Sweetney

I'm more like a BetaMom, if we're being perfectly honest

Last year at BlogHer, the fine ladies over at AlphaMom asked to interview me. And I was all “BRING IT, ANCIENT GREEK ALPHABET BITCHES!” (because I'm classy like that), and then unwisely proceeded to drink my weight in Yahootinis (something of a feat of strength), and plop myself down in a hotel room chair before the shimmering visage of Leah of LeahPeah to get mah semi-inebriated chitty-chat on.

The non-BlogHer BlogHer post

Those of you who read blogs by women are, as you may or may not be aware, about to be inundated with posts about and related to the upcoming BlogHer conference, taking place in Chicago in about two weeks. Many bloggers I know -- some of whom I consider dear friends -- are going, and of late the subject of the conference has come up in conversation and communication more times than I can count, invariably in the form of something like “Oh, and I'll be seeing you at BlogHer!” Which, all things considered, is a fair assumption, granted.

But I'm not going.

I'm not going to BlogHer. There, I said it.

I'll let y'all marinate in that for a moment. And alert the media. (snort.)

You Sound Dumb.

You guys read I, Asshole, right? Well if you don't (though you should), here's something to whet yer whistle.

I met her last weekend, and she does indeed kick this much ass in-person.

The Mommyblogging Panel.

This photo by Eden is far and away my favorite of the entire conference, because it sort of crystallizes an external expression of what I felt internally over the four days: gape-mouthed, dazed, overwhelmed.

Before the time of the panel arrived I'd talked a good game about not worrying about it or being at all nervous. And I honestly wasn't, until I sat down next to Alice and asked her how she was doing. “I'm really nervous. I don't know why, but I am” she replied. And that's when my flimsy house of cards sort of crumbled: ALICE is nervous? OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! RED ALERT! RED MOTHERFUCKING ALERT, MAN!

The rest of the panel is sort of a blur for me. I think I made some grunting sounds at one point, and may have tried to lay my head in Alice's lap. Good times.

PS: Unrelatedly, it is supposed to be 102 degrees today here in Baltimore, with a heat index of 115. Which means that by late afternoon I'll likely look something like this:

Face meltastic!

BlogHer II: The Revenge.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a way to summarize my BlogHer experience, but I've never been terribly adept at the art of retrospective encapsulation, so whenever I think about it (and, more importantly, think about writing about it) I experience some sort of paralyzing brain-freeze. It was really too big of an experience to whittle down and make manageable, concise, readable. But what I will say is that I was absolutely overwhelmed -- nay, fucking shocked -- at people's warm and enthusiastic reception of me. You know, you write all of this stuff on the interweb, and see (via the wonders and terrors of stat counting) that people are reading it, but it all seems sort of abstract and unreal in some way. But at BlogHer, every time I turned around I'd run into another real live flesh-and-blood person who actually seemed to like me, to like sweetney, and after a day or two of this I was walking around in a fog, dazed and confused by all the love.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, of course. More love? BRING IT, SUCKAS.

No One Gets Out Of Here Alive.

I'm writing from Chicago's O'Hare Airport, having been left here to die by my long-time arch nemesis, American Airlines.

When will I learn to not be lured into their steely grasp by the enticement of (relatively) low airfares, when honest and for true I know full well that I'll end up paying in emotional anguish and precious time wasted in airport purgatory?

Am I such a bad girl? Do I really need to be punished so?

Anyway, until I return to sweetneydom -- after I have my life reconstructed at home and get to spend a good long while gently nuzzling my girl (I briefly spotted a 3-year-old girl on the plane from San Jose to Chicago, and I think I may have spontaneously blown an ovary) -- please do help yourself to a heaping troughful of tasty photos ala BlogHer.

And to everyone I met, saw, and spent even a few fleeting moments with in Cali: Thank you for making the past four days so lovely for me. I only wish I could've spent more time with each of you. For reals. sniff.

/end sap

Geeks In Love.

Me and Marrit, yesterday morning.

Today's the panel I'm speaking on. Wish me luck.

gulp.

