I has deadly alien spawn
September 16, 2008 | Comments: 48
Here's something you should know about me: occasionally I get bizarre ideas in my head about things I should do, or be, or have -- ideas I can't seem to let go of until they are brought to fruition in a manner that satisfies the brain-itching compulsion behind the bizarre idea, a compulsion that typically appears to be irrational, or...
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Emotional commerce
April 30, 2008 | Comments: 21
What is it with men and money? To be more specific, is there something imprinted on their DNA that loosely translates to: Money is the salve for all ills, and the favored medium of communication with all other humans? Allow me explain why I ask. After I picked M up from preschool yesterday we headed over to our local market...
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When Truthiness becomes TMI
March 19, 2008 | Comments: 49
First off, at the risk of sounding cornball, I cannot for the life of me adequately express how all of these photos and all of these posts -- by so many amazing, brave, beautiful women I can't even list them all here -- have inspired me. I've been completely floored and humbled by the response, by the honesty and courage...
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Kid A
March 7, 2008 | Comments: 0
Her: Hey! Don't fast forward through commercials! I LIKE the commercials! Me: They're just trying to sell you stuff, M. Stuff we don't need. Her: HUSSSSSSH! HUSH, LITTLE BABY! Capitalism: 1, Parenting: 0. (Speaking of capitalism: Awesome Radiohead kids shirt and others yonder.) (We also got the Beastie Boys tee.)
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Declutter Mission Improbable
September 10, 2007 | Comments: 10
A post which should probably be subtitled: Oh My God My House Is In Dilapidated Shambles And How Did I Ever Let Things Get To This Point iiiieeeeeee! (A bit wordy that, I admit. Obviously we'll edit it down for the film version). About every six months or so I wake up one day, take a look around at my...
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Dear America
September 8, 2007 | Comments: 10
You need help. We all need help. Because this? THIS is a problem: I only say this because I love you. But no, for serious: Professional. Fucking. Help. (shudder)
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Know your prehistory
August 27, 2007 | Comments: 0
How adorable and awesome is this poster? (View letters embiggened) Just bought one for M for her upcoming birthday... Shh! Don't tell her!
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What's in yer wallet, beeeyotch?
August 2, 2007 | Comments: 13
I had a rather interesting consumer experience the other day that I feel the need to share with you here, as I think y'all might find it informative and instructive (or, umm, something). And what am I here for, if not for the betterment and uplift of all humankind? snort. Anyway, yesterday I went to get the mail as I...
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Coke Is It
July 12, 2007 | Comments: 9
Today I couldn't be prouder -- as an American and as a consumer -- since on this very special day, direct from the annals of wacked-out marketing, it is my distinct pleasure and honor to present: Diet Coke Plus. Its like drinking battery acid, but with vitamins and shit in it! Woohoo!
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I'll have what they're having
June 1, 2007 | Comments: 7
Oh for the good ol' days, back when new mothers were encouraged to drink and smoke up! Umm, I mean, FOR SHAME!
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Nu Shoez
March 19, 2007 | Comments: 14
We spent three freakin' hours at Stride Rite yesterday (NO EXAGGERATION), battling parent-child throngs who were, like us, hellbent on taking advantage of the last day of their Spring sale. But, as you'll see below, I think its safe to say that our epic Mall-bound suffering was worthwhile and not in vain: Cutest. Shoes. EVAH. Its like a whole cadre...
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Yet another sign that Target has my number
March 8, 2007 | Comments: 8
During a little pre-SXSW trip provisions-gathering jaunt yesterday, M spied this little number at the Tar-shay and demanded I purchase it for her: Its HELLO KITTY PIRATE. Because clearly the people at Target have somehow tapped my brain stem, and are funneling my deepest unspoken consumer desires directly into the design and production departments for their retail outlets. Its almost...
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Please correct me if I'm wrong...
March 7, 2007 | Comments: 8
But having any sort of life outside the computer to speak of is probably pretty much over now, right? [shakes fist at Danny]
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One Laptop Per Child
February 19, 2007 | Comments: 5
I'd heard about this, as you probably have, but I hadn't yet seen the OLPC XO Computer in detail before reading this piece. Its such a wonderful program, and I hadn't expected the design to be so, well, garsh darn cute. Plus, for $130 a pop, once these babies are available in the states they could definitely serve as a...
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Its The End Of The World As We Know It, And My Teeth Sound Like Jamiroquai
January 31, 2007 | Comments: 6
Oh the endless drudgery of teeth brushing, when will it ever end? <<< SHAZAM! >>> Well all I can say is thank god for that. Because I don't know about you, but I can't wait to insert a little bit of Queen PHYSICALLY INTO MY SKULL. I think I need to go lie down now.
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Sweetney.com's Great Moments In Advertising: The “Who Would You Give A Volvo To?” Campaign
January 30, 2007 | Comments: 14
Whoever came up with this ad has quite clearly been living my life: So, so good (and so on-the-money). EDIT: Speaking of good advertising, Danny from Dad Gone Mad just hepped me to this video ad, which is (in a wholly different way from the Volvo advert) totally amazing.
