:12 AM
yea..I'm in the same boat...flippin' 2 WEEKS OFF fer the love of gaahhddd! I've got bags full of new artsy crafty things, toys, a big ass trampoline out back and the kid is still all up in my graham crackers. At least you live in B-more, hon...we live on the eastern shore..land of 'not a whole lot going on but nature trails'. Only 5 more days though...ooohhmm.
Posted by: kate | March 27, 2008 at 10:53 AM