EDIT: For those interested, you can get a rough-cut, unedited audiocast of my panel here...

The BlogHer Has Landed.

I'm back in Cali, Cali, Cali, and its been a whirlwind 24 hours accompanied by the anthemic chorus of my nasal passages unsuccessfully attempting to expell their mighty payload of snot throughout. Yes, I'm still just a wee bit stuffy, and as a bonus, the constant squealing and motormouthing BlogHer engenders is causing my voice to deepen to a husky, Kathleen-Turner-meets-Harvey-Firestein tone that is SO becoming. By the time of my panel on Saturday, I may just have Alice speak for me, she of course being the Miracle Worker to my Helen Keller.

I know I'm not making any sense. Just roll with it, dogg.

Some things of note that must be recorded, even in my mildly psychotic state, for posterity:

The Day Before: Crap I'm Doing While Waiting To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge.

I'm stealing Amy's live blogging idear today (but we're friends, so she can suck it (and I of course mean “suck it” with love)), because though I have a quadrillion things to do I'm also so hyper-charged with impending BlogHerdom nervousness that I can't focus for more than three seconds on anything. So behold the glory brought to you by control-refresh and my brain on BlogHer:

AM:
9:50: I'm in a cleaning frenzy, because god knows Jamie isn't going to be doing crap while I'm gone, and I can't bear the thought of coming home to a full week's worth of filth. I also woke up this morning with a very-not-cool tickle in my throat, the sort that suggests coming illness. But goddamn it, I'm going all Jedi Mind-Trick on my own ass, and absolutely REFUSE to succumb. Take that, ominous throat tickle!

9:55: Have you seen this? Or this? snorfle. Okay, time to vacuum!

10:38: American Airlines, I ask you: what is the point of getting an E-Ticket if you can't get seat assignments and thus have to go through the entire freaking check-in process at the airport anyway? Assholes.

I Wanna Be Sedated.

Over the course of this past weekend Jamie and I would, every so often, stop dead in our tracks and turn to the other and say: “Do you realize how much the next week is going to suck?”

We have, umm, a lot going on. This morning, Jamie left at some absurd hour before dawn to head to NYC for this event (heads up, NYC peeps!), from which he returns Wednesday night, just in time for me to hit the road for BlogHer. And of course both of us have had oodles of stuff to do for each of these, so its been feeling a little madcap around here, though not in the fun, zany I Love Lucy sort of way. Unfortunately.

In the midst of all of this generalized hubbub, my parents returned to DC from South Africa, where they'd been living for the past four years. So on Sunday, M_ and I drove down to Northern Virginia -- tedious land of generic strip malls and atrociously expensive cookie-cutter housing -- to pay them a little visit. M_ was, in a word, ecstatic. Because my parents have been overseas since before her birth, and because Jamie's parents live a couple hours away and we don't see much of them, it truly is as if she just fully realized: Hey, there are these people called Grandparents who like to lavish me with attention and toys and ice cream! Grandparents, where have you been all my life (and when can I come live with you?)?

I've Been Tagged.

I am powerless before The Meme, and therefore must comply (to understand from whence this came, go here).

What can I learn about you in under 5 minutes? When did you start blogging and why?
My about page does a pretty good job covering the basics and a good chunk of my history. Beyond that, I'd fill in with: I'm a huge geek, with a penchant for both indie film and bad reality tv, a lover of both the high and the low culture (not that I even buy into that distinction, but you get my drift). I'm an introvert in extrovert's clothing, gregarious and open, but a lover of solitude. I can find humor in almost anything, and am deeply charmed by people with dry, sarcastic wit. I'm fiercely loyal to friends, but it can take a while to get beyond some initial reserve I put up. I love nothing more than good guacamole, and a Campari with soda (though not necessarily together).

I started blogging about 3-4 years ago on LiveJournal, and switched over to sweetney a little over 2 years ago. The impetus clearly was being a stay at home mom, and having little contact with people in similar situations who I could relate to. Since then, blogging has become -- for better or worse (and I would say better) -- a central part of my life, as previously discussed.