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Scooba Dooba Doo
January 5, 2007 | Comments: 11
One deeply discounted Scooba floor washing robot: $190 Irritation at having to move all our floor-level crap out of the kitchen before letting Scooba loose: Mild Noise of working Scooba as it scours: Average shrill vacuum cleaner-level Not having to ever wash our floors again myself: Priceless
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Honey?
January 3, 2007 | Comments: 4
Just had to quickly share this: M_ has been weirdly obsessed with the image from this Threadless T-shirt for the past month (she caught me looking at it on my laptop, and completely lost her proverbial shit over it). As in, its become one of her stock jokes (“Honey?”) and the image itself is now installed as the desktop wallpaper...
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Xmas Shopping Countdown: 14 days
December 11, 2006 | Comments: 6
This isn't how you planned it. You were supposed to be done with holiday shopping by now, a mere two weeks before xmas. But you aren't. And, more than that, you're tired and out of gift ideas and on a kind of zombified autopilot, counting down the last days of work before your vacation. The thought of searching around for...
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For The Rest Of Us
November 30, 2006 | Comments: 5
Dudes. No, seriously. DUDES. No, wait. Scratch that. DOOOOODS!: But really, dudes, c'mon. HAPPY FESTIVUS! [This post brought to you by dude.]
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Product Placement II*: The Deodorizing
November 4, 2006 | Comments: 0
Dear makers of Tidy Cats Scoop Small Spaces Cat Litter**, Thank you for making my household not smell like cat pee. I love you. No, seriously. Yours very truly, Sweetney .................... * Second of a series. **With which I have absolutely NO affiliation whatsoever, monetary or otherwise, so get off my jock already, asshats.
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The Fruits Of Capitalism V. My Immortal Soul*
November 1, 2006 | Comments: 14
I need to be honest with you about something. I still entertain the (likely vain) hope that I might one day be able to live in a space such as this:
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Bag Lady In Training
September 25, 2006 | Comments: 6
Proof that, for better or worse, she has her mother's taste: I'll have you know that she picked this coat out herself. I'm tempted to start calling her Little Edie. PS: Edited to add linky-love: this is good. And so is this.
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Greetings And Salutations.
June 14, 2006 | Comments: 18
Top o' the mornin', friends! A few bits and pieces: * Threadless $10 sale ends tomorrow! Also, did you notice that they now have kids tees (also for $10 until tomorrow)? * Watched Jesus Is Magic last night, and despite really wanting to like it -- loving the funny broads as I do -- my overall impression was decidedly “Meh”....
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Body Double.
June 9, 2006 | Comments: 25
Or: Me and my big, fat computer-generated ass. The time of year has come that many of us, myself included, dread: swimsuit season. In about three weeks, Jamie, M_ and I are headed to Delaware's Bethany Beach to a beach house we've rented, and I couldn't be more geeked. It'll be a whole week of total relaxation, sans the typical...
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Disappointing The Internet... AGAIN.
June 8, 2006 | Comments: 17
New Glasses Update! I am now in possession of The New Glasses. And I'm sad to say that, despite trying on like a bajillion pairs of horn-rimmed glasses and variations on the theme of horn-rimmed glasses, that particular avenue became a stylistic dead-end. An ugly, freakish dead-end. For though I love the style, the style does not love me. Instead...
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Grrrrls Who Wear Glasses.
June 6, 2006 | Comments: 19
A momentous moment of momentousness is upon us, friends. It is a day that comes perhaps once every decade. TRACEY IS GOING TO GET NEW GLASSES TOMORROW. I KNOW! AREN'T YOU JUST GOING TO LOSE YOUR SHIT?!?! Okay, so perhaps everyone isn't as excited about this as I am. Understandable. But maybe helping me decide what style of glasses to...
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Small Roar.
June 2, 2006 | Comments: 1
Shopping alert! Incredibly adorable and cool baby clothes, made by a friend of a friend. Were M_ still baby-nuggety, you know she'd be wearing this.
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For Your Addiction.
May 24, 2006 | Comments: 6
Get a cool tshirt, and in the process donate $5 to the American Red Cross. Its a win-win, man! ps: I am SO getting this one, too (zoom to read text).
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Mmm... Delicious (Cheap) Booooze...
May 22, 2006 | Comments: 3
Dreams DO come true, friends. WOOT!
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Inspired.
May 9, 2006 | Comments: 1
From this, to this. Now THAT'S a tribute!
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Warning: Dorks Lurk Within.
April 18, 2006 | Comments: 1
This should serve as sufficient warning to visitors, doncha think? Its little things like this, cobbled together over the course of one's lifetime, that make life joyful and worthwhile. (Well this and, you know, people and friends and shit. Or whatever.)
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Science-Dropping Sidetracked.
April 3, 2006 | Comments: 4
In favor of oggling here. I mean, Columbines! And uhh this, whatever it is! I think we're gonna need a bigger yard.
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Adorable Puppies and Horsies [heart] sweetney.com Tees.
February 22, 2006 | Comments: 3
do not run away from the puppy love. i'm not glue! i'm a hoomanbeeeeing! Resistance is futile. GIVE UP, ALREADY. Special thanks to pitcher-taking puppy/horsie-wielding Belinda, who is so totally my pimp. More almost unbearable cuteness for those with the internal fortitude to take it, after the jump...
