Sweetney

Her: Hey! Don't fast forward through commercials! I LIKE the commercials! Me: They're just trying to sell you stuff, M. Stuff we don't need. Her: HUSSSSSSH! HUSH, LITTLE BABY! Capitalism: 1, Parenting: 0. (Speaking of capitalism: Awesome Radiohead kids shirt and others yonder.) (We also got the Beastie Boys tee.) MORE>>

As much as I love my daughter, and lawd knows I do in great big gobs, I may soon need to move to a residence separate from the one she lives in. Just for a little while. Just until she becomes, you know, SANE AGAIN. I'm not sure when all of this began. Maybe two weeks ago? That's when I... MORE>>

Listen, you people with the bands, making up the dumb band names up? You need to cut that shit out. Perhaps I'm alone in this, but lately it seems to me as if there's some kind of contest going on for who can come up with the most ridiculous, dorktastic rock band name of them all, and that increasingly the... MORE>>

Garage band retro Strokestastic, this is irresistibly catchy pop candy. Enjoy! MORE>>

Part I: Her: “Mommy, what's a tampon?” Me, glossingly: “Uhh, it's something women use during their periods. cough.” (perplexed pause) Her: “What's a period?” [audiable countdown emanating from my skullcase]: beep... beep... beep... beep... Part II: Checkout girl at grocery store, after bagging my groceries and piling them haphazardly on the conveyor-belt beside her: “Have a nice day! Do you... MORE>>

(Because we heart the kitty in all her myriad forms.) MORE>>