[Note: I'm changing the 2nd question from the one The Queen used, as I don't have a body part photo to share]
Who do you read every day, rain or shine?
On the days they post, I never miss Heather, Alice, Eden, Melissa, Jen, Amy, Marrit, and Beth. I read a ridiculous amount of blogs though, and were I to list all of my must-reads, your head might explode.

How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life? Are you nervous?
Having met a fair number of bloggers already in “real life”, I'm pretty comfortable with the concept, generally speaking, but BlogHer this year looks to be so ridiculously massive that I'm honestly a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of people going that I can't wait to meet. I'm sort of torn between alternating feelings of salivating excitement and what amounts to an anxiety attack -- and I'm not usually one for social anxiety. Expect me to fluctuate between hysterical excitement and gentle weeping, as I'll likely be somewhat overwhelmed by all the bloggy goodness (if happily so).

Important question. How do you party?
With a drink in one hand, and a cigarette in another. I think what I look forward to most about BlogHer is just hanging out with all of you ladies, drinkin' and chattin'. Cannot. Wait.

Are you and your blogging persona the same person?
Yep. If you read sweetney, expect more of the same, but with additional dorky facial expressions and lots of hand gesturing.

I'm tagging the aforementioned Melissa, Jen, Amy, Marrit, and Beth. Oh c'mon, you know you wanna!

PS: Relatedly, check out this piece from The Boston Globe about BlogHer.

With Blogs Like These, Who Needs Friends?

Last night I ran across this spot-on post (and the related article on Mamazine) from Kristen, and it got me to thinking about how much of what could pass for my social life is, in fact, transacted online.

Over the past ten years, about 90% of my relationships with people have somehow resulted from online interaction in one form or other. And I guess if there's any sort of problem with that fact, its that over the past five or so years, as I've become more and more deeply involved in online communities and blogs, the vast majority of people I've ended up feeling really connected to for whatever reason live outside of my physical geography. I'm lucky to have met several Baltimore-area women I like through online means, but in truth I don't see much of them. Partly this is related to the overriding fast and furious rhythm of modern life -- each of us scurrying about in our own small lives, getting things done that need to get done, keeping our heads above water -- but I know that isn't a complete explanation.

Greetings And Salutations.

Top o' the mornin', friends! A few bits and pieces:

* Threadless $10 sale ends tomorrow! Also, did you notice that they now have kids tees (also for $10 until tomorrow)?

* Watched Jesus Is Magic last night, and despite really wanting to like it -- loving the funny broads as I do -- my overall impression was decidedly “Meh”. For much of it I laughed not at all, though perhaps the film would be more enjoyable if I, say, downed a few shots of bourbon beforehand or something. Booze: The Wonder Drug That Works Wonders!

Next up: Dave Chappelle's Block Party, and you can bet your sweet ass intoxicating substances will NOT be needed for that one, suckas.

* You really must listen to this. Heh.

* BlogHer headcount: Who's going? And will you be put off if I screech your name from across a crowded room, and then proceed to physically tackle you and kiss you full on the mouth? Huh?

* File under: What, Like I'm Not Under Enough Pressure As A Parent Already?: Now I have to make SILLY CAKES?!?

* Yes indeedy, I'm all over the place today. Deal with it (you have no choice, really).

* Need a little hope and solace regarding energy and the environment? Jon's got you covered (that's MY Jon, bitches!).

My work is done here.

Your Two Cents Wanted.

Hey, so Elisa put up this post over at BlogHer to get a discussion going about the (gulp) panel I'm on... I'd be interested to hear your thoughts (here, or over at BlogHer) about what you'd like to talk about in July. Any particulars you'd like to have addressed? Questions you'd like answered? Thoughts you'd like to float? I don't wanna bore ya'll, so feel free to also note things that you DON'T want to hear about.

Help a sista out, yo.

Meanwhile, Over At BlogHer & Club Mom.

I gush and I chortle.

And now I'm exhausted.

Meanwhile, Over At Blogher.

Stirring the pot, stirring the pot...