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curses! foiled again!
February 10, 2006 | Comments: 5
how is it that every single time woot offers a bag o' crap i somehow manage to miss it? i sense some sort of cosmic conspiracy afoot. perhaps one involving, ahem, dead aliens. [shakes angry fist at universe] but in an effort to keep things positive in the face of justifiable wootrage, let us now turn our attention to uplift...
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for the love of mrs. kennedy.
February 9, 2006 | Comments: 7
we the people of the united states of america speak as one: please send more drugs.
February 7, 2006 | Comments: 8
so i just saw one of those slick, cinematic pharmaceutical company commercials with dulcet-toned voiceovers and lots of vigorous, energetic people of indeterM_te age Being Active in various upper-middle-class-looking situations and environments, hawking a drug designed to treat something called Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). and i have to say that i think something about this commercial disagreed with my central...
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the last of tshirt mania for a while.
February 6, 2006 | Comments: 1
presenting the official sweetney.com tee: available for your ordering pleasure in a multitude of forms/styles here. an instant classic, sure to be worth meeeeeellions of dollars by the decade's end, blah blah blah. plus its pretty freakin' adorable.
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meanwhile, over at BlogHer.
February 3, 2006 | Comments: 3
i'm speading the love around for Valentine's Day.
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the PG-Rated version.
January 30, 2006 | Comments: 8
your wish is my command.
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i sure do swear a lot.
January 30, 2006 | Comments: 1
file under i should've thought of doing this and made ONE MEEEELLION DOLLARS: the snapshirts blog shirt. they scan your site and generate a “word cloud” from commonly used words. then they slap that sucker on a t-shirt. kinda nifty... in a totally egocentric, navel-gazey sort of way. and of course we all know bloggers wouldn't have the least bit...
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greetings from HELL.
January 19, 2006 | Comments: 4
no, not SLC -- dallas, tx. and why am i in dallas, you ask? well we stupidly missed out 8am flight this morning (and please do note that it is presently 5:30pm); totally our bad, but the result of a confluence of small, bad things we should've been astute enough to anticipate. whatever. the point is: because we missed our...
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FOILED.
January 9, 2006 | Comments: 10
goddammit, so the D-50 doesn't come with a memory card?!? it just arrived via UPS, but of course now i can't even use it! pointless! now i just want to kill somebody. thanks, Nikon!
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a camera-related update for “those people.”
January 6, 2006 | Comments: 14
i was just sitting here reading over the (quite helpful, thank you) comments on my earlier post about digital SLRs, and turned to tell jamie -- who was sitting next to me on our couch at the time -- about what i was reading, when he suddenly blurted out: “i'm getting you a camera, okay? its the D-50, okay? happy?...
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mutual admiration society, or: i once took purty pictures, too.
January 5, 2006 | Comments: 10
alright already, i give up: what camera should i buy? i don't think i have the bank to outfit myself with a D70, sadly. what rocks that's not quite so pricey? during my late teens/early 20s i had my own darkroom... exhibited photos at shows... was accepted to, and very nearly attended, the art institute of chicago for photography. though...
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panexa.
January 3, 2006 | Comments: 3
do not taunt panexa. and for crissakes, be sure to read the important information for women, ladies.
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don't look back, like dylan in the movies.
January 1, 2006 | Comments: 1
the new mcsweeney's comes -- at least to subscribers -- with a sample of wholphin, a “dvd magazine of unseen things.” for the sake of brevity, their self-description: Wholphin is our new quarterly DVD magazine, featuring short films, documentaries, animation, and instructional videos that have not, for whatever reason, found wide release. in this issue there's a documentary circa the...
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woot.
December 23, 2005 | Comments: 1
there are many reasons to love woot... besides the obvious very cool one-day deals on stuff, their truth-in-advertising-type descriptions of products give me the giggle-snorts: Mediocre Under Cabinet CD Player $29.99 ...Yes, the manufacturer is mediocre. Some people might refer to the GPX/York brandname as “craptacular”, but we prefer the more optimistic “affordabletacular”. Besides, if you're gonna get chili sauce...
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dora's talking money pit.
December 19, 2005 | Comments: 5
yesterday jamie and M_ and i drove down to the dreaded burbs of northern virginia (its like a strip mall! but with mcmansions!), to engage in early xmas gift-exchanging festivities with jamie's family, as well as to celebrate jamie's 32nd birthday (he's touting the coming year as his “jesus year” -- the one in which he'll perform all his miracles...
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break out the smelling salts, as i may pass out.
December 19, 2005 | Comments: 7
just received our utility bill for the past month. we may soon be wearing mittens, scarves and hats indoors. i hate everything. happy monday, everybody!
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f**k christmas.
December 13, 2005 | Comments: 24
GENIUS! and, to follow-up, just a little clarity regarding what christmas is all about.* we call it xmas around here, incidentally. EDIT: d'oh! i posted *this link and then later realized the original source is here: fuckchristmas.org. just, uhh, clarifyin'.
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