Comparisons = odious

This morning I got an email from someone at The Baltimore Sun, a person working on a new parenting blog for the paper, giving me a heads-up about this.

I'm always humbled and grateful when someone takes the time to recognize my writing, and certainly I realize that this person intended her post, and the comparisons drawn therein, to be received as favorable and flattering to me. But honestly, my gut reaction to this when I first saw it could be summed up in four words: PLEASE KILL ME NOW.

Because though I understand that Dooce is something of a phenomenon, and that it is easy to see her influence weighing heavily on parenting blogs everywhere -- particularly when looking through the eyes of someone not intimately familiar with the vast scope of the parenting (gag!)blogosphere(gag!) -- let's be clear: I am not an iteration of Dooce. She's swell, and more power to her, but no. And no thank you.

Friends, I have had my dusty old blonde bob well over ten years, and my sailor's mouth far longer. I have been taking photos all my life -- showing them in museums and galleries back in the early 1990s, in fact. I started blogging about motherhood before Heather was pregnant with her daughter. And with all due respect, my dog can't balance a goddamn thing on his head.

I know it's tempting to draw these kinds of comparisons. That it is, well, easy. But that easiness at times seems to slide nearer and nearer to just plain laziness, and -- when positioned relative to everything I do here on Sweetney -- can feel a little reductive. Mildly insulting, even.

Hi, I'm Tracey. My blog is Sweetney. I'm not the most original or special person in the world, certainly. But I'm ME.

Comments

[kdiddy]

But, Tracey...you're a woman and a mom. how unique could you possibly be, right?

[Assertagirl]

Yeah, when I read that I thought to myself, "Ummmm, NO."

[jodifur]

I think people are just always convinced you are trying to mimic something. (Not you, but people). I recently got an email calling me a bad amalah rip off. Now I love Amy, both her blog, and in person, and I took that as I compliment. But, our blogs could not be more different, and in all honesty, hers is so much better. We both just use a play on our name as our title.

People just need to find something to say, even if it is stupid.

And yeah, your blogs are nothing alike.

[heels]

Don't you know? Blonde hair and having a girl and a dog make you EXACTLY THE SAME. Then add in the fact that you each have blogs and take pictures and- woah- are you sure you aren't ACTUALLY the same person? Can I be you/her too?

[Miss Britt]

Oh thank God.

Because I was >this< close to running out and getting myself a dog.

[eve]

As a long-time reader of both dooce and sweetney, I agree that the comparison is lame. I suspect that the Sun blogger hasn't been around the "blogosphere" long enough to know that you and Heather actually know each other. I think she is just desperately trying to increase her blog traffic by linking to popular bloggers. Thanks to your link, her traffic will probably go way up today. Sadly, I doubt anyone will bother returning. The Sun is trying so hard to be relevent, but without a distictive voice, or at least some damn content, that blog is pointless. On a less bitchy note, Elizabeth Large's restaurant blog is pretty good.

[BaltimoreGal]

Yeah, I was wondering about that. Didn't seem like there was much of a connection there. (Other than what heels mentioned). Oh well.

[Colin Brooks]

That is horrible! I was going "WTF?!" throughout that whole article. I would feel the same way if it happened to me (as if).

That was like saying that every mum who has a blog, takes photos, has a girl and a dog (with or without balancing abilities) are the same! You should totally switch blogs for a day and see if that writer could tell the difference. Actually I doubt he/she even reads your blogs!

[FabGirl]

OMG, will wonders never cease? I've been reading you because you are YOU and different from so many other "parenting" or "Mommy" blogs. (And fuck do I hate the mommyblogger connotation, because just because we have kids does NOT mean our lives revolve around said children. [mine revolves around wine]) I don't consider myself a mommy blogger because when I started my blog it was mostly about me and freelance writing and as a way to entertain my writerly friends.
Anyway, now that I've hijacked your comments, I just want to say, (for the life of me I can't think of one pithy thing to say) uhm, keep on being you.
God, that was awkward.

[Her Bad Mother]

Yeah, well, you've heard my comment on this already, DOOCENEY. It's all just a bunch of total tardishness. Especially when there are ACTUAL rip-off bloggers out there, borrowing from others' blog names and styles freely and without irony. Which, again, whatever - if that's what floats their boat, fine. But to make comparisons on the basis of hair color and offspring gender? We might as well start a Dooce Copycats Of North America Association.

I'll be Her Bad Dooce, recording secretary. 'Kay, Dooceney?

[Amalah]

Jodifur, since I get called a bad Dooce rip off all the time, I guess that balances it all out?

[NotAMeanGirl]

Errrmmm I commented on her blog. I have no idea if she'll approve it or not. lol

Pissed me right off she did.

