Sweetney

Thank you, Tom Waits

Though it may be a dark night of my soul, I'm blinded by his brillance:

Thank god the good old man is back.

I'm too old for ALL of this shit

Things of note -- the good, the bad, and the fugly:

• I'm gonna be published! Like, in a real, actual book and stuff! I KNOW! It's like someone confused me -- a lowly child-exploiting pimp -- with a real writer! Oh, inverted world!
  

• I am (yawn) A PIMP! YES, AGAIN! BUT IN AN ALL-NEW PIMPTASTIC WAY: I PIMP OTHER BLOGGERS! BLOGGERS I KNOW AND LIKE! FOR SHAME ON ME AND ALL OTHER PIMPS/HOS LIKE ME WHO LIKE OTHER BLOGGERS! (yawn)

• In case you hadn't caught on yet, the word of the day week (month?) is "Pimp". I have no idea why this is the case, but clearly IT JUST IS. Do not question the wisdom of the hive mind! Go out and use it whenever and wherever you can, my friends. Everyone else is doin' it. Sheep say Baaaaah!
  

• I'm almost 38 years old. I'm almost 38 years old and last night I stayed up until (gasp!) 2am, and over the course of the entire 6-hour evening spent lustily chitty-chatting with a my friend Angela I consumed a grand total of 3 glasses of wine (double gasp!). This equation -- 38x2am+3wine -- naturally means I feel like a whole convoy of tractor trailer trucks filled with anvils did the hokey-pokey on my whole entire self -- my corporeal form right down to my immortal soul -- all night whilst I slept. Exaggeration and melodrama aside, I feel certain I might be dying. (ROSEBUD!...)

• In an ill-advised fit of pre-38x2am+3wine optimism I promised some very, very special ladies that I would participate in this week's Friday Flashbacky thingymajigger, and since I actually umm kind of wrote this week's question, I feel as though I should really follow the fuck through and do some bootstrap-pulling-upping and so HERE:

Q: What was the first movie you ever saw?

A: Jason and the MFing Argonauts, beeyotches!:

And to answer your question: YES, my parents clearly hated me with the fiery passion of a thousand imploding suns.

So what was your first movie experience, and did it by any chance give you evil skeleton-based nightmares that left you emotionally and psychologically hobbled for years? No? Just me? Really? Huh.

. . . . .
Please to visit our other fine Flashback Friday participants:

(The One, The ONLY) Mamalogues
Oh the Joys
Mrs. Flinger
IzzyMom

Let's start the weekend off on the right foot, shall we?

Because nothing says TGIF, MOTHERFUCKERS! quite like Stephen Colbert dancing a jig while singing "King Of Glory":

(Thanks for the heads-up, Angela!)

OMG! All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash!1!!!

I don't know if you've been tracking The Onion News Network, but I'm pretty well sold on its radness at this point. Exhibit A:

Genius, people. Sheer Genius.

Hey, Let's Go!

Allow me to infect you with share with you the song that's been playing non-stop in my head for the past several days thanks to M, the HAPPY! HAPPY! theme song to My Neighbor Totoro:

Look at all my many friends! Ready, set, let's goooooo!!!

You're welcome.

What are you doing Sunday night?

Because people, you NEED to be hanging out with me and all the other Gorgeous Ladies Of MamaPop during our Oscars 2008 Extravaganza. Yes, that's a need, not a want.

The festival of betchy snarkitude will start this Sunday at 7pm ET, please to consult the details here. After the show, we'll spend some time braiding each other's hair and talking about which boys we think are the dreamiest. It's going to be totally tubular.

In the meantime, this just gives me an excuse to put up the following video of tasty-deliciousness:

(swoooooon.)

Also see part 2 and part 3.

PS: SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAAAAAY!!!

Paraphrase Theater: Star Wars

Jury duty, Day One. Wifi at the courthouse is making the experience only mildly hellish. After all, how bad can it be when I get to sit on my ass all day and watch stuff like this:

And now to partake of The Circuit Court of Baltimore City's delightful three day old coffee served in a microscopic styrofoam cup. Yay.

PS: Also, swear to god, one of my fellow jurors is stalking me. Yes, already! He's shadowed me to two "quiet rooms" in the courthouse, and has now positioned himself at the table directly across from me. Total creepster. Is staring at me uncomfortably, tugging lightly the edges of his dark pubic-hair-like beard.

My life = filled to overflowing with awesome sauce.

Herpex: Side Effects May Include Teletransportation

snort. Ad parodies sticking it to the pharmaceutical industry make me almost unreasonably happy.

Finally, a candidate I can get behind!

A Candidate that speaks TO ME! snort.

Pedro & Frankensheep

"Sleep is like a holiday for the brain." Tru, dat.

For the record, I LOVE THIS MAN

"What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman?" HAHAHAAAAA!

Very possibly the funniest human being alive, right there.

"The Wire": Four Seasons in Four Minutes

This makes me unbelievably happy. If y'all aren't watching this show, you need to be.

Happy Fight The Power day, everybody!

In honor, in memoriam, with deep respect, let us remember why:

A purse is not food!

I really couldn't be more frightened by this

Umm, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE MOTHERFUCKER!

Wake me when this election is over, okay?