Camp Baby: The More You Know (insert rainbow here)

We learned a lot about fomites. Fuckin' fomites, man. (Note: Apparently wearing a 1950's housewife get -up somehow helps when dealing with fomites. Who knew?)

Oh lawdy, people. I swear to you that I've been trying all weekend to come up with something all-encompassing to say about The Joisey Experience, but it's just not flowing. Those of you who have been to BlogHer doubtless remember well that post-trip feeling of "OMFG, how do I even begin to sum this up?", and this conference feels much the same, containing as it did a lot of small, wonderful, hilarious moments that are hard to verbalize (or hard to verbalize in a way that doesn't come off as dorky and sentimental, rather). So, umm, I give up?

Kristen's way of saying she loves me

I guess what I came away with more than anything was a feeling that this is my tribe. Despite the fact that these women may live hundreds of miles away from me, there is some undeniable thread connecting us, a kinship that feels easy and natural and real. I love these ladies. Dammit.

I totally pushed the gorgeous KristinD out of the frame just so I could show everyone the awesome black shit I have caught in my teeth. God, I SO RULE.

Izzy is radiantly glowy and naturally beautiful. And so she must die.

I have no doubt that if Catherine lived in any proximity to me we would be best friends in the traditional sense. And yeah, I'm sad she lives in stupid Canada (shakes fist at mounties and bacon and syrup), but I'm just glad I found her at all, yanno?

LOOK AT THAT CLEAVAGE! LOOOOK AT IT!!!!

So yeah, it was sort of like an extended dance version Girls Night Out mix, and I'm ever so glad I went.

As for the actual content of the conference itself, I think this video of Catherine giving a break-down of one of the sessions we all went to called (I kid you not) "What's Going On Down There?" may serve to enlighten you regarding the garden of womanly delights that we all enjoyed at Camp Baby:

I apologize for the jittery un-steadycam ackshon, but I was laughing so hard I was literally shaking.

. . . . .

PS: Have you We Covet-ed lately? Don't miss out on the awesome. Because, like, DUDE.

Comments

[Dana]

If there is one thing that Camp Baby taught me it is this: I am terrified of my vagina.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I love the irony of the "GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in my photo.

You rock. Point blank.

xox

[Mom101]

You just made me totally wish I was there. At least until the video. Which I only am 1:09 into because Nate just chimed in and said, "ok, enough."

[Jenny]

Would have liked a *little* more info on my next course of action, should I someday find myself stepping out of the shower with my netherparts in said bucket. (Too late to head to the hardware store at that point?)

Otherwise I give Catherine two thumbs up. WAY UP.

[Kristin]

That shit'll crack.

Awesome.

You know how much I enjoyed finally meeting you. I kept trying to recap and the words wouldn't come and I am thinking I will recap in a month or so, when it's awkward and out of context.

Miss you wacky, warm women already.

[mothergoosemouse]

Now I know why I had to stay home. Hearing firsthand that my nether regions are moments away from just, like, FALLING OUT, would be enough to send me spiraling even further into PPD.

Even so, I really missed seeing everyone.

[Her Bad Mother]

Dude. We can like totally be best friends who do pinky swears over the internets. Which, given my ability to be social IRL these days, is prolly more rewarding anyways. Or almost.

xoxoxox

[jess]

awesome.

i love belinda yapping in the background.

looks like a lovely time was had.

[Erika Jurney]

I've been afraid to cough or sneeze since that session.

I will be taking my vagina to Las Vegas next week for a quickie divorce.

[jennster]

i get left out of EVERYTHING. hate.you.all.

[ali]

how on earth did HBM get through 3 minutes and 22 seconds and not completely lose her shit??? nether home? the uterus falling out in the shower? i. am. dying. (also...i'm slightly scared that the whole region is just going to pop the fuck out)

[Angela]

OMG hilarious! I better get some caulking done before we work on our next uterine installation. ROFLMAO!

[torrie]

That video just made my day. And I had a really fucking stressful day.

[FabGirl]

OHMAHGAWD, as a long-time lurker and 1st time commenter, I am SHOCKED and HORRIFIED that my nether regions are going to fall out. LIKE. AT. ANY. MOMENT. I so can't go shopping anymore because what would I do if I heard the page on the intercom, "Uterus clean-up on Aisle 5!" and I realize IT'S MY FAULT? It's waaaay worse than worrying about peeing on the subway.P.S. Your giggling in the background just about made me pee. And I wasn't even on a subway.

[To Think Is To Create]

I think something scary just happened to my nether home just by watching that and laughing myself into a tizzy.

How you even were able to record her without falling over, I'll never know.

[Cheryl]

Holy shiz, dudez. I just had VJ surgery last week to repair my nether home. My last baby went through that shit like a freaking tornado, ripping up the joint. Kegels didn't matter. I'm the damn Empress of Kegels, and I still have a woo-hoo full of stitches right now.

[Kyla]

Caulking and a bucket, check!

This is hilarious, Tracy. Hilarious. And I do love the placement of the GOOD MORNING! in Kristen's lovely shot.

[Izzy]

I can't even bring myself to watch the video, perhaps because I sat through the real thing with my legs tightly crossed and secretly wanting to die of horror the entire time. Must vomit now.

Okay back. I'm having trouble my my lil summary, as well. Perhaps, if I'd had a shittyrottensuckass time (falling uterui — is that a word? — and repeated corporate condescension already accounted for, TYVM) it would actually be easier but alas, my homegirls are entirely too much fun. And Jen B gave me some nifty handmade soap that smells really good (a subtle hint? Ladies? I are smells bad?).

[schmutzie]

I am now fully in love with Catherine.
I almost feel blessed that I am now uterus-free.

[Liz]

And people wonder why I was a little AFRAID of meeting you guys, for real.

Today's mantra: You gots to has a bucket!

[Vi]

WOW! I am insanely grateful I have never pushed a baby through my Va-Jay-Jay.

Thank you oh cautionary tale weavers!!!!!

[Suebob]

I love that woman.

[daysgoby]

How long did it take for y'all to stop laughing once the camera turned off?

Brilliant, both of you!

(must find bukkit)

[Shanti @ Antishay]

That video is possibly the most hilarious thing ever. I nearly fell out of my chair! :D

[jodi]

Best.Video.Ever.... OMG I am cracking up at the incredible recap of that horribly awkward session. How you and Catherine recorded this without breaking down is beyond me.

I need a tee shirt that says "you gots to has a bucket". Seriously.

[Belinda]

Yup, that pretty much says it all. Also, if I'd known you were doing this, I would have moved out of the frame, and also, maybe, have SHUT THE HECK UP FOR TWO SECONDS. Talking about? Chickens. Good Lord, I am tiresome.

[Belinda]

Yup, that pretty much says it all. Also, if I'd known you were doing this, I would have moved out of the frame, and also, maybe, have SHUT THE HECK UP FOR TWO SECONDS. Talking about? Chickens. Good Lord, I am tiresome.