[Sugarplumsmom]

I've only recently read Dooce a couple times and though I've seen you linked on several other blogs, this is the first time I've actually read your blog.. and even I found that post offensive.... almost as much as her "what do you think of Dooce?" post... she sounds really jealous of both of you.

[cursingmama]

okay - had to read the little bits first. Umm - what is the Wall Street Journal doing naming anyone "top parenting blogger" maybe widest read - but tops? That would be me :)
At any rate - it all read like comment fishing to me. Something I suck at but try on occasion.

[Sandra]

I never even heard of dooce and came across your fun blog through StumbleUpon. I wouldn't have been thrilled either but Sugarplumsmom is probably on to something with the comment fishing.

I recently added you to my blogroll because you often make me smile but must have done it before my coffee because misspelled it. Anyway, fixed now.

[Don Mills Diva]

Come on now, aren't all mommy blogers really the same person?

Aren't all mommys the same person?

Please say yes - it's so much easier that way.

Sigh.

[laura]

You know what else? Dooce rhymes with goose, which is a farm animal, and Sweetney rhymes with bleet-eee!, which is a sound that a goat, which is also a farm animal, might totally (goatally) make.

The comparisons, they are endless.

[daisybones]

It's fucking insulting to you both, really.

Luckily, assuming the reader has an IQ higher than your beloved doggy, it reflects poorly on the writer of the piece rather than you.

I started reading after a link from the Truthiness stuff, and have kept you snugly in my reader since:)

[Eden]

Damn, I'm glad this has been said.

[Susan]

Well I have no clue who Dooce. Don't care too either. One Sweetney is all I need.

[Emma]

LMAO @ newspaper reporters.

I got a very small blurb written about me in the local paper. Instead of mentioning that I blog about local and national politics, instead of mentioning my posts about current events, instead of mentioning my blogging of the high speed police chase down my residential street, and instead of choosing any other blog post of substance, what entry did the local fishwrap choose to quote? An entry where I wrote about what Al & I had for dinner one night.

Eeediots.

[Marieka]

I agree with the other commenters--superficially, sure, your blog and Heather's have a lot in common, but no one who reads both of your blogs faithfully could mix up the two of you. You're quite distinctive from each other...delightfully so, actually.

I agree with Daisybones--there's something insulting about Kate Shatzkin's tone. I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, though.

[spookiepants]

Reading the comments here and left on the baltimoresun site, all I have to say is "ditto".

I read both you and Dooce for different reasons and similar reasons all the same. You're both strong women with families and doggies, yes. However, you're both very different people who utilize the internet as a sphere of communication about yourselves and your passions. I could also make a similar comparison about probably 500 bloggers out there... I agree that it seems like a ploy to link popular female blog names to an unpopular blog.

It's quite an insult and I'm not sure exactly what the Sun blogger was trying to do. I think it's even more insulting that she wrote her post by saying she wants to imitate the both of you... what happened to just being yourself? I like to think of this as the core point of both Dooce and here - and *that's* the really interesting stuff.

[other sweetney]

I slept with them both and can't tell the difference -- I'd cut the reporter some slack

[FabGirl]

Okay, no one is going to read this at #25 in the commento'sphere but I just read this http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120778656388403417.html?mod=pj_main_hs_coll
and I fell off my chair and died. And then my angel self said I must act all stalkerish and put it on your site (before I clearly go straight to hell).
Are those numbers even remotely close? Please tell me I'm just having vision problems...

[Kayris]

Kate Shatzkin posted an apology, if you want to check it out. I don't think she meant any harm and I think she learned an important lesson about blogging--think twice before you hit the publish button.

[Nicole]

I can't see the harm really. I think she was trying to compliment you. Anyhow, it brought me to your blog and I'm interested to explore it now.

[Karen (miscmum)]

I've sat here for 5 minutes writing and re-writing a comment. I'm not sure what I want to say. I think you said it yourself: It was a reductive article.

No writer/blogger wants their work/blog treated like that.

[Kelley]

I have wandered over to dooce a couple of times. Both times I have thought, Meh, whatever, not for me. She has her place and her gazillion fans but I don't see the worth.

But you? I read one post and subscribed. And I don't subscribe to much. So to me you are worlds apart.

Someone reviewed my blog once and said I was the Aussie version of dooce. He meant it as a compliment. I took it as an insult. Not because I hate her or anything, more that I am so different to her. The comparisons come regardless of what you write.

Now I should wander over and see what the fuss is about huh?

[sweetney]

as i think i stated, i understand that this person meant no harm -- meant well, in fact. i appreciate that it was meant to be complimentary. i just think it was a very poorly thought out and executed bit of writing.

a person can write something that another person finds insulting without a malicious intention to insult being behind it.

i'm not angry. just irritated. dig?