PS: For your totally random, unrelated amusement: 50 Animals Driving.

Today I Did A New Trick.

I blogged about blogs with bloggers contemplating blogging, specifically blogger's block and not blogging/quitting blogging (over at BlogHer, of course!).

...And so it came to pass that the word 'blog' and all variations thereof were stricken from the English Language by its users in disgust.

I'm really rather pleased with myself at the moment.

Psst!

Check out Session #1.

Do you guys think this means I'll have to, umm, talk and stuff?

By the way, I'll officially be freaking the fuck out ALL DAY EVERY DAY starting in about, oh, 127 days. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, Over At BlogHer.

I'm sure you've been seething over all of this in my absence, but just in case you missed your opportunity to, umm, seethe...

And yes, I'm well aware of the fact that I owe ya'll about 50 New Orleans-related posts. Don't you worry your pretty little heads, they're a-comin'.

meanwhile, over at BlogHer.

i kid because i love.

meanwhile, over at BlogHer.

i'm speading the love around for Valentine's Day.

meanwhile, over at BlogHer.

me posty bloggy goodness.

the PG-Rated version.

your wish is my command.

the blogher, she is live.

bursting with beta-y goodness and awaiting your inspection.

i can be found over yonder.

let me know what ya'll think...

ps: expect some hiccups today on the site (i just went over to check things out and found the old BlogHer blog in place, not the new site beta, for example); but keep checking back, as the kinks will no doubt work themselves out as the day progresses.

UPDATE: yep, the site is wonky. i imagine the traffic is pretty intense. i can't even get to the mommy & family area as of this update...

don't hate me because i'm BlogHerful.

because i am one to never mention anything i'm doing until the last possible minute (i blame the brain damage): hey kids! i'm going to be a contributing editor on the new BlogHer site!* which is launching, umm, in two days! just thought i'd, uhh, letcha know! and, umm, sorry i didn't mention that earlier! [slowly backs out of the room]

but anyway (cough), the really super cool thing about doing this is that i get to openly and wantonly -- with abandon and extreme prejudice of the sort only the likes of nick nolte knows -- shamelessly pimp the crap out of blogs i love by ladies i love. of which there are many. because, you know, i get around.

yes, in that way.

so check back at BlogHer on monday and have a looksee at the new digs. i'll be there, skulking about the “mommy & family” section (because AGAIN, lest ye forget, I'M A FUCKING MOMMYBLOGGER!**).

a brief intermission in my baroque opera of frustrated rage.

the GLOM just hit me with some more love; apparently a few emails got lost in the shuffle somehow:

from Melissa S. -
It's really difficult to make one of my hugs more awkward, but Tracey did it. There were stuttering moves to embrace and there were odd body positions and then neither of us knew when to let go. It was like time stood still and the world stopped and all that existed in that moment was this hug. This very, very odd hug. Along with being my awkwardly hugging kin, she's also cynical, smart, well rounded and she finds all the best links.

from Heather Armstrong -
Tracey is an incredible asset to this online community. She's an an amazing cheerleader for all of us, for who we are and what we stand for. I really feel like she has stood up not just for mothers who blog but for women who blog, for women who are trying to make a hobby or job out of this medium, and I'm so glad she's on our side. I can't imagine a better advocate.

these almost make up for the stupid D-50 debacle. almost.

yes, i am a small, sad person. but have you seen that camera?!?!

in praise of my tongue.

aww, shucks.

you guys! [sniff]

EDIT: because you can't get enough of me talking about, uhh, blarghs and shit.

EDIT DEUX: i feel i should say a word or two about why i chose this entry as the piece to be featured on mommybloggers... but all i can really come up with is that i asked a few long-time readers for their thoughts on a “best of”, and all of them separately mentioned this post as a favorite. apparently, my long-time readers are masochists.

i also thought that for people who don't normally read sweetney it showed a different facet of what i've been up to here, since the lion's share of the content about me on mommybloggers sort of revolved around SUPER-HAPPY-FUNNY-TRACEY, which is of course not really the full picture. that's right, i'm coming out as GOTH. heh.

funny: the first comment on it over at the mommybloggers site: “too depressing -”. you said it, sister.

contributing editor positions at blogher.

check it, peoples.

because i don't have enough to do in a day [snort] i'm going to be one of the two “mommy and family”* editors, along with jenn satterwhite... but there are still openings in: entertainment & arts (ms. domestic!! loooook!!!); fashion & shopping; health & wellness; hobbies; law; politics & news (righty); race & ethnicity; religion & spirituality; research & academia; travel & recreation, plus some international slots.

it would behoove you to jump on that shit pronto, pardners.

*because, lest ye forget: I'M A MOMMYBLOGGER, MOFOS!!!

Technorati Tags: blogging, blogs, internet, news, web

mommy+blogging.

here's the deal: i'm going to be profiled on mommybloggers.com beginning the week of january 9th, and the Gorgeous Ladies Of Mommybloggers (or, heh, GLOM) are soliciting reader comments about lil' ol' moi for some sort of lovefest they're devising. i say all of this only as set-up for the following email thread sent to me by the irrepressible styro (this is all going somewhere, don't worry):

take back the mommy blog.

the best of the blogs are accepting noM_tions.... and so i threw a vote in for the most deserving alice in the mommy blogs category.

because, guys, WE ALL LOVE DOOCE, but c'mon! give some other lady a fighting chance, why doncha?

[thanks, paige.]

“blogher backlash.”

you have got to be fucking kidding me.

blogher recap: let's do this.

all of this is going to sound corny and sappy, but there's really no way around that, so here goes.

i have never, in my entire life, felt such warmth and kinship among so many women, many of whom i'd not only never met before, but did not even know existed prior to saturday. there was something quite honestly magical about our time there, something that defies description (maybe that's a cop-out, but when i scour my brain trying to come up with a way of articulating the overwhelming sense of community and acceptance i think everyone present felt, i come up empty. maybe i need a more expansive thesaurus or something.). i wish there had been more time to talk to everyone, to meet everyone, to laugh with everyone. my list of awesome beeyatches includes some of the friendliest, kindest, and most warm-hearted women i've met in a long, long time, and i hope we'll all keep in touch, keep reading each others lives, and keep that feeling of support and camaraderie gleaned from blogher alive.

to heather and maggie: my one regret from this weekend is that i didn't get the chance to talk to you both more... that i didn't get into town in time friday night to sit and drink tequila with you both, to tell you both how funny and beautiful and inspiring you are to me (hopefully without sounding like a fucking idiot), to laugh with you about bodily functions and children and reality television and ADVANCED TOOLS. sigh. another time then, yes?

now here comes the hard part. gah.

to the ladies i spent the lion's share of the weekend with -- alice, mrs. kennedy, jen, and melissa: you are my sisters. because, seriously, if i could choose siblings, you guys would be it. melissa, my younger sister, who is a fucking RIOT in addition to being tender and honest to a fault; jen, my humble and sensitive sister, so loving and funny that i was taken aback at your interest in little old me; alice, my charming and hilarious and beautiful sibling, who in the course of a mere 24 hours made me feel more understood and at ease than i had felt in years; and, oh my, eden, who the mere thought of fills me with feelings of unfiltered adoration, and whose grace and quiet humor is something for me to aspire to.

okay you whores, now I'M CRYING. damn you, melissa! [shakes fist]

[blows nose, recomposes self]

you are all hereby officially invited to baltimore for a big-ass slumber party, and the sooner the better. i mean it. let's make some plans, ladies!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

[collapses in emotionally spent, shapeless heap]

she's a good writer. for a mommy blogger.

at several points during blogher, strangers asked me what my blog is/is about. to which i typically replied something resembling the following: “uhh...i dunno. other people would probably call it a mommy blog. because i'm a mommy. and its a blog. but its really about me; my child is in it because that is a part of my life, but its not the focus of my content. there's a lot of other crap thrown in there too -- things that amuse and interest me....” which sounds like i doth protest too much, right?

so fuck it people, what's so funny about peace, love and mommy blogs? why not be like Ice Cube (and really, who couldn't use to be a little more like Ice Cube?); take it back (Mommy Bloggers With Attitude) and say: fuck you, you've got nothing now.

hi, my name is tracey. and i'm a mommy blogger.

bite me, bigots.

more blogher detritus.

submitted for your approval... because frankly i'm AGONIZING [<-- and just so i don't have to be obnoxious and actually do it, imagine that single word writ in 18pt bold font, flashing red, with tiny cheesy lightning bolts shooting out of it to symbolize my intensity] over writing *the post* -- you know, the one where i'm supposed to detail everything, and capture and articulate the substance of my weekend at blogher, and do justice to the conference itself as well as the fine ladies i spent the majority of my time with.

ugh. great, now i feel nauseous.

so while i find my nerves, here's some goodness:

*an incomplete list of awesome beeyatches i met this weekend:
mandajuice
no fancy name
socalmom
threekidcircus
unholysmell
fresnofamous
mommyneedscoffee
notcalmdotcom
themommyblog
i'mablogging

i know i've left off many people, so please have mercy on my broken, alzheimersesque brain and send me your URL if you and i met, however briefly, so i can add ya. seriously, dudes.

note: regarding alice, mrs. kennedy, jen, melissa, heather and maggie: i'll be writing more about those whores later, don't you worry.

and here's some more pictures i took.
and here's some more pictures other people took that i like.

i know. i'm such a coward.

when the blogher's over.

the past two days have been amazing, and i promise a substantial entry after my return to baltimore. had some great experiences, made some amazing friends, and indeed did laugh so hard last night -- courtesy of a story involving gigantic panties told by alice -- that i almost peed my pants. i couldn't have had a better time, period. so much so that i'm honestly sad to leave it all.

but leave it i must. i'll now shower, pack, and go meet alice, mrs. kennedy, and jen for our farewell breakfast (sniff). i've never been much of a plane sleeper, but i'm hoping i'll be able to zonk out for a bit today on the way home, as i think i've had a grand total of *maybe* 10 hours sleep over the course of the past two days... which might not sound all that rough, but with all the ass-hauling i've been doing round these parts (plus a little jet-lag) i think i can safely say i'm working in the red zone of the sleep deficient.

much more to come when i'm safely back in charm city, yo.

more blogher pix.

i'll actually add some written content soon, but i'm leaving my computer back at the hotel for the time being since i'm developing some sort of shoulder-slumping disability lugging it around the conference.
some photos from my lunch table, and the conference session “how to be naked”:

i made mrs. kennedy cry. no, i'm kidding, she's laffing... i think.


alice gives me her sexiest look.


mighty back.


carbs gooooood.


gesturing heather.


smiley heather.


jen tells everyone to stick it. TO THE MAN, THAT IS.


how to be naked.


contemplative heather.

more soon...

our story so far.

as people were filing into the main conference space, they were BLASTING shania twain and sheryl crow, complete with videos of the songs on the screen shown below. my eyes, they were a-rollin'.

the opening remarks...


file under: can die happy now: i was pulled over by mrs. kennedy to this table: (left to right: melissa of suburbanbliss, maggie of mighty girl, mrs. kennedy of fussy) and...


(heather of dooce, alice of finslippy, and jen of jenandtonic.) dude, its the GLOB (Gorgeous Ladies Of Blogging)!

that i was seated at this table bloggles the mind. oops, i mean BOGGLES the mind. heh.

one for my homies.

keepin' it real with my DEFEND BALTIMORE tshirt. werd to yer mutha.

i'm here at the conference, already hungover after last night's escapades with a bunch of bloggers whose names i can't recall. YES, it was one of those nights. thank god i got all of their blog business cards. and incidentally, when they all simultaneously whipped out their cards to give to me i nearly wept, as i felt like the biggest fucking dork in the universe making my own cards shortly before i left, and was sure that i was going to be the only one geeky enough to print business cards for their friggin' blog.

but no, as it turns out, I AM AMONG MY PEOPLE.