[Jane the Sane]

LOL Name dropping :)

[Karen Sugarpants]

Newspaper people sure bring the LOLZ. While I enjoy both your blogs, I think it's safe to say you are so entirely different from each other and both so unique, that is why you both have seen such success. You're right - it was an 'easy' comparison, if the writer never got past a few clicks on each site. Sheesh.

[Dana]

My haters have thrown those ripoff insults at me before whenever my name comes up in our city mag. Gawd forbid a woman (gasp!) writes a blog (gasp!) and breeds (triple gasp)! Copycats! I want to scream: "Have these tools never read Erma Bombeck??" If we're going to talk prototypes, there it is. The End. The suggestion is a demeaning, impotent insult originated by jealous, under-educated pricks with axes to grind. I know I sound pissy, but hot damn I'm sick of this crap. Keep your chin up, T.

[Fake Jon Stewart]

1. I've never heard of this Dooce-bag.
2. I had no idea Sweetney was a "parenting" blog. (I thought it was a "funny as hell" blog with great writing)
3. Truman oozes entertainment from his pores just by existing. If he didn't you might have to teach him tricks to increase his stock value. But he does, so you don't.
4. As a policy, I never believe anything coming from a newspaper anyway.
5. I'd better come over and give you a foot massage.

[Katie Kat]

Well, if it was a compliment, it was a back-handed one!

Trust me, I read your blog AND Dooce, and you truly are nothing alike. Obviously the gal who wrote that never actually followed either of your blogs, or she'd know that. I think Dooce has a vast array of great qualities and I love reading her blog, but for very different reasons that what I get from Sweetney.com.

I, for one, ADORE the irreverance and coy snarkiness that is my SWEETNEY. Plus, you would be a blast to party with. And you are REAL (not that Dooce isn't any of these things, these are just the things I admire about you). You bear your soul good or bad, and make the rest of us feel just a little more normal ("our" version of normal anyhow)!

AS IF anyone could ever be YOU. Pish Tosh!

Hang in babycakes...

[Sandra]

My comment was somehow attributed to cursing momma, not that I don't curse occasionally. Sandra, I swear.

[Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy)]

Well said. I think the constant mirrors in blog world are sometimes annoying. It's as if everyone has to be compared to an alleged predecessor or at least placed in a category with someone else. And while it's nothing personal in the arena of the person, it's just irritating. Additionally, I adore your blond bob.

[Suzy Q]

You're a mommy blogger? Hmm...I never quite got that.

As to Dooce, I personally think she is WAY overrated. I used to check in on her blog occasionally when she was on Amalah's links page, but now that Amy revamped it and dropped her from the linkroll (which I found to be secretly hilarious since it seemed to me that bloggers were practically REQUIRED to link Dooce), I don't miss her at all.

While she did have the occasional witticism, those ridiculous monthly treatises to her child were incredibly boring. I can just imagine her twenty years from now: "Month 289: My How You've Grown!" Gah.

[Kyla]

So we're all not just emulating Dooce? ;)

(and no, I don't even read her)

[Lotta]

I'm sure it's just because Sweetney has two syllables while Dooce only has one. We don't want to make our reporters think too hard.

And since you didn't leave the comments open on your Dork Mom post I'm leaving one here. So there.

Last night our family was in a computer store and I waited for about 15 minutes behind a bunch of 20 year old men playing a guitar video game. They refused to make eye contact with us or our 3 year old and were clearly on the game for the rest of the night. Maybe these were the same kids you were in class with?

[Thai]

Can I make a Dork Mom comment too? I only wish I had some Dorktastic friends to IM with about Lolcats. My friends are too (un)cool to share my lolcats love. I got a vicarious thrill from your conversation.
As to the Dooce/Sweetney fuss - I haven't read Dooce but can't imagine that ANYBODY can compare to the fun/wit/great writing of your blog.

[mdvelazquez]

I don't see you as similar other than each of you having a blog.

[Kim]

I'm a red-headed 40something twice-divorced single mom of one daughter, mom of two dead daughters blogger. And I'm sure there's others out there too just like me. And to that I say good, someone else knows what it's like.

BTW, I think you look like Drew Barrymore. If I saw you and Dooce in a bar, I'd send you a drink. Dooce looks like she'd beat me up in the parking lot. She's funny, but she scares me.

[Izzy]

ROFL...how did I miss this? Srsly -- WTF???

[Jamie]

I gather her intent was well-meaning, but it's obvious she hasn't been reading either of you for very long.

But I don't think it was meant to be mean spirited at all. (slinks into the corner)

It's probably easy for people "outside" the blogosphere to lump bloggers together in one big ole mosh pit o bloggin'. Mom? Check! Blonde Hair? Check! Daughter(s)? Check! Dog(s)? Check!

By that logic, then you and I are a lot alike on the surface and I'm sure we are very different.

I see your point as well.

Keep on makin' your own mark in the blog world